‘JUST COME OUT!’ I shout. ‘NOTHING WILL HAPPEN! I WILL MAKE EVERYTHING ALL RIGHT!BHAI HOON MAI TERA! TU BAS BAHAR AAJA!’
The policemen pull me away. Another one runs in with a door-slammer and hits it at the lock. The policeman stumbles and the door breaks open. I spot the fan first.
It’s turning slowly.
Gaurav hangs from it. With a gut-wrenching cry, Aanchal charges forward and clasps his body tight in her embrace.
The truth stares at us.
Gaurav’s gone.
PART 4
FOUR YEARS LATER
1.
Daksh Dey
I can hear Baba in the kitchen, humming a tune as he arranges our dinner of Thai green curry into bowls. His nonchalance is matched by Rabbani’s, who’s leaning into her chair, playing a game of Tetris as if it’s not a life-changing moment. On the other hand, I, who had barely slept last night have palms that are slick with sweat. The clock inches towards twelve.It seems like time’s a viscous quicksand and I’m drowning in it slowly and painfully. It’s result day and only I seem to be shitting bricks.
‘You’re making me nervous, Dada,’ Rabbani says, without looking away from her phone. ‘It’s going to be chill, I’m telling you.’
‘I’m not even doing anything.’
She rolls her eyes. Kids roll their eyes so frequently these days that it looks like they have cataract. Not that Rabbani’s a kid anymore; she’s seventeen now. It seems only yesterday that I had given my entrance examination, and today it’s her result day. Soon she will be off to college. This sentence itself sits strangely in my mind. What’s even worse is that all her college searches have been away from Delhi—Mumbai... Bangalore.
Rabbani announces in a dull drawl most teenagers affect these days, a mix of disinterest and rudeness, ‘I’ve chosen the subject of our next podcast: How Parents Are More Nervous about Their Child’s Marks in NEET exams.’
‘You’re my sister,’ I remind her.
‘Semantics.’
‘And child’s marks? You’re not a child any more,’ I remind her.
That she’s not a child breaks my heart.
‘And yet our listeners would say you’re exploiting me for views and likes and whatnot,’ she says with a laugh.
Our four-year-old podcast,Things I Would Say to My Younger Self, started off with a conversation between thirteen-year-old Rabbani and me. The premise was simple, effective and scalable. As a former teen, I would give her my hard-gotten, time-tested gyaan. And Rabbani would mercilessly shoot it down and call me a dinosaur with archaic views. Listeners found her smart and labelled me as grumpy but understanding. They loved our banter. The podcast made me realize how old I was getting. In your thirties, you can no longer be relevant, I know that now. There are only two options: either to age gracefully, in which case the younger people don’t care, or try hard to be relevant, in which case you become a wannabe, a joke, someone trying too hard. The thirties is the old-age home of coolness. It’s where you retire.
Within a year,Things I Would Say to My Younger Selfoutstripped my earlier podcast with Amruta,Kids Raising Kids, by a mile. According to a Nielsen survey, we were in the top fivemost-listened-to podcasts in the country. This is when the first of the hate started trickling in. Some listeners pointed out that my conversations with Rabbani constituted child mistreatment, even abuse. I was accused of violating her private life and exploiting her for views and for money. Even when I argued that she genuinely enjoyed recording the podcast, they would not relent and declared that kids cannot possibly know what’s right for them at that age. That kids Rabbani’s age only do things to please their parents or guardians. Despite Rabbani’s strong protestations to keep going, I begrudgingly ended the show.
We fought every day for months.
‘We wouldn’t have teenage Olympians if parents didn’t push their kids to do stuff they’re kinda into but aren’t sure about!’ Rabbani had snapped.
‘They would argue that there’s no need for teenage Olympians,’ I had countered.
‘Dada, then everything is child abuse! Then, then, then sending kids to schools with those ancient education systems like CBSE when there are better education systems, like, IB and British Curriculum, that’s child abuse too!’
‘Earning money off you isn’t right,’ I told her flatly.
‘Just invest it in stocks or open an FD or whatever. And BTW, parents taking money from their grown-up kids is wrong too then! Because the only reason they have money is because their parents pushed them in to studying! Or should I say tortured them? Or should I say abused them!’
‘That’s really not something I can reply to a hate comment.’
But it’s logic like this that has brought in a lot of listeners to the podcast.
