The words hang in the air between us.
"You love her," Matteo repeats, and his voice is deadly quiet. "You love her. That's supposed to make this better? That's supposed to excuse any of it?"
"No. It doesn't excuse anything. But it's the truth. I've been in love with her for years. Since before—" I stop. "Since before I had any right to feel that way. And I stayed away because Iknew it was wrong. I knew you'd never approve. I knew it would destroy everything between us. But then the cabin happened and I couldn't—I tried to stay away and I couldn't do it anymore."
He's moving toward me and I can see it in his face, the decision being made, the line being crossed.
"You should have fucking tried harder," he growls.
Then he hits me.
The punch comes fast and hard, catching me in the jaw, snapping my head to the side, and I don't block it, don't defend myself, just take it, straighten up and look at him.
He hits me again. Ribs this time. Then stomach. Then face again.
I don't fight back.
I let him hit me because I deserve it, because this is what I earned when I touched his sister without permission, when I fell in love with the one person in the world he trusted me to protect without wanting.
"Fight back," he snarls.
I don't.
He hits me harder, a combination to the ribs that drives the air from my lungs and sends pain lancing through my healing knife wound, and I go down to one knee.
"I said fucking fight back!" He grabs my shirt and hauls me up. "Defend yourself, you coward!"
"No." Blood is running from my split lip. "I'm not fighting you. Do whatever you need to do. I'm not fighting back."
His fist connects with my face again and the world tilts, goes grey at the edges, but I stay conscious through sheer force of will.
"I would do anything for her," I say, and my voice is thick with blood. "Anything, Matteo. I would die for her. I would kill for her. I would burn down the whole world if that's what it took to keep her safe."
"You're not keeping her safe. You're putting her in danger." Another punch, this one to the gut, and I double over. "You made her a target. You destroyed her reputation. You ruined the one alliance that could have protected her from the O'Rourkes."
"I know." I straighten up with effort. "I know all of that. And I'll spend the rest of my life making it right. I'll find another way to protect her. I'll fix the alliance. I'll handle the O'Rourkes. Just tell me where she is. Please."
He hits me again and I taste more blood, feel something crack in my ribs, and the pain is sharp, bright and clarifying.
"She's gone because of you," Matteo says, and his voice is shaking with fury. "She's on the other side of the world because I can't keep her safe here. Because you couldn't keep your hands to yourself. Because you betrayed me."
"I know."
"Stop saying you know!" He grabs me by the throat and slams me against the wall. "Stop accepting everything I say like it's penance! Fight back! Defend yourself! Give me a reason not to kill you right now!"
I look at him directly, his hand on my throat, his face inches from mine, and I see it clearly.
He wants to kill me.
He's deciding right now if he's going to kill me and part of him wants to, wants to crush my throat, end this and never have to look at me again.
"I love her," I say again, quietly. "That's the only defense I have. I love her more than I've ever loved anything and I would do anything to be with her. Including die here if that's what you decide."
His hand tightens on my throat.
The door slams open.
"Fucking hell, Matteo, stop!" Rafael's voice.
