I wanted to crawl into a hole and hide from them all.
Knox pulled through the wrought-iron gates and up the slope of the driveway. My heart sank deeper into my chest. This was it; after I got out of this car, things would go back to the way they were before, except I could no longer allow myself to imagine anything with Knox. There could be no more lingering stares, no more quiet conversations alone with him, no more being kissed in all the right places, nothing.
The truck came to a stop in front of the manor.
“Birdie,” he whispered.
“Thank you for the ride back.”
“Birdie,” he said, looking at me with pleading eyes.
“I’ve got to get inside. Sam is waiting.” I opened the door. “Bye, Knox.”
I walked up the front steps, pushing down every emotion that was trying to claw its way up my throat and out through my eyes. I thought back to the thousands of times I had watchedFrozenwith Ellie and tried to channel Elsa: “Conceal, don’t feel.”
I opened the front door and shut it behind me, not allowing myself to look back at the truck.
I leaned my back against the thick wooden door, trying tocompose myself and fight the overwhelming emotions running through my veins.
“Birdie!” Sam bounded around the corner and into the foyer. She wrapped her arms around me, giving me the deepest embrace.
“Sammy!” I said, fully enveloping her in my arms. This was exactly what I needed. I needed my best friend there with me to sift through the hole that I had dug for myself.
“I seriously didn’t think that I was going to make it here. I was stuck in Germany for a good while because of that snowstorm.”
“I can’t believe that you didn’t tell me you were coming early!”
“Vince and I wanted it to be a surprise. So, surprise!”
I let a smile wash over my face. The last six weeks had been full of surprises, yet this was one of the best to date.
“Let’s take your stuff up to my room and I can show you around. You’re bunking with me tonight. We have so much to catch up on.”
“Sounds great. I can’t wait to hear all about the competition and your budding relationship with Prince Oliver,” she said, wiggling her eyebrows suggestively.
Or I could tell you about how I had the best sex of my life last night with his best friend.
“This way.” I started walking up the stairs.
“You had sex with Knox?!” Sam squealed.
“Lower your fucking voice, Samantha!” I ran to her and clamped my hand over her mouth. “If Vince hears you, he will flip a lid, and the staff around here gossip more than high schoolgirls.”
“Tell me everything,” she said, her big brown eyes wide with excitement even though her words were muffled from my hand covering her lips.
I lowered my hand and sat on the end of the bed. After a moment, words started spilling out, sparing no detail of the past few weeks. As I finished, I sucked in a deep breath, holding it for a moment before I let it out.
“Wow. Knox is totally in love with you.”
“No, he’s not!” I protested. “He’s just a nice guy.”
“Birdie, I’ve slept with some really nice people and none of them have ever walked through a blizzard to make me breakfast. They’ve DoorDashed me coffee at best.”
I snorted a laugh in spite of the hurricane of thoughts and emotions swirling through my head.
“So, what are you going to do?” she prodded gently.
“I’m going to pretend this never happened. I’m not supposed to be here for him. I’m here for Oliver. I can’t betray him or Vince any more than I already have. I’m going to keep going with this competition. If Oliver chooses someone else, great; I’ll go back home. If he chooses me, then I’ll tell him, and we’ll move on from there.”
