“I have always loved you. I will never love anyone else the way I love you. With this kind of devotion.”
“Button…” Elijah murmurs, and I can see the confusion and apprehension spread across his features.
“That was your nickname back then. I’m not sure why, but that’s what I called you.”
Big hazel eyes flicker up to meet mine, and his brow is creased heavily as he studies me.
“Bluebird,” he says, but I’m not sure what he means. He called me that earlier, too.
“I like them, yes,” I confirm.
Elijah shakes his head but says nothing more. He reads over the front of the page once more before setting it aside.
He reads various dreams—memories—that I have cataloged, including whereAaronhas been documented, and he traces thephotos of himself with his fingertips. Then, he sets them to the side and takes a deep breath.
“So,” he starts almost cautiously. “This Benjamin character… I gather that he was rather sweet?”
“Yes.” I grin. “He was very sweet and obedient. Most of the time.”
“Submissive? Gentle? Dependent?” His description is accurate, but the words sound borderline resentful. As if he’s judging his past self or resenting him.
“Yes, I believe so. I really only have pleasant memories, so I’m not sure what happened outside of those. But from what I know, I think he relied on me to protect him. To care for him.”
“Oh.” Elijah stands, moving around me on his way to the kitchen. I follow him a moment later and find him drinking from a cup of water.
He’s gripping the countertop, perspiration beading his forehead as he concentrates on his rampant thoughts.
Narrow hips lean thoughtlessly against the marble as if he’snottrying to actively seduce me—but I guess it’s always been easy for him. He’s never had to try.
“Are you okay?” I ask, and he hesitates before he nods slowly.
I watch the internal struggle. From the war inside his eyes to the way his hand shakes slightly around his glass. I want to soothe him, but I’m afraid of pushing too hard or interfering where I shouldn’t.
I planned to guide him and mold him—to show him exactly what it is we are meant to be to each other. But I’m beginning to understand that Elijah is a lot more stubborn and independentthan I once thought, and I believe he’ll find any sort of interference to be manipulation.
So instead, I give him room to battle himself, and I watch from several feet away. I’ll be here to clean up the carnage, or to reap the benefits of a war well won. There is nothing more for me to do.
I can love him patiently and in silence. I’ve done it my entire life, after all. I am well-versed in suffering.
“Okay,” Elijah says, successfully startling me from my own thoughts even as my eyes remain forever locked onto him. “We can pretend.”
“Pretend?” I echo, and something around my heart squeezes like a vice.
“Yes. I’m not completely sold on this wholepast loversthing, but I don’t really have another explanation for everything that’s happened between us. Or for the papers you have.” He sighs. “I guess I’m just too much of a realist.”
“So you don’t believe me?” I can hear the defeat in my voice, so I know he can too. Elijah sets his glass on the counter and approaches. A soft, warm palm rests on my hip.
“I find it hard to believe in fate. Iwantto believe you; I feel something when I’m with you. So, we can keep pushing forward with your theory as our foundation. And I’ll either begin to trust it the way you do, or… well… we’ll cross that bridge when we get there.”
I search his face. He’s staring up at me like his proposal makes the most sense in this situation, but it doesn’t. Not when all of the proof is so damning, and my heart beats so loudly forhim. Not when my teeth have scarred his flesh and my come as soaked into the pores of his skin.
But I digress. I would do anything he asked of me; I would sacrifice a million moments to him and suffer unlimited heartbreak if he demanded it.
My hand finds its home against his cheek, my thumb brushing that inch of skin where his dimple comes out to play when he smiles so sweetly.
“Don’t look at me like that,” he says.
I cock my head in question.“Like what?”
