“Fine.” I replay our conversation, wondering what to ask. “Give me something, too?”
“Give you something, what?”
I mull over my words, wondering how to even the playing field without sounding desperate, even though I want to turn Eris into a squirming mess too. “What do I need to whisper in your ear, so people believe us?”
“Oh my god, I hate you.” Eris lets out a strangled sigh. “Donottell anyone this, but I kind of have a praise kink.”
“You?” I laugh, but stop when Eris doesn’t join me. “Sorry. That’s not funny?”
“No, I get it,” Ze scoffs. “Like I said, I’m emotionally repulsive as a defense mechanism. So when people aren’t repelled… It’s nice.” Eris’s hands go back to twisting zis hemline, and I fight the urge to reach out, to take them in mine again instead.
“So, you want me to say you look pretty in that dress?” I ask, somewhat hesitantly. “Or that I like your laugh?”
Eris is quiet for a moment. “Only if you mean it. Like, don’t lie.”
“I do,” I glance over to see Eris staring hard at zis lap, delighting at how much ze is fidgeting from a mere hesitant compliment, as ze crosses and recrosses zis legs at the ankle. “Thank you for coming with me, Eris. I’m glad you’re here, that we’re doing this together.”
“Oh my god, stop.” The light brown skin behind the scattered stars along zis cheekbones flushes, zis lips pressed between zis teeth.
Determined to see how flustered I can make zim this weekend, I start silently listing ways I might praise Eris, a smug smile on my face. Surprisingly, considering how much energy I’ve dedicated to analyzing everything I don’t like about zim, the things I appreciate about Eris flow like a spring, and I add compliment after compliment to my mental list.
Eight
Matt
Whenwearriveatthe hotel in “Downtown” Solberg, I park under an old basswood to protect my car from the hot June sun. The air is sweet from the fields and woods around town, with a cold undercurrent from the river that winds past the hotel. Leaning against the door, I stretch out my stiff leg. My heart swells as I bask in the familiar comfort of the brick buildings and cute shops lining Main Street.
Being here feels too easy, too normal. Especially with Eris in tow, who doesn’t fit into my mental image of home. We get a few looks from people driving by, which is to be expected anytime there’s a stranger in Solberg. At this point, I may as well be one myself, and Eris sticks out like a sore thumb. Zis baby pink sundress (paired with combat boots) leaves the weird tattoos and hairy chest on full display as we grab our bags from the car.
And yet, I feel no dissonance.
It’s so peaceful and right and everything I missed. The townies passing by probably assume we’re with the college when they ignore us. Things between Eris and I have gotten almostcomfortable after six hours sharing everything about ourselves. So comfortable that I forget that I’m supposed to be dreading this.
As strong, familiar arms wrap around my waist and whirl me in circles without warning, I remember that this weekend won’t be as easy as the car ride here.
When Matt sets me down amidst our laughter, Eris’s face is tense, unreadable. Ze stares up at Matt, who is all goofy excitement and unabashed joy in contrast. Is Eris acting the part of a jealous partner? Or is ze actually upset? Maybe ze’s anxious?
“What the hell is this, Bloke?” With a scoff, Matt snatches a pair of black heels out of my hand. I was in the middle of stuffing them back into Eris’s tote bag when he picked me up. “You’re not wearing these are you?”
“So what if they are?” Eris asks, voice sharp.
Glancing at me in panic, Matt stiffens, his boyish enthusiasm draining away. “Because you’re gonna be limping for weeks!” He elbows me with a more forced attempt at cheer. “Remember prom, dude? I had to carry you home, and those were flats!”
“What Blake wears or doesn’t wear is none of your business.” Eris’s scarred eyebrow raises at me, and my insides squirm. Maybe I should have told Eris about my knee.
“Kinda is, though.” Matt shifts back and forth, the way he does when his conflict-avoidant ass wants to run away from a tense conversation. “I’m not letting them reinjure their knee at the wedding I invited them to.”
With a confused frown, Eris cocks zis head. “That’s a weird way to phrase it. It’syourwedding, isn’t it?”
I still can’t tell if Eris is acting the part or just being a dick, but I’m over it. Eris is here to be an abrasive weirdo, yes, but not toMatt. Ze and I might be friends now, and if we are, I want my friends to get along. “Eris, you said you weren’t gonna be an asshole.”
Ze snorts. “No,yousaid that. My assholery is part of my charm.”
I scowl, uncaring if Matt thinks it’s weird that we’re not all lovey-dovey. If he calls me out, I’ll come up with something about how not every relationship is the same. “Well, I don’t need you to speak for me. Letmetell Matt off for telling me what to wear.”
Eris gives me a long look, then smirks and ruffles my hair. “Look at you, advocating for yourself. Proud of you, Bambi!”
“Shut up!” I smack zis hand away.
