“Thanks,” I answered breathlessly, unsure of why I missed the feel of his arms around me so much.
“So. Is there like a special class on ’80s music or something that royals take?” I asked, bumping Oliver’s arm with my shoulder as he walked me home, his bodyguards trailing behind us close enough to watch us but far enough not to overhear our conversation. “Where did that bit of knowledge come from?”
Oliver blushed, running his hand through his short-cut blond hair. “As a kid, I didn’t have a lot of choices when it came to extracurriculars. As royals, we were required to take different languages, play an instrument, you know—the classic type of things.” He tucked his hands inside his jacket pockets. “Xavier obviously had to take more classes and lessons on state affairs and such, so in my free time, I found things thatIenjoyed. I love ’80s music, but hair bands were a particular interest. I play guitar and pretty much exclusively play hair metal when I’m alone.” He shrugged, giving me a boyish grin.
My cheeks nearly hurt from the wide smile that spread across my face. I couldn’t think of the last time I had laughed and smiled so much in one evening.
“Really?” I asked incredulously.That explains the calluses on his fingers.
“Yeah, I know, it’s weird,” he said, the flush on his cheeks deepening.
“No, that’s not…I was just thinking that you’re not at all who I thought you’d be.” The words slipped out before I could reel them back in. Now it was my turn to blush.I should not have had that last pint of cider.
“Oh, is that so?”
“I just mean—” I stopped, taking a breath as I faced him. We were a few steps from my place. I continued in a rush, “We’ve known each other since we were kids, right? But like…I guess I never reallyknewyou. I saw how Xavier actedand you never really spoke up when Renata Raines would make fun of me, and I just kind of assumed that you were like your brother and most of the other high-born kids.” I shoved my hands in my coat pockets and stared at the pavement, wondering if the ground would open up and swallow me whole if I simply wished hard enough.
I felt Oliver’s hand on my upper arm. “Adelaide, I’m so sorry that I never stepped in and stopped them,” he said gently. I made myself meet his gaze. “I was a stupid kid and still learning how to use my status for good. It’s not a very good excuse, but I need you to know that I’ve been thinking a lot about it these past few weeks and I can’t apologize enough for my childhood inaction. I wish I could go back and do better, but all I can do now is be better moving forward.”
I shook my head, playing with my keys in my pocket. “No,I’msorry. I shouldn’t have made assumptions. I mean, I’m not the same person I was in primary school; it wasn’t fair of me to think you wouldn’t have changed, either.”
“Maybe we can start over.” Oliver let go of my arm, bringing his right hand up as he smiled broadly at me, his silvery-gray eyes sparkling. “Hi, I’m Oliver. Part-time prince, full-time hair band enthusiast, and hopeless at the Spanish subjunctive.”
I laughed as I took his hand, warmth spreading through me despite the chilly weather. “Nice to meet you, Oliver. I’m Adelaide. Current tutor, future teacher, and lover of bubble baths.”
“It’s a pleasure, Adelaide,” he said as he walked me to my door. “And for the record, I wasn’t exaggerating earlier. You’re far too good for anyone who doesn’t treat you the way you deserve.”
Spring was slowly starting to come to life in Wexstone as March came to an end, but the wind was still cold, especially in the evenings. I pulled my scarf up around my neck and wrapped my cognac wool coat tightly around my body.
If Theo and I had still been together, I would have been on a plane to Seychelles right now, ready to spend spring break laying on white sand beaches and sipping Mai Tais. Instead, I was navigating icy sidewalks and spending my week lost in fantasy romances between picking up extra work hours helping the professors who remained on campus.
I had expected it to hurt more when I had heard that Theo had already lined up another girl to take on vacation with him. But I mostly felt relief that I would never again be the one under his mother’s scrutiny or have to pretend to laugh at his friends’ jokes.
I had spent no small amount of time over the past few weeks examining what had made me spend so long in what I could now so clearly see was an unhealthy relationship.It made me think of when we had studied pointillism in an art history class my first semester at RCW and how you could only see the image perfectly when you were several paces away. It had taken getting out of the relationship for me to see things with clarity. I knew now what I deserved and what I was—and was not—willing to put up with in a future partnership.
I passed the bar where I had played trivia with Oliver and his friends after the breakup, pausing on the memory of the way his bicep had flexed when he brought his beer to his full lips. The corner of my mouth tipped upward as I remembered the warmth of his brief hug after we won and the spark that had danced up my arm at the end of the evening when he grasped my hand.
I shook my head.Nope. Stop that. He’s one of your students. We don’t go there.
But it was hard to ignore the fact that hanging out with him was the most fun I’d had in a long time. We hadn’t spent any time with each other outside of our regularly scheduled sessions since then, though we had reworked our schedule so Oliver could go back to trivia on Tuesdays, and he had made it clear that I had an open invitation to join them anytime. I kept finding other things to do on Tuesday evenings, despite my desire to say “fuck it” and give in to the attraction I felt toward him.
He is aprincefor God’s sake. There is not a reality in which the two of you actually date. Just put all of this right out of your mind, Adelaide, I chided myself.
I opened the red Dutch door of Whispering Words and hurried inside to escape the chill. The smell of leatherbound books and crisp, printed pages hit my nose, and I delighted in the emotional and physical warmth of the bookstore. This little shop was a balm to my soul. Bookswere one of my greatest pleasures, but this shop also gave me a place to come when the rest of the world felt too loud.
“Good evening, Enid!” I waved to the owner, a woman in her late fifties, behind the counter.
“Adelaide! How are you? Looking for anything in particular tonight?”
“There are two fantasy romances I’ve had my eye on, but we’ll see where the night takes me.” I circled the table at the front of the store that held all the new releases.
“Sounds great. Let me know if you can’t find what you’re looking for.”
“I definitely will. Thank you.”
Starting my way down one aisle, I skimmed the shelves to see if anything caught my eye. Before I knew it, I was halfway down the fourth aisle and already had five books stacked in my arms.
Oops.
