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Nate
Cap, u up?
Jaime
This better be about sex and not another existential spiral
Nate
She came so hard she went nonverbal
Then put her pants back on like it was a crime scene
And walked out without a single fucking look back
Jaime
God, I love her
Are we sure she’s not mine?
Nate
Fuck off, McAllister
Jaime
She used you like a vibrator with a gym membership
Didn’t even kiss you goodnight?
Nate
Just the sound of my dignity dying in sweatpants
Jaime
Beautiful
A woman with standards and a getaway plan.
I should write her a thank-you card.
Nate
I think I’m in love
Or experiencing deep-seated trauma
Unclear
Jaime
Either way, hydrate.
And maybe stop leading with your dick.
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