It was history almost repeating, yet instead of her cousin forcing her into a match, she had snared herself. Helped along a little by Colin’s terrace declaration, though hehadprobably only thought of protecting her virtue and her honor.
“You should not have done it,” she said, her throat tightening. “You have condemned me to a loveless marriage that I neveragreed to. You have denied me any opportunity for children or… true affection. You have taken my choice from me.”
“And I am certain it’s better than the alternative,” he replied, almost softly, as his hand came up to touch her face. “Ye’ll get used to it. It won’t be any different from how things were.”
She smacked his hand away and grabbed for the handle of her chamber door as she shot a hard look at him. Couldn’t he understand that that was not what she wanted to hear? She didn’t want things to be as they were before, when she was a widow with no hope of finding romantic happiness. She wantedthismarriage to mean something, but she knew she was alone in that belief.
As soon as she married him, she would just be a widowwitha husband living.
“Very well, but do not be surprised if the blankets and curtains return to divide this house.” She stepped into her room. “If this is a marriage of convenience, then I shall do what is convenient. I shall stick to my domain and my locked doors. Indeed, like before you darkened the doorstep of this house, I shall pretend you do not exist at all.”
With that, she slammed the door in his face… and tried very hard not to cry as she soon heard his footsteps retreating.
Jeremyhadfollowed Anna with the intention of smoothing things over and ensuring it did not become a problem later, but even he knew he had only made things worse. The hurt in her eyes stung the most as he descended the stairs to rejoin a party that he had no interest in continuing, the distant sound of celebrations like a blade to his ears.
Do I deserve nay respect for protecting her?He remained certain that he had done the right thing, and that she might see it eventually, but, for now, it all felt horribly wrong. Not least because he had gone against his own promise to never marry anyone, care for anyone, or be important to anyone.
Still, it couldn’t be undone now, not unless Anna decided to flee in the night. Even then, he would probably just chase after her and bring her back to keep her safe, even if she didn’t want his protection. It was much the same as saving Douglas from the fire the first time, despite his protests; only, with her, he would not allow her to rush back into the inferno.
“Is all well?” a familiar, not altogether welcome, voice asked. “You have been gone a long while, in search of that bottle of champagne… and I doubt you will find it upstairs.”
Colin stepped out of the hallway leading to the drawing room, his face showing signs of anxiety. At the same time, the butler emerged from the opposite hallway, saw the two gentlemen,and hurriedly retreated, as if sensing this might lead to an uncomfortable encounter.
Jeremy quickened his descent and strode up to Colin, resisting the urge to grab the man by his collar. “Why did ye do that, eh? Why did ye call out like that? Was it ye that gathered everyone onto the terrace?”
Colin put his hands up in a gesture of seemingly genuine contrition. “The whispering had already begun, Your Grace, and people were gathering of their own accord, trying to see what was happening.” He sipped a nervous breath. “But… I admit, I saw the opportunity.”
“Opportunity?” Jeremy snarled. “To do what?”
Colin gulped. “To bring you together and to ensure Her Grace’s honor remained intact, in one fell swoop.” He paused, wincing as if anticipating a punch. “I knew you would never admit that you wanted her for yourself. And I knew she would not admit it either. Nevertheless, I believe you are exactly what the other needs… and that is why I meddled.”
Jeremy took a deep breath and folded his arms behind his back so he wouldn’t be tempted to hit Colin anyway. “She won’t be happy, Belford… but then, the situation wouldn’t be any better if ye hadn’t intervened. I dread to think what they would have said about her, whereas I would probably emerge unscathed.” He laughed bitterly. “I am responsible for putting her in danger like that, so I can’t be too furious with ye.”
The other man seemed to relax slightly. “You might be surprised about how things turn out. There is affection there, I am convinced of it, so why should you not both be happy?”
“Because I can never be what she wants,” Jeremy replied, suddenly weary to his bones. “I can’t give her anything a husband should… and it will break her eventually.”
As she had said herself, he had condemned her to a loveless marriage, devoid of children or the affection she deserved. He had condemned her to the kind of marriage no woman would be satisfied with, and he could not help but feel like he was no better than his predecessor.
CHAPTER 24
The tapestries didn’t return to the hallways of Stonebridge Manor, but the separation was as tangible as any rope or curtain.
For an entire week, Jeremy searched for Anna wherever he went. He looked for her in the meadows and woodlands on his morning rides; he spent hours in the barn with Sprightly in the hope of running into his bride; he attended every meal with the guests he had grown tired of, in the event that she might decide to be civil; and he paused outside her door each night, just in case she finally unlocked it to allow him entry.
“Mr. Miller?” Jeremy called out as he came in from one such morning ride, his hair damp from the mist that shrouded the landscape.
The butler was in the entrance hall, putting fresh white flowers into a vase. Simple decorations for the wedding that no one involved was looking forward to.
Paul Miller glanced at Jeremy. “Yes, Your Grace? Is there something I can do for you?”
Jeremy hadn’t really engaged the services of the staff who didn’t ‘belong’ to him, for he did not trust those who were not loyal to him. Mr. Miller was Anna’s butler. And Jeremy was desperate for information.
“Has Her Grace been out of her rooms at all this past week?” he asked bluntly. “I haven’t seen her in the gardens, as usual, or out with the goats.”
The butler straightened his posture. “My sister has been tending to all of Her Grace’s usual pursuits.”
“Yer sister?” Jeremy frowned. “Katherine, isn’t it?”
