Lila
Irun my fingersalong the spines of my books, feeling the familiar textures under my fingertips. Some are worn smooth from countless readings, others still crisp and new. Each one holds a piece of me, a memory, an escape route from the hell my life had become. The house is quiet around me, just the soft sound of my breathing and the occasional creak of the old shelves as I remove another volume. Every few minutes, my eyes drift to the lavender chair, and heat rises to my cheeks as I remember Anthony’s body against mine, the way he made me feel safe even in this place that had been a prison for so long.
My body still tingles from his touch, that delicious soreness between my thighs a reminder of what we shared here. I pull down another book, a worn paperback with a cracked spine and smile at the memory of reading it during one of Eli’s business trips, curled up in this very chair while rain lashed against the windows. That night had been minealone, a rare moment of peace during years of walking on eggshells.
Now every night can be mine. With Anthony or without him, my time belongs to me again.
I place the book carefully in a half-filled box, marveling at how many I’ve collected over the years. Romances with their passionate embraces on the covers. Thrillers that kept me up all night. Poetry that gave words to feelings I couldn’t express. They’ve been my friends, my counselors, my escape hatches from reality. And now they’re coming with me to my new life.
“Where am I going to put all of you?” I murmur to the remaining shelves, still heavy with books. My room doesn’t have space for this many volumes. I’ve been saving for my own place, but I’m still months away from a down payment.
Maybe Anthony would let me store some at his place. The thought brings another flush to my cheeks. We haven’t talked about moving in together, five months is too soon. Especially after what I’ve been through, but I’m at his townhouse more nights than not lately. My toothbrush has a permanent spot in his bathroom. My favorite tea sits in his kitchen cabinet. Plus, the things he’s bought for me to make me comfortable at his house. Little pieces of me migrating into his space. Just as he’s carved out space in my heart.
I pull down another book, this one a battered copy of Jane Eyre. The irony isn’t lost on me, a woman escaping one controlling man only to fall for another mysterious figure. Except Anthony never locked me away, never lied about who he was at his core. His methods were unorthodox, sure, but his heart was true.
The sound of my own laughter startles me. When did I become such a romantic? Probably around the time I let my stalker fuck me on this chair and loved every second of it.
I glance out the window, half-expecting to see Anthony in my Subaru pulling back into the driveway, but the space remains empty. The sun is lower now, casting long shadows across the dunes beyond the house. We should wrap this up before dark; I don’t want to be here any longer than necessary.
Setting Jane Eyre in the box, I move to another shelf, this one holding the fantasy novels that were my most frequent escape. Dragons and magic and worlds where good triumphs over evil. If only real life worked that way. But then again, I did escape my monster. Eli is locked away, and I’m free. Maybe happy endings aren’t just for books after all.
The house creaks around me, settling as the temperature drops with the setting sun. It’s an old sound, familiar but no longer comforting. This place doesn’t feel like mine anymore, if it ever truly did. It’s just a shell now, holding the last pieces of my old life until I can carry them away.
A soft thud from the foyer breaks the silence.
“Anthony?” I call, setting down the book in my hands. “That was fast.”
No answer comes. Maybe he’s struggling with the boxes. I set the book I’m holding into the nearest box and head for the door, eager to help him.
“I’ve got at least another wall to organize,” I say as I step into the hallway. “We’re definitely going to need—”
I freeze mid-sentence, my blood turning to ice in my veins. It’s not Anthony standing in the foyer.
It’s Eli.
“You didn’t think you were getting away that easy, did you?” His voice is the same. That cold, controlled tone that always preceded the worst violence. But he looks different. Harder, his usually immaculate appearance now ragged around the edges. Prison hasn’t been kind to him.
My mind can’t process what I’m seeing. Eli is supposed to be in jail awaiting trial. Eli is supposed to be gone from my life. Eli cannot possibly be standing here, looking at me with those ice-blue eyes that have haunted my nightmares.
“How...” The word comes out as a whisper, my throat suddenly desert-dry with fear.
“You know what they say,” he replies, taking a step toward me. “Money talks. And I’ve always had friends in the right places.”
Run. The command flashes through my brain like a neon sign. I spin on my heel, bolting back toward the library. If I can get inside, barricade the door like I used to.
His footsteps pound behind me, gaining quickly. I’m halfway to the library when his hand catches in my hair, yanking me backward with enough force to make me cry out. Pain lances through my scalp as he drags me against him, his other arm snaking around my waist.
“I don’t think so,” he hisses in my ear, his breath hot against my skin. “You’ve caused me enough trouble.”
I struggle against his hold, kicking backward, trying to connect with his shins, his knees, anything. “Let me go! Anthony will be back any minute—”
“Your stalker boyfriend?” Eli laughs, the sound sharp and humorless. “I’m counting on it. But we’ll be long gone by then.”
Fear floods my system, turning my muscles to water. Long gone? Where is he planning to take me? I try to twist in his grip, to face him, maybe reason with him.
Something hard connects with the side of my head. Stars explode across my vision, the pain immediate and blinding. My knees buckle, but Eli’s arm around my waist keeps me upright.
“I told you what would happen if you ever tried to leave me,” he says, his voice sounding far away now as darkness edges into my vision. “You’re mine, Lila. You’ll always be mine.”
