I don’t care that the next pair aren’t lace either. As long as they carry the scent of her velvet pussy.
Wanting this woman so badly; I don’t understand it myself. I want her body, her mind, her very soul. She will be mine. I won’t settle for anything else.
Good thing I got this little piece of her now, though. In case I can't get back in before next month. I have a mission and I need to be focused. Fortunately for her, if this goes on much longer, I’ll be forced to come inside and love her whether she wants me to or not. Though, I have a strong feeling that she would be willing.
I’m starting to get hard thinking of her all over again. Maybe I should try a cold shower before I hurt myself.
12
Lila
He stands outside mylibrary window most nights, between the sections of dune grass. Even after I threatened him with a knife in the camera. It’s been a couple of weeks and he hasn’t made contact again. Nor has he left any more notes, assuming that he is the one who left it with the books before.
He just stands there and watches, like he’s hoping for some sort of reaction. Eli told me I couldn’t call the police again and if whoever it was wanted to kill me, they would have already. That is not comforting at all. Then again, it has been a very long time since he cared to comfort me, if he ever has.
After that last incident, Eli hasn’t really spoken to me either. I prefer this over what was going on before. I’d rather coast along alone than be in the same house with Eli. He didn’t come home after that night for over a week, yet still seemed to know that I’d called the police. He hasn’t stayed more than a night or two sincethen either.
As I sit here in my little library, alone, thoughts move from past to present, as they usually do. My chair is facing the window but still in front of my door. I keep all the lights in this room off when it’s dark outside so I can see him out there, wearing his strange mask with the dim lights. It’s harder for him to see through the window. His silhouette is lit up by the moonlight when the moon is high in the sky, reflecting off of the bay. He stands there for hours. Watching me on his phone instead of through the window after I’ve turned all the lights off.
I can’t help the thrill I feel that moves from the fear in my heart, to the heat between my legs. Before he started watching me, I don’t remember the last time I felt that way. Thrill and not the terror Eli instills. I can’t trust him, Iknowhe will hurt me… he has before.
Of course, I’m not stupid enough to believe this man outside won’t hurt me, either. What the hell am I hoping for, anyway? I’m married and I know if I try to leave, Eli will find me. I’m snared and can’t get away, no matter how many times I’ve tried in the past.
This almost has to be the man from the bookstore. He’s the only run in with a man that I’ve had. I haven’t met anyone else, and he was way too friendly when we met and followed me to my car like a lost puppy. I can’t believe he called me gorgeous in public. That and how the fuck he got into my house. I thought I’d been clear when I told him no.
These staring contests are the worst. I can’t do anything else until I’m sure he’s left. I can’t read, I can’t sleep. Though sometimes I pretend to sleep to see if he will get closer to the window, but he doesn’t. Both he and Eli know how to manipulate the cameras. I never seem to catch Eli’s activities or when this voyeur shows up and leaves.Only when I see him walk away and outside cameras stop cycling, I assume he’s gone. He could just be moving to watch me from somewhere I can’t see. Giving me false security.
Is he getting gratification from watching me or is he fucking with me? There are a million women out there that are actually beautiful. Worth spending time with and doting on, versus watching me, an unhappily married woman, through the window. I haven’t meant anything to my own husband for such a long time. So emotionally neglected that I accept attention from a lunatic.
What would it be like to be loved again, or was I ever? Geez, I am stupid. Letting my thoughts wander to a stalker romance instead of reality. This is unhealthy. I couldn’t stray even if it were reality. I’m married, I can’t be that kind of person. Even if Eli has broken his vows, I won’t. But… Maybe I should. Would Eli even care?
I tried to tell Eli that I knew this person was hacking into our cameras, but he doesn’t think anyone else can do it because they’re not as smart as him. There are plenty of people in this world smarter than he is. He simply has a bigger ego and is high on himself most of the time.
I watch as he turns and picks something up off the ground, then steps back behind the grass.
He doesn’t come back to the window once he walks away, so I’ve gotten comfortable falling asleep after. Though his watching is oddly comforting compared to the heavy feeling that comes from Eli’s office, even when I know I’m here alone. That could be my own paranoia. These men have me on edge.
13
Anthony
When the sun startsto set, turning the sky a brilliant shade of orange and pink, we’ve been up for hours, gathering information about the villagers and their children. We had dinner with the families and the extraction is planned for tomorrow morning.
The families here offer to pay us to retrieve their stolen daughters from a group of terrorist. They’d killed the bus driver and took the whole bus with twelve girls, we were told they were all under fifteen, still inside. Their government has all but given up.
These sorts of rescues we do for nothing, we ask only for room and board until the mission is over. This way we can figure out who we can trust and who we can’t.
I use my income from GameStream to cover it all. Being the silent owner of the largest streaming company in the world has its perks. I’d say these rescues are the most important.
It’s scorching hot here during the day and freezing cold at night. Even though I’m trained for this, I still complain. The locals don’t seem to notice; they’re either used to it or keep their gripes to themselves. When the sun sinks below the horizon, and it’s different in the desert. There are no clouds for the light to bounce off—just an open sky where the moon and stars’ true brilliance goes uninterrupted, casting a rippling glow across the salt flats. Nowhere else in the world is like this.
My thoughts drift to Lila at home, probably curled up in her oversized lounge chair, lost in one of the books I left her. She has no idea I’m away or anything about me, really. Yet she is the one person I want to see as soon as our flight home lands.
“Tony!” One of my team members calls out, pulling me back from my thoughts. It’s Dillian.
“What?!”
“I’ve been calling your name for ten minutes! What’s going on?” Dillian asks, his flat blue eyes piercing through the firelight.
