‘I agree.’
‘My female colleagues keep talking about how these types of books are all written by men for men because, for women with a family or elderly parents, productivity is just not an option. You can’t zone out from the rest of your life just to work. It’s only possible if your mom or wife or sister takes care of everything else.’
‘That’s what my sister says too.’
‘You look younger than your pictures,’ she remarks. ‘And that’s saying something.’
‘You look exactly like your pictures. I mean that as a compliment.’
She smiles. ‘You never know with dating apps. Dating is a minefield, isn’t it? You don’t know what you will step into.’
‘People who walk into literal minefields would take exception to that analogy,’ I say. ‘And I wouldn’t know. I haven’t been dating. So, how’s work?’
She talks about her work and asks me about the motorcycle trip across Europe that I organize every year with a small group of twenty people with the will to go on a messy trip and the money to spare.
Heena and I drink slowly and yet the bottles keep piling up on our table.
‘How you raised your sister is amazing,’ she says. ‘Even grown men wouldn’t have been able to do that.’
‘To be fair, Rabbani is amazing. She raised herself. And who knows how I would have acted if I wasn’t pushed into it.’
‘Stop pretending to be humble,’ she brushes me off. ‘I stopped doing that long ago. The more you say it, the more people believe it.’ She takes a sip and catches my gaze. ‘Why did you swipe right on me?’
‘My sister did,’ I start with the truth. ‘She thinks I need to go out.’
She smiles. ‘And you don’t agree with her? You’re like mid-thirties. It’s natural for her to think that you should...’
‘Settle down? On my way here, I was thinking about it. Settling down. But then I thought, I have done all of that. Raised a child, been with someone, then not been with someone. What part of settling down is left?’
‘Having someone to grow old with? Not returning to an empty house?’
‘My father is the busiest person you will meet. He has built an entire city around himself. Co-workers, friends, running partners, poker partners. So yeah, I’m a little on the fenceregarding that. But, Heena, you want to settle down? That’s like... what you want.’
‘That’s why I’m on this first date, right?’
I nod, trying to hide that this will probably be the last time I will see her. It has nothing to do with her. She’s intelligent, smart and attractive. But I don’t see the point.
‘... but of course, I know this is going to end on this first date,’ she says with a smile.
And she’s intuitive.
‘Why do you say that?’ I ask her.
‘When I was little, my mother had cheated on my father. It came out of nowhere. She was a homemaker, conservative, very small circle, and yet she found a man—a neighbour—and she had a brief affair. My father, who worked in the municipality, couldn’t believe it. I think even my mother couldn’t believe that it happened. You know, there were tears and apologies and they somehow made it work. But my father... there was sadness in him; it would radiate. I could always feel it even behind the smiles and normality of our home. He never said anything. But I sensed it. I felt the same while listening to your podcast. There is a strange melancholy about you.’
‘There’s no melancholy about me. You’re just seven years younger. A thirty-three-year-old is always tired. You will get there.’
‘Your eyes keep flitting. As if you’re waiting for someone.’
‘Just want to see if the waiter can repeat the drinks.’
‘You’re deflecting,’ she says with a knowing smile. ‘Whatever you’re looking for, it’s not me.’
‘I didn’t . . . are you offended?’
‘You might be old, but I’m wise.’
She adds, ‘This has more to do with you than me. I like these dates better. Where the confusion solves itself quickly.’
