She got out of her chair and moved to stand in front of him.“How could I possibly be doing that?”she said, putting her hands on his shoulders and going for a sweet smile he wouldn’t believe even if she meant it.
He grunted irritably.“Any word from Jill?”
Sam shook her head.“I even texted Aly to see if she’d heard anything, but it’s been radio silence ever since they told her.”
He reached out, tucked a strand of hair behind her ear.“Come with me this afternoon then.If you’re pausing that case, it shouldn’t put you behind.A little partner stakeout.”
She leaned into him, wishing she could.Wishing something could be easy and fun.“Pretty sure that turns into a distraction not a stakeout.”
“A terrible shame,” Nate replied with fake gravity that might have made her laugh in any other situation.
But Sam shook her head.“I know I said I thought it was best to leave it, but I’ve got the name of the medical examiner.I’m going to see if I can track down the police officer who should have taken the report through her.There should be a report.It’s weird that there’s not.”
It shouldn’t matter.She’d told Aly and Cal itdidn’tmatter, but here she was… “Maybe I should let it go, take that pause, but…”
“But it’s not in your nature,” he finished for her.
No, not in her nature and… “I keep thinking about Glenda saying some secrets are sacred.Maybe that’s all this is.Her protecting her son from a truth that would hurt more.But why would it hurt more?He died either way.He’sgoneeither way.It makes me think there’s more to it.”
Nate’s arm came around her easily.“Well, to use you as an example, your mother didn’t choose to die, Sam.She couldn’t help it.There was no choice.I know depression and mental illness don’t discriminate, and maybe itisn’treally a choice.But to those left behind?They always have to wonder.What they might have changed or solved, if they’d only known or seen or been there.”
She didn’t know if he was comparing his mother’s murder to Gerald’s suicide or if he was thinking of someone he’d lost to suicide, maybe from his homeless teen days or military days.She supposed it didn’t matter which.He was right.There was always something… more difficult when you wondered if you could have done something differently.Or if not more difficult, necessarily, a different kind of weight.
“I guess you’re not wrong,” she murmured, then shook off the weird feeling and weird mood because none of this was aboutherorhim.“I’ve got to run.I don’t know how long this will take, but I probably won’t be back before you leave to watch Hyatt.”
He dropped a kiss to her temple.“Okay.I’m just following him back to his place after work.Long as he goes there and stays, I should be home soon enough.”
“Text me updates.And don’t let Mrs.Hyatt crawl in your backseat and have her wicked way with you.”
He groaned.“God, I can’t wait for this shitshow to be over.”
“Which one?”Sam muttered on her way out, because it felt like a few of them at the moment.
Chapter Twenty-Six
Kalispell, Montana
The drive hadbeen long and boring.Every once in a while, Cal would manage to stumble Hayes into a decent enough conversation.They had similar taste in music, similar opinions on football and hockey—though Hayes was some kind of heathen who thought baseballboring.
When they ventured into law—something they both knew a lot about—things got tricky.
That was the problem with cops—they saw everything as black and white.No amount of dealing with grey ever changed their minds on that score.
It was also the problem withhim, because he really liked to stir people up, and Hayes with his black and white view of criminal behavior would have made it so, so,soeasy.Like taking candy from a baby.
But now wasn’t the time—something Cal had to keep reminding himself.Not if he was going to meet the stranger apparently leaving him threatening drawings.
Could it be that easy?Cal doubted it.He assumed this was just another step toward figuring out whatever the hell was going on.Swenson would have some connection to someone else who connected to someone else.Maybe in ten years they’d figure it all out.
If he didn’t wind up dead first.
He shouldprobablybe more concerned about that.
They reached Kalispell and agreed to stop at a fast-food place and get something to eat before they went into the wrestling school to try and track down Andrew Swenson.Again, they could have called.Again, it felt like forewarning would work against them.
So they sat in a grimy booth, eating pretty crappy burgers, in silence.Cal figured they were both lost in their own myriad thoughts… and was proven right when out of nowhere, Jake spoke.Andnotabout Mr.Everly, or hunting accidents, or death.
“So tell me something, Bennet.You really believe this bullshit that your brother ran away for fifteen years, comes back and is nothing but a perfect war hero?”
