“It’s done, Sage. Nothing I can do now.”
“Whatever,” she mutters, returning to her croissant. “But if I get attacked in the middle of the street by an angry pregnant lady, you’re paying the hospital bills.”
We approach a red light, and I let my gaze float to the red minivan idling beside me.
The windows are rolled down, and I can hear bits and pieces of the cartoon playing on the built-in screens from the back seats. My gut twists as I study the three little boys. They can’t be more than a year apart from each other. Two in car seats. One without. All red-haired and laughing. The youngest of the three meets my longing stare, and he smiles. A smile so innocent and raw that it hurts to look away.
“And that’s what you walked away from…” Sage's voice trails off.
I snap my livid gaze at her. “Don’t.”
“I didn’t say anything.”
“I’m serious, Sage. I’m not in the mood.”
She shrugs. “I said nothing.”
“Listen, I don’t need you to understand, okay?” I aggressively point to the minivan. “Do you see how many adults are in that vehicle? Two. There’s a momand there’s a dad. Two people, Sage. There’s only room for two parents. You know why? Because adding a third is dangerous. Adding a third can cause problems. A third person could ruin everything.”
Sage blinks. “I’m pretty sure they make trucks with a middle seat.”
My knuckles whiten around the steering wheel. “You know what I mean.”
I’m tired. I’m so fucking tired of explaining myself. No one understands. No one understands that fear is stronger than love. No one will admit it, but it’s true. And it’s fear that’s dictating my actions, my words, my thoughts.
It’s always been fear. I’ve accepted that. I’ve come to terms with the fact I will never beat fear, that I will never be its conqueror. I’ve thrown the white flag. I’ve admitted defeat. It’s over and done. She’s safe now. She will always be safe. And that’s what matters the most. That matters more than my pain, than my regret, than my broken heart.
“It’s green.” Sage nods at the lights. “Maybe if you removed your head out your ass, you’d notice it.”
My nostrils flare. “You are a horrible driving companion.”
She chortles. “You’re the one who offered me a ride. I didn’t ask.”
“It would’ve cost you hundreds in cab fare. Plus, you needed the company.”
“Ineeded the company?” She tilts her head. “I suppose that’s also why you insisted on taking me grocery shopping the other day. Why you attended mynephew's preschool graduation? Why you randomly show up at my house with bagels? BecauseIneed company?”
My tone doesn’t waver. “Moira is away for two months, so yes, you need the company.”
She snorts. “Right. Well, thank you, Damon, truly. I don’t know what I would do withoutyourcompany.”
I clear my throat. “You are welcome.”
A ghost of a smile clips her lips. “You’re such a dork, you know that?”
I roll my eyes. “Eat your croissant.”
Sage lifts the croissant to her lips, about to take another bite, when multiple tires screech.
I jolt, slamming on the brakes.
My pulse hammers as the cars ahead of us come to an abrupt stop.
I glance around frantically, squinting into the distance. Immediately, my heart drops to my stomach.
Two lanes over, the red minivan is flipped over in the intersection. Smoke curls up from the hood. My chest tightens, and a wave of terror zaps through my bones.
Quin's voice echoes in my head, as clear as if he were sitting beside me.
