“I think we have plans.”I imagined picking up with Christopher where we’d left off last night and this morning.
“You’ll have plans,”she said.“That gorgeous man couldn’t take his eyes off you. I’m surprised you’re on your own right now.”
I smiled as I read her messages.
“We’ll be there next week.”It felt good to say that. They might hope I could talk by then, but I already had the story about stress. I wouldn’t let them drift away again. My family was too important to ignore. That was another mistake I could fix.
My sister sent an emoji with heart eyes and flames on either side.
“Am I that bad?”
“Worse. You two are repulsive and cute together. I like seeing you smile.”
Twenty minutes later, Christopher returned without Brandon. His jaw was clenched, and he looked subdued, without his usual energy. Their talk must not have been productive. I smiled at Paul and left with a wave, following Christopher to the car when he didn’t speak.
“Are you going to tell me?”
He didn’t look at his phone when it chimed. He seldom ignored me. My forehead tightened and bunched up. He backed out of the lot and drove twenty minutes back toward town without talking. He pulled into a lot by a park. We weren’t going for tea. A hard lump formed in the pit of my stomach. This park was familiar, only a few blocks from my house. It had walking trails and a pond. We sat overlooking the water while I waited for him to break the silence. The gulf between us grew wider and wider.
“Brandon was excited that I came today. He wanted to show me something. Something for you.”
He paused, waiting, perhaps searching for the right words.
“He has an engagement ring on his desk,” he said. “In a blue box.”
I covered my mouth, choking on my horror.
Christopher continued with no expression in his voice.
“He said when this project settles down, he’ll find you and beg for forgiveness. He’s just too busy for a girlfriend right now. He wants to do better. He loves how undemanding you are, how little you need.”
His words punched me in the gut. I struggled to breathe, the air stifling.
“I don’t want that kind of relationship.Brandon and I are through.”
He didn’t look at my messages. I wanted to speak to Christopher. To tell him not to do this. I sensed what was coming. His words created a feeling of inevitability, the undertow of his revelations dragging us under.
“That’s not love.”
I tried to protest aloud, but my words jammed in my thickened throat, as though barricaded behind a dam. I was still voiceless.
Christopher shut me out. Though he could read minds, he wasn’t listening. Perhaps he needed to say this without interruption.
“When I asked how that would change later, Brandon said you wouldn’t mind. That you were so self-contained that you’d barely notice his absence.”
His voice cracked at the end.
Christopher knew that wasn’t true. I wasn’t self-contained on purpose. That was a self-defense mechanism. I’d feared getting hurt if I let someone close. All my life, even before Eric, I’d kept people at a distance. Brandon and I kept each other at arm’s length. We hadn’t been close or intimate. I hadn’t always seen it, but now it was clear. I fit a certain profile that checked the boxes for a wife: intelligent, educated, and independent. Once I might have thought that would be enough, but it wasn’t. I wanted friendship and heat. I wanted Christopher.
Tears threatened. I didn’t want to let them fall in front of Christopher. I wanted to be brave, but they overwhelmed me and scorched trails down my cheeks.
“Point blank I asked if he loved you.”
Christopher’s voice quavered as he fought for control. “He gave me a strange look and said, ‘Of course. She’s what anyone would want in a wife, and besides, she gets me.’”
He paused, but there was more.
“He was so excited about getting engaged. I’ve never seen him like that before.”
