What just happened? What have I done? Embarrassment washes over me like fire while terror grips tightly around my heart. I can’t shake off thoughts of Eli seeing any of this on camera; if he does... I’m dead.
Yanking my water bottle off the counter and quickly making my way back inside my library. I am utterly confused now. I grab my phone and pull up the camera feeds just to check; they had been cycling earlier without even revealing that stalker was here at all. The cameras remain clear for now, thank goodness.
Thoughts race uncontrollably: Am I a horrible person? Was that cheating? Did I just cheat on Eli? Why do I care so much? Bringing my left hand up slowly reveals naked ring finger, no wedding band since the last time Eli forced himself on me, not like tonight. He’d really hurt me, leaving physical scars on my body and in my mind.
Sliding my chair back against the library door, I crawl under one of my throw blankets, feeling safer there until noticing something new resting atop the nightstand. Another book! I must have woken up because he was in the room, then tried to leave unnoticed when I came into the kitchen... I lay awake, fantasizing about what would have happened if I’d let him continue. Simultaneously berating myself for both telling him to stop and letting him go as far as he did.
15
Anthony
Ihear her whisper“stop” in my ear, and I do. I don’t want to stop at all; I crave her so intensely that my entire body aches. It’s not worth breaking her trust. I pull back, distancing myself from her. The front of my pants is slick with her arousal, and I let out a groan as I hurry around the house toward the dunes where my bike is hidden. She scrambles back up the steps, and I hear the knife softly clatter as she picks it up again. Then the sliding door slams shut. None of this was part of the plan.
All I wanted was to leave her another book. She woke up and caught me off guard. After that last mission, I couldn't wait to see her. Tonight was the perfect night since Eli wasn't home. She hid the key somewhere else, so I had to pick the back lock and disable her alarm. Maybe I made too much noise? Maybe I lingered too long; perhaps her body sensed my presence and stirred her awake. I wanted to apologize to her for this, but that would make things worse.
If she hadn’t fallen down those steps, I wouldn’t have turned around, and she might have gone back inside. Did I take it too far? I was so close to losing control that it terrified me. Jesus Christ, that would have been better than this insatiable ache within me. In my 32 years of life, I’ve never felt so turned on before.
Once I’m back at my bike, I watch her house from a distance. All the lights switch off again, and I can picture her settling back into her chair, blocking the door as she used to do, not long ago. Tonight I was surprised to find her library door unlocked. I'm not sure if it was a fluke, she just forgot, or if she was becoming comfortable again.
Since that night I put the surveillance software on her phone, I've watched her for hours while we were away. Even as she worked with Mia. I watched from their security cameras and I watched from her phone camera as she scrolled while having lunch. She's had almost no interaction with Eli at all. Hopefully, his intent isn't to make her comfortable, then try to hurt her. I want him to stay as far away from her as possible.
Starting my bike here isn’t an option; the noise would draw attention and I’ve already caused enough trouble tonight. So, I walk it down the street a bit before hopping on and heading home. It starts to rain again. Thankfully, I don't have far to go.
My townhouse sits on the other side of the bay from Lila’s place, conveniently near my little sister Mia’s house, but I’ve never seen Lila visit there herself. Is that because of Eli? He probably accuses her of cheating if she doesn’t come straight home after work or errands. Is that why she escapes into those fantasy novels so often?
After I arrive home, I put my bike in its own mini plastic cubical. Perfect for a matte black beauty. Ascending the stairs from the garage into the kitchen, the only noise inside is the faint hum from the refrigerator. Taking a beer from it, I chug it hoping the cold will cool me off after my experience. It does nothing. Maybe a cold shower will?
My master suite is at the top, so I head up there and undress, placing all my wet clothes in the hamper. Except for the jeans with Lila’s scent, I toss those on my bed.
Sleep is going to be impossible tonight. I lean forward, pressing my palms against the cool tile, breathing heavily. Trying to think of something else, anything, but all I can picture is Lila on the stairs, her cheeks flushed a deep red, her tank top clinging to her skin, eyes wide and alive. I can’t shake her from my mind. I squeeze my eyes shut and let the water wash over my face, hoping it will drown out thoughts of her. It doesn’t work. I feel her thighs pressed around me as I rub against her. I think of how she shudders when I hold her wrists above her head. The desire to taste her makes my teeth ache.
I replay the sound she made when I moved against her. Her breath hitching in a way I’ve never heard before, as if she’s never been touched like that. With some conditioner in my hand, I grip myself tightly and stroke quickly, wishing for a swift release so I can finally rest. I envision the curve of Lila’s backside as she hurries up the stairs and recall the first time I’d seen her at the bookstore. She tries to shrink away from me, her hair bright against that black shirt, chin tucked down as she avoids meeting my gaze.
I imagine kneeling between her legs in that library of hers, pushing apart those soft thighs and licking until she forgets every word she’s ever read; so she can live thosescenes instead of pretending they are just stories. As I pump my hand faster, muffled noises escape me. The image that keeps returning is Lila gasping for air, eyes rolling back in bliss as pleasure courses through her body; how that thin tank top fabric reveals every detail beneath.
I want to ruin Lila for every other man, to make her scream my name and then hold her close as she comes down from that high. Thoughts drift to seeing her on her knees in my shower; water cascading down those shoulders while hair clings to her face. I’d guide those hands to my thighs and let her decide how far she’d go, not forcing but not stopping either, as she’d let me take control.
Pleasure builds within me; legs tremble under pressure while locking my knees into place to keep going. That’s when it hits hard enough that everything around me fades for a moment. I lean back with each pulse releasing itself from me with low grunts escaping my lips. Even after finishing, an ache remains, a hollow feeling inside that only Lila can fill.
After rinsing off and turning off the water, I dry myself quickly before padding naked into my bedroom where earlier-worn jeans lie on the bed; pressing them briefly to my face inhaling any last traces of her scent brings a strange guilt creeping in, a sense of crossing an irreversible line.
The longing consumes me. It scares me more than anything else because it isn’t just about sex; it’s about wanting every piece of who she is. Wanting access to all parts of Lila’s life. Collapsing onto the mattress pushes aside these thoughts for only a few minutes before rolling over to grab my phone instead, I open up the app checking camera feeds scanning for any sign of familiarity among shadows withinLila’s home’s angles until one realization strikes: there are no cameras inside Eli’s office.
I wonder what he’s trying to hide. Maybe I should dig a little deeper and find out. Something feels off. He has all these cameras to watch Lila, but none for her to watch him.
She is in her library, and it seems like she’s already asleep. I hope this means she will trust me. Halloween is around the corner, and it’s hard to believe I’ve been following her for four months, yet this is the closest we’ve come in contact. It’s October now.
There’s a masquerade party at the club by the boardwalk; I wonder if I can cleverly ask Mia to persuade Lila to come without her finding out my secret. Our brief encounter might have given her some confidence.
After closing the app I’ve been using to watch her, I send Cainen a text message asking if he thinks there’s a way to tap into Eli’s office or even track his car. I really do wonder where he goes during these long absences, especially with someone like Lila at home.
16
Lila
My techno alarm blastingrepeatedly again, forcing me back to consciousness after what feels like mere minutes of sleep. My body feels different this morning, there’s a lingering warmth where his hands touched me, phantom pressure where his weight held me down. I stretch and wince at the slight soreness in my wrists, faint bruises already forming like bracelets. What happened last night was real. Not a dream, not a fantasy pulled from one of my books. And I’m going to have to face Valerie and Mia with this secret written all over my face.
I go through my morning routine on autopilot. Shower, coffee, clothes. I pull on a long-sleeved shirt desperate to hide the dull marks circling my wrists. In the bathroom mirror, I spot a faint pink mark on my neck where he kissed me. I dab concealer over it, hands trembling slightly before covering it with a towel again. What am I doing? Hiding evidence like somecriminal?
