“Yes. The fall festival is kicking off this Friday. Would you like to go with me?”
Oh, right. I had completely forgotten about the fall festival coming up. The whole town of Fort Myers is excited about it—outside of Rowan—and they’ve already started selling tickets.
But going with Bennett? Especially so soon after things crashed and burned with Rowan? I don’t know… it feels awkward and maybe a bit wrong in some ways.
“Letting him get to you? What did he say? Don’t let him drive a wedge between us, Eli.”
Rowan clearly does not like Bennett, and I fear that if he would consider me seeing another man a betrayal, he would consider me seeing Bennett Hendrick straight-up deception.
But why would that matter to me? I’m not the one who was stalking him or comparing the feel of his body to another man.
I wasn’t placing him in my detailed fantasies or continuously lying to him. I’m not the creep who ruined everything.
At this thought, I feel guilt, and that in itself makes me angry.
“As like, a date?” I clarify.
Bennett chuckles. “Yeah, Eli, like a date. You couldn’t have been oblivious to my flirting this whole time. I’m very obvious.”
That much is true. He has always been upfront with his wanting me, and I was pretty quick to return the banter in the beginning. And Bennettisbeautiful.
He may not be Rowan-level attractive, but he’s definitely up there.
I deserve this, right? I’m not betraying anyone, and I’m certainly not deceiving Rowan when I’ve told him I’m done with him. Plus, wasn’t I just saying I need to move on?
I’m pretty sure it was some famous pop star who said the fastest way to get over someone is to get under someone else.
Or maybe it was one of my sisters, I’m not sure.
“Okay,” I decide. “Sure. I’ll meet you at the entrance on Friday, then. What time?”
Bennett beams at me, leaning forward in his seat. “Does 4:30 p.m. sound okay?”
“Yeah, sounds great.” An awkward silence falls over us, so I clear my throat. “Mind getting Kandi so I can pay? I want to go home and sleep this day away.”
Bennett nods enthusiastically, patting my shoulder as he moves away to find my waitress.
“Of course. See you soon, Eli.”
I spend the next few days doing my best to forget about Rowan and avoiding any questions from John or Bennett whenever I see them. Both are curious, but I refuse to answer directly.
I can’t—not while I’m this torn up.
Any time I’m alone, I recall the way he smells or the sound of his breathing. When I lie in bed, I see him there, peacefully sleeping next to me. I spend a ridiculous amount of time jacking off in the shower to memories of him touching me and cryinginto mugs of hot chocolate as I try to dispel this ache that lives and breathes inside of me.
All that to say, I’m still fucking miserable. I’m not sure how fast time is supposed to work its magic, but it has yet to heal all. Or any, really. I feel just as fucked up as I did on Monday when I ran from his house.
The only upside is that aside from a few random calls, I haven’t heard from or seen Rowan. He hasn’t tried to hunt me down or send me any unsolicited text messages. I guess he really is scared of jail time.
So why is some small part of me disappointed that he hasn’t broken down my front door, demanding that I see him?
It’s probably because I crave seeing him in general, no matter the context. But evenIcan see when something isn’t right—and being stalked and lied to is definitely a red flag. No amount of flawless sex or warm, homey feelings is going to change that.
I do wonder, though, if he genuinely believes all that crazy shit about us being in love before. He seemed to. Thinking back to how he was when I left him, he seemed completely distraught and broken.
As if he were losing something far more important than himself or the new relationship we had built.
And if he really does believe it, I guess that makes him crazier than I originally thought him to be.
