I swallowed thickly. “This is beautiful,” I whispered.
“I knew when Oliver started this whole courting thing that I wanted to give that one to whoever he chose. I have always wanted a sister. Dolphins represent friendship and loyalty, so I thought it would be a good way to start out our new relationship as sisters.”
Tears stung my eyes. “I didn’t know that, Rosie. This is such a thoughtful gift. Thank you.”
“I hope that we become good friends, Adelaide,” she said, her voice wavering.
“Me, too.” I smiled at her and opened my arms wide. Rosie took the invitation, wrapping her arms around my waist and squeezing tight.
I felt a tear slide down my cheek as I hugged her back. What Rosie didn’t know is that I too had always wanted a sibling, especially a sister. And here I was, that chance finally in front of me, and I wasn’t sure if it could happen. I should never have agreed to this arrangement with Oliver; there were so many people who stood to be hurt in this. I couldn’t do this anymore.
Oliver clapped a hand to Rosie’s shoulder as she pulled back. “Rosie, you’re the best, you know that?” He looked atme, his gaze turning from proud to worried in less than a second. He quickly pivoted back to Rosie. “Hey, don’t you have poker lessons with Gram soon?”
Rosie glanced at her watch. “Oh, shoot! I do!” She darted toward the door, skidding to a halt just before going through it. “And you know that if Mum or Dad ever ask, we don’t do poker lessons. We discuss classic literature.”
“Yeah, yeah, off you go,” Oliver chuckled, waving her off. Once she was gone, Oliver calmly closed the door, spun back toward me, and hit me with his intense steely gaze.
“Laidie, what’s wrong?” His voice was gentle, but his tone was clear: we were going to talk about whatever was going on.
The dam broke and tears poured down my face. I sobbed and sputtered, trying to form words but unable to get them out.
Oliver reached me in just a few strides, wrapping me in his arms and running a large, soothing hand up and down my spine.
“Hey, shhh. I’m here, I’m not going anywhere. Take your time,” he whispered.
I coughed, finally calming down enough to take in a shuddering breath. “I can’t do this,” I sobbed into his chest. “I can’t do this anymore, Oliver. We have to end it.”
His hand froze on my back. After a moment, he pulled back slightly, his head angled so he could see my face. “What? Why?”
Another wave of tears crested. “Because you deserve more. More than me.” I stepped out of his embrace and gestured vaguely at my body.
Oliver stepped forward, trying to close the space between us. “What are you talking about, Adelaide? I love you. You’re everything I’ve ever wanted and more.”
I mirrored his movements, stepping back to keep my distance from him. “No, I’m not. Oliver…” I choked on my tears again. “I can’t marry you because I can’t be the queen. I can’t…I can’t have children. I can’t give you what you need, produce royal heirs. My body is broken and I can’t do the one thing women have been doing since the beginning of time.I’mbroken.”
Oliver froze, staring at me in silence. I could practically see the wheels turning in his head, processing my nearly incoherent rambling. His face seemed to be made of stone, not moving a centimeter.
I continued, “I should have been honest with you from the start, and I’m so sorry I wasn’t. I honestly didn’t think things would…I didn’t think I would fall in love with you. I should have told you the truth on Christmas so you could have changed your plans and chosen someone else. I was diagnosed with polycystic ovary syndrome last fall, but I’ve been dealing with it for years. We…my doctor and I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to have kids. And now that you’re king, you’re supposed to marry someone who can give you heirs, and I don’t know if that will ever be me.” I buried my face in my hands, speaking the next words through my fingers. “I shouldn’t have waited so long to tell you, but my feelings got in the way and the next thing I knew, I’d fallen in love, not just with you but also with your family.”
Oliver’s voice was a cracked whisper. “So…you do love me?”
I raised my head, a laugh shuddering out of me at the goofy look on his face. “Yes. God, I love you so much, which is why this is so much harder. I want to give you the entire world. I want to be the best version of myself so that you can be the best version of yourself. I’ve pictured an entire life with you—what it would look like to run this countrytogether, to travel the world together, to simply do life together. I’ve pictured holidays and birthdays and all the in between. I fucking love you.” I inhaled deeply. “But you’re not just a normal guy and I’m not a normal woman and this is not a normal situation. We can’t keep going as though it’s anything but what it is: a big, fucking disaster waiting to happen.”
“Adelaide…” He ran his hands through his thick blond hair.
I let my arms fall limply to my sides. “What?”
“I love you, too.”
I pressed the heels of my hands into my eyes, wondering if there was a limit to how many tears a single human being could produce in the span of a few minutes. Surely I had reached that quota by now. “You’re not making this any easier.”
I loved this man, and I did want to spend the rest of my life with him. Pulling away from him and then eventually having to walk out of these doors would be the hardest thing I’ve ever done in my life. But I would do it for him. I would do it for his family. I would do it for this country.
Oliver stepped forward, finally closing the gap between us. He wrapped his warm, callused fingers around my wrists and gently pulled my hands away from my face. “Darling, you’re not hearing me. I love you. I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I want you by my side for all of it.”
His thumb wiped a tear from my cheek.
“I’m so sorry about your diagnosis and that you’ve been carrying this big, heavy thing all by yourself. I want to hear more about that when you’re ready to tell me, but if you think that’s a reason why we can’t or shouldn’t be together, you are greatly mistaken.
