Wait—what? I stare for a moment, dumbfounded. And as he goes to shut the door again, I throw a hand out, stopping it.
“Wait!” At the sound of my plea, he startles, and I’m just now realizing that this man looks like he’s seeing an alien. He looks more out of sorts than I feel. “I think there is a misunderstanding.I’mElijah.”
“Uh.” Rowan looks around for a moment, peering over me to my car and back behind him into his house. Eventually, those cold eyes fall back on mine. “Sure.”He does not look convinced.
I clear my throat, taking a second to gather myself. If I want this interview, I can’t stand here gawking at him all day. I have to work around these incessant feelings and talk to him like a normal fucking person.
“I work for theFort Myers Post,” I start, watching his eyes narrow slightly. “I’m here to ask you if you’d participate in an interview covering your recent national win.”
“Oh.” As realization dawns on him, Rowan becomes even more closed off, closing the door another inch. “No, thank you. I’m very busy.”
“You don’t have ten minutes?”
“No.” His voice is stern, cutthroat. Andfuck, if I don’t want to topple him off that high horse. Nothing gets me off more than conquering a dominant man.
“Well,” I give him a bright smile, watching as his eyes widen slightly. God, he’s so hot. “Then I’ll be back tomorrow to check again.” I watch the horror flash across his features, the panic settling in.
“Hold on, I don’t–”
“I look forward to seeing you again, Rowan.”
“I…” He says nothing else, as if he cannot find the words. So I turn around and head to my car.
This is fine. I’ll spend however long it takes, slowly wearing this man down. It’s a perk for me anyway. The longer he stalls, the longer I get to be around him.
And my body has never reacted this way to anyone else before. It’s intoxicating. As if I’ve just woken up—as if I’ve just been taught how to access my emotions.
So I’ll take the good with the bad. Even if it means that waking my body and my soul also means inviting in the worst that the two have to offer: uncontrollable desire and inconsolable sorrow.
Chapter Five
Rowan
The house is crowded, disgustingly so—sweaty bodies grinding together and the stench of hard liquor wafting through the air. I can’t make out any of the faces around me. They’re all voices, limbs, and movement.
A girl is talking in my ear, familiar and taunting. I’m holding a cup that I sip from intermittently, but I can feel my own disinterest. I’m bored; something is bothering me.
I’m trying to pinpoint it, this unwelcome feeling. Is it the noise? The people? The way that I can’t seem to fully focus on any one thing? Maybe I’m wasted, or maybe I’m not really here at all.
And suddenly, my attention is being snagged, drawn to movement across the room, and I see him—or Ifeelhim.
I can feel with everything in me that this boy is mine. Or he should be, yet I know he’s not.Yet.
Benjamin is leaning against a table, talking with a girl I cannot sort out a single detail of.
“She had to have said something downright filthy…” the voice in my ear murmurs, fading away with each passing second. I cansee his hands lingering on her hips, I can see him standing and taking her hand.
If Benjamin is meant to be mine, where is he going? Why is he leaving withher? Rage, jealousy, sadness—they all soar through me at once as I watch them head toward a set of stairs that are nestled into the back corner of the room.
As if I’m in a simulation, the house unfolds before me the further I immerse myself in it. Halfway to the second story, Benjamin pauses, and he turns to me. I can feel the weight of his gaze, the green flecks in his eyes, and the curve of his lips.He’s daring me; he’s telling me to come and get him. I know it.
I find myself following them upstairs, pushing through faceless, meaningless people. Someone tries to stop me, but I ignore them—I don’t have the time.
I’m searching with a renewed sense of urgency—I have to stop them before she touches him.I have to. I can hear her soft panting, her gentle moans, and I know with everything in me that his hands are bringing those sounds from her lips.
They’re the same sounds he pulled from me.
I slam my fists against the door, and every second that I have to wait outside of its blockade, I grow more and more tense. Angry. Scared. I stew in it, letting it spur me on. So, as Benjamin finally opens the door, aura radiating hatred and irritation, I find it easy to shove him back and force my way inside.
