CHAPTER 18
Ishall show him that I am not so easily bewitched. I shall show him that I cannot, will not, be tempted again by his… rugged wiles.
Anna stalked through the manor with her traitorous hands curled into fists at her sides, her breath still unsteady after what had just happened, her lips still tingling with the fire of Jeremy’s kiss, her entirebodystill tingling after that thing he had begun to do with his thumb.
She had never felt anything like it, for her whole being seemed to light up from within, like a lightning bolt had struck her and coursed through every vein and nerve. It was otherworldly, as if something was taking control of her body in the best way, and she did not know how far she would have gone if not for the careful interruption.
Then again, if I ruined myself with him, no other man would have me.She considered the possibilities. It would be the simplest way to dispense with the ‘get married and get out’problem. And he was not married himself, which was more of a relief than she cared to let on.
“No… no, no, no… you cannot!” she hissed to herself, her mind awash with confusion and pent-up frustrations that now needed to be poured into something else.
It would be worse. If you let that man… fox you into his bed, it would be worse afterward.A shudder ran through her, and not the pleasant kind she had just savored in her study. How could she possibly stay in the same household with him, under the same roof, if she were to give in to him? It was not as if he would make her his duchess, and she would not be anyone’s mistress.
No, she needed to guard her honor and her dignity, or risk losing everything. Not just her home, not just her comfort, not just her peace, but everything that was still hers.
“He has taken quite enough already,” she muttered, so furious, so dazed, that she did not see Katherine and Paul coming around the corner until she walked right into them.
The butler reached out to steady her as Katherine cried out, “Oh, Your Grace, be careful!”
Anna likely should have been embarrassed, but there was no room for it with so many other things buzzing around in her head. Still, there was room in her mind for an idea. An idea that began to grow as she looked into the worried eyes of her closest acquaintances here at Stonebridge: her butler and her lady’s maid, her peacekeeper and her confidante, the brother and sisterwho had been her loyal friends since she arrived at this place, who had accepted her and welcomed her long before the rest of the staff.
“I need cloth. Lots of it,” Anna blurted out. “Sheets, curtains, coverlets, that sort of thing. And I need you both to help me, along with anyone else you can gather at short notice.”
Mr. Miller raised an eyebrow, his hand still resting on her arm. “Are you… moving chambers, Your Grace? Redecorating?”
“Something like that,” Anna replied with a smile.
“Can I play with him whenever I want?” Sophie asked, her lip quivering as if Jeremy’s next answer could tip the scales between contentment and a tantrum.
The gray-and-white goat butted the fence, bleating his own protest about being separated from his new best friend.
Jeremy scooped the girl up into his arms and smoothed the messy tendrils of hair from her face. “Aye, if yer mother says ye can. I don’t want to be making her cross, lassie.”
Beatrice had not come into the barn, but she had made it clear that she did not approve of her daughter rabble-rousing with the goats. She had left Sophie in her uncle’s care and wandered off to the paddocks where the horses were grazing, no doubt to havesome peace with Douglas’ beloved horses. Gentle giants who had adored Douglas, just as good for pulling carriages as they were for riding through the glens and up the mountains.
A few minutes ago, however, Beatrice returned to insist that Sophie come inside to rest.
“Mama is always cross,” Sophie said quietly, as Jeremy half-dangled her over the fence so she could reach down and have one last scratch of Sprightly’s head.
“She is?” Jeremy’s heart twinged.
He had lost enough people to know the twists and turns of grief, the pain and regret and anger that could bubble to the surface. Even now, the questions about his brother ran rampant in his mind.
Could I have done more? If I had done this differently, could I have saved him? If I hadn’t fallen asleep in the stables, could I have stopped the fire? If me mare had waited a few more days to foal, could I have prevented all this? Could I have gotten everyone out?
His was a silent torment, but it affected each person differently. Beatrice’s was louder, more likely to spill into other areas of her life.
Sophie nodded, her little arms looping around Jeremy’s neck as he lifted her away from the goat. “She is… snappy. She keepstelling me off. And she shouted at Nana.” She rested her head on her uncle’s shoulder. “Then, we came here.”
“She was angry with yer grandma?”
“Angry… then sad.”
So, that’s why ye both arrived earlier than expected.He could well imagine what might have happened. Beatrice was a widow with a daughter and no heir, husbandless and now without the title or fortune that would have made their lives comfortable. Beatrice’s mother must have mentioned remarrying for it to warrant such a reaction.
Jeremy held the girl tighter. “I know with all me heart that she’s not angry with ye, lassie. Never angry with ye. So, ye just remember that while yer ma is getting better again. She might say things she doesn’t mean, but ye’re to ignore it.”
“Is she sick?” Sophie peered up at him with sudden concern.
