Me: “I’m serious, Jackson. Leave it.”
Jackson: “Fuck that, Malibu. Talk to me.”
Me: “Pass.”
Jackson: “Holly, let me help. I’m going insane here.”
Me: “I can’t Jackson. Ok? If you heard me, then you know. I just can’t. Please.”
Jackson: “I know what it’s like. Not trusting people. Not being able to open up. But even someone like you can’t do it alone.”
Me: “Someone like me?”
Jackson: “You’ve got a tongue like a knife. But I’ve met my share of monsters. You aren’t one. And you didn’t deserve that, Malibu. I want… idk. I want to make it better. Somehow.”
I wanted so badly to reply to him, but a little piece of my heart warned me it would end badly. Even if the rest of my heart was screaming to let him in. I shut my phone off and put it in the drawer of my nightstand. Out of sight, out of mind. For now. I was better off alone. Whether he liked it or not, alone was safe. Alone was easy. So alone I would stay.
? Jackson ?
I stared at her name on my screen for a long time, my fingers curling into a fist.Someone hurt her.That’s why she’d moved? Someone had taken this…this gorgeous firestorm of a girl, and had turned her cold. Fury burned through every vein and I wanted to do something. I couldn’t sit still. But then I froze as the thought occurred to me.
If it was public record, that wasn’t wrong…right? Just information anyone could see. My jaw ached from clenching as I pulled up my search engine and typed in her name. It didn’t take long. Articles. So many goddamn articles. My throat closed as I scrolled, bile rising higher with every headline. My Malibuwasn’t the only one. That bastard had hurtothers.And they’d let him walk.
I saw his name over and over again.Scott Lauren.
My vision tunneled, rage settling into something cold and certain.
Count your days,I thought, memorizing every detail of his face on the screen.Because if the law won’t finish it, I damn sure will. One day.
Chapter Eleven
? Holly ?
“You really need to think of your future, dear.”
I blinked at the guidance counselor, biting my tongue instead of telling her any dreams of the future I’d once had had vanished the second my childhood burned down around me. When you get wrenched from the innocence of being young and dumb, when the ugliness of life throws curveballs you never saw coming…You don’t think aboutafter. You just think about thenow. How to survive. How to stop the bleeding. But she was staring at me expectantly still so I took the packet she held out to me. I thumbed through it. My transcripts, a How-To guide on writing a good admission essay, the best schools for the most popular majors.
“You are very bright, Ms. McCarthy. I understand you’ve been through quite a lot.” She hesitated and then reached over and grabbed my hand that was resting on her desk. “Don’t let the bad guys win.” I smiled thinly, thanking her for her time and all but running from the office.
Maria waited for me outside, having just completed her own guidance nightmare. She had decided after the 3D ultrasound to put a hold on college until she could get herself on her feet. Find a good place, a steady job, and be the best mom she could be. My mom was flabbergasted, insisting Maria needed to go to college, but I understood where she was coming from. And I wasn’t going to push my bestie to do something she didn’t want. It’s notlike college was going anywhere. Right this second, or ten years from now. If she wanted to get a degree, great. If not, that was fine too. And I figured the same went for me. I had no idea what I wanted to do. Once upon a time, I had dreamed of coaching other girls to dominate the stage like I once had. But the thought nearly had me vomiting now.
“Hey, have fun?”
I waved my packet at Maria, “Loads. Wanna skip last period and go grab some food?”
“Oh heck yes. Momma Laverne’s?”
“I could go for that.”
Last period was basically just a filler course—something to keep seniors occupied until prom, which was this weekend. After that, graduation. And then? Sky’s the limit. Or so the giant poster outside the counselor’s office said. Maria linked her arm through mine, leaning on me heavily. She was so pregnant I was genuinely concerned that if I poked her belly too hard, a baby would fall out. We made our way outside and I helped her slide into Sally. I tossed the useless “Preparing For Your Future” file in the back seat and headed towards our favorite spot.
Momma Laverne greeted us warmly, yelling from the kitchen in that boisterous way I had come to learn was uniquely her’s. Maria shoved herself into a booth, the only one with spacing big enough for her now. I slid across from her right as Momma came up to us with two waters.
“How are my favorite girls?”
“Hungry,” I gave her a half smile and she winked at me.
Maria rubbed her belly and said, “In between getting the shit kicked out of me, my stomach is rumbling. I could eat a horse.”
