As if something has always been missing, and now it’s come back to me. Pieces of myself and of my life are falling into place, and I owe a lot of this feeling of wholeness to Rowan. I think Carrie was right—love at first sight.
I’m falling, and I’m falling fast. Between his gentle kindness and the personality that I was so blind to before, I am completely enthralled by him.
Add on that Rowan seems to be a fucking sex god, and he’s perfect. Just so insanely perfect that I honestly find myself a little scared.
Scared of what shoe might drop, of what could be hiding in his metaphorical closet. But mostly, I’m terrified of what will happen to me if I no longer have him. How will I survive that? How am I meant to go back to a life of nothing?
I am unsure how I was ever truly content with that before. Was I ever really?
I choose not to dwell on it too much, otherwise I spiral into a paralyzing anxiety that suffocates me. So instead, I continue with my life as if there is no way we will ever be separated.
Like this morning, for example. We probably won’t see each other for another two days, and that’s okay. I will make it okay, so as not to seem too needy. He’s a busy man, after all.
I get ready for work, and I make my way into town, heading to Tabitha’s Place first to grab take-out coffees and muffins.
As I enter, the bell above me jingles loudly, and Bennett looks up from the paper he’s reading at one of the tables in the center of the large room.
“Eli!” he greets, jumping up from his chair. I haven’t seen him since Monday night either, but I hold no grudge toward his actions.
Bennett feels possessive of me for whatever reason, and soon he will have to learn how to let me go. As long as he doesn’t outwardly disrespect Rowan, I have no issues with him. He is nice, after all.
“Good morning, Bennett,” I respond, offering him a kind smile as he approaches me. “Could I bother you for two coffees and two muffins to go?”
“Of course.” He grins, guiding me once again to the drink station. This time, there are no precariously placed knives to shy away from. “For you and John, I presume?”
“Yep. Another busy morning.”
Bennett nods casually, pouring coffee into two paper cups before capping them and setting them on the table next to me. Then he grabs a brown paper bag and begins to place two muffins inside it.
“Journalism never stops, I take it?” he asks.
“No,” I chuckle. “There is always something to talk about. How much do I owe you? And no freebies this time—I feel indebted enough as it is.”
Bennett turns to a POS system nearby and types my order into it.“If you insist, it’s sixteen dollars and seventy-eight cents.”
I hand him a twenty-dollar bill.
“Keep the change. Thanks!” I begin to pile my things into my arms, but Bennett speaks again.
“Hey, Elijah.” He sounds nervous, and when I turn back to face him with my coffee and muffins balanced in my hands, he grimaces. “How are things with… with Rowan?”
My brow furrows as I stare back at him, my head tilting in question.“They’re fine. Why do you ask?”
Bennett rubs at the back of his neck, his blue eyes darting around the room as he considers his next sentence.
As he speaks again, he removes his baseball cap and runs a hand through his thick blond hair.“Well… listen, I wasn’t going to say anything, but I think I should. For your own safety.”
“Safety?” I parrot slowly, and he nods.
“Rowan isn’t the kind of man you think he is. He’s weird and obsessive. I’m concerned that he’s going to hurt you.”
Internally, I sigh. “Bennett, I’m not sure what you’re—”
“I’ve caught him stalking you,” he states bluntly.
Silence. We stare at each other as I process his words, and then a nervous laugh falls from my lips.
“S-stalking? What the fuck are you on about?”
