The raw honesty in his voice threatens my resolve. The funny thing is, his short fling with Maya didn’t bother me in the way he had planned. I didn’t wish her ill or instantly regret my choice to come here with Quin. I mostly felt bad for Maya. And for Damon. His behavior was childlike, almost innocent in its blatant intentions.
And if Damon were the only man who had a piece of my heart, I wouldn’t think twice about sliding that diamond on my ring finger. If I didn’t know what I know about his past, then it would be easy.
"Emery, I don't expect you to accept this proposal now," he says, slowly rising to his feet, the ring still held gently in his hand. "But please know that my love for you is real, and I'm willing to do whatever it takes to make amends for the pain I've caused you."
I take a deep breath, the tension in my body slowly easing. The room is silent, and for a moment, I find myself staring at the painting, the distant golden orb shining amidst the shadows.
"Emery… I'm asking for your forgiveness. I want the chance to prove to you that I can be the man you deserve. If you can find it in your heart to forgive me, I promise I won’t let you down."
In my heart. A heart that he’s given to me.
No.
I take a step closer to him, my anger subsiding, replaced by a sorrowful, aching sadness. I care for him, so deeply that I wouldn’t be able to live my life with him, knowing I’m harboring the devastating truth of his mistakes.
“We can’t be together, Damon,” I say, voice trembling with longing. “I left for a reason. That reason hasn’t changed.”
“I know,” he breathes, tone pleading. “But I promise to never lie to you again. I’ll tell you everything. Every secret, every thought. That accident, it was… It’s my biggest mistake, the darkest mark on my soul. I-I was drinking, Emery. I was so fucking wasted when I hit that cab.” His neck tenses. “The light was yellow. I swear I thought it was yellow but...” He closes his eyes, tears spilling on his cheek, into his stubble. “I was going too fast. If I had been sober, I would’ve reacted faster. I would’ve stopped. I would’ve seen what was happening in front of me. But I-I paralyzed him, Emery. I ruined his life. I…”
And this is why he can never know. He can never know he took a life.
“It doesn’t matter,” I say, forcing conviction in tone but he doesn’t buy it. “It doesn’t change anything.”
And then he’s back on the floor.
This time on both knees.
He’s not asking for anything.
He’s begging.
“Please.” He clasps his hands, and my heart fucking shatters. “Please forgive me, Emery. I need you to forgive me. I don’t have anyone left. They’re all gone. I only have you, Emery. I onlywantyou. Please forgive me. You have to forgive me.” Tears flood his eyes. “I don’t want to be alone again, Emery. Please! Please don’t leave me.”
A sharp pain radiates in the center of my chest, and I want nothing more than to kiss his tears away. With every tear that streams down his face, a fragment of this painted mask washesaway, and I finally see him. All of him. Afraid. Alone. Grieving. And vulnerable. So fucking bare.
“I can’t, Damon,” I whisper between trembling breaths. “I wish I could, but I can’t. You don’t… You don’t understand. You can’t understand. I?—”
“Don’t you love me?” he cries. “If you love me, Emery, then forgive me. Please, God, forgive me!”
“Idoforgive you,” I whisper, forcing myself to step away from his magnetic pull. “It was never about that. I forgive you, Damon. But it doesn’t matter. My forgiveness doesn’t change anything.”
“Then why, Emery? Please! Tell me why! Is it Quinton? Do you love him? Do you love him more than me? Do you choose him? Are you picking him? Just tell me. If you’re leaving me, tell me why!”
I shake my head, swallowing back sobs. “I love you both,” I whisper so quietly I’m unsure if he hears me. His glossy eyes quiver with the truth. He heard. “I can’t… I can’t do this, Damon. I…”
As the words die on my lips, I take a step back, turning away from the heart-wrenching man before me. And I run. I keep running. My hurried steps lead me away from heartache, and before I know it, I'm on the roof of the villa surrounded by a sea of stars.
I clutch the railing, my tears finally falling freely as I lean against the cool metal. The night is silent, except for the soft rustling of the trees. The stars twinkle, offering no answers, no solace.
Oh my God.
I love them.
My heart aches and cries at the realization. At the truth I so desperately wanted to avoid. I can’t hide anymore. The emotion washes over me, flooding everything in sight.
God, I love them.
I fucking love them.
