“And I’m sorry you didn’t get your happy ending.”
“I’ll be fine. I know she wouldn’t want me to be sad forever. Now, go and tell him how much he means to you. Never hold back your feelings. He’s a good guy.”
“I will.” I look at my place and think of what our future holds. “I will always tell him.”
He gives me a small smile. “Take care, brother. We have work to do tomorrow.”
The moment the door is closed, he speeds off. I don’t wait to watch him leave. I rush toward the house and go in. Ewen is all alone, cooking in the kitchen. I fucking love seeing him be domesticated for me. He glances over at me and the most amazing smile graces his face. He turns from the stove to greet me and I take him in my arms. I kiss him like he’s the air I need to breathe. Because he is, he’s the life force that’ll drive me forward until I die.
He giggles and pulls back. “Hi to you too.”
“I want to greet you every time with a kiss.”
He blushes. “I can be okay with that.”
I sit down on one of the stools at the island before I take him upstairs, or hell, right here in the kitchen. He’s cooking, which isn’t a thing he’s known for doing well, so I don’t want to mess him up. “Where’s Fi and Caleb?” I know they left not long ago, but I ask anyway to see if there was a reason.
He turns back to the stove. He’s making spaghetti again, the scent of the garlic mixed with the tomato smell tells me this. I guess it’s his staple meal. “They left about ten minutes ago. I told them to go. I don’t need a babysitter.”
“But I want them with you when I’m not.”
Ewen spins around and gives me a stern look. “I’m not a child. Yes, some bad things happened but I refuse to live my life being fearful of what could happen.”
My heart swells even more for him. He lived through something terrible. Yet he won’t let it be what defines him. My Aingeal has grown so much since I met him.
I lift my hands in surrender. “Alright, my bad, baby. I just want to make sure you’re safe, always.”
“I am safe here. You have gone above and beyond to make sure I am.”
“I have, and I won’t apologize for that.”
He huffs and plants his hands on his hips. “Which I never asked for. I appreciate it, truly. But please never make me feel smothered by your need for protection. I know the world can be terrible. But I won’t live afraid. I will decide how I want to live.”
“I promise I will never do that to you. It’ll be tough so please just tell me. I will listen.” He smiles at me and comes forward, placing a small kiss on my cheek.
“Thank you.”
I watch Ewen cook and my mind wanders to what our future will be. This time when I start down that road, I know we actually have a path together, side by side. Maybe one day he’ll wear a ring I put on his finger.
I won’t leave my family or my role with them. I won’t be the Reaper because I don’t want to risk him losing me, but I will always be part of the O’Sullivan crew.
The uncertainty doesn’t scare me. Ewen will be mine, I will be his. Until time ends and even past that. Forever.
EPILOGUE
EWEN
3 MONTHS LATER
Life has been so different yet so amazing to say the least. After everything that happened, I knew I couldn’t stay in the priesthood. Not only because I was in love but because I was meant for something different. I still had my faith, but I now had more questions than answers. Questions I never allowed merit before.
I received my official notice from my laicization last month. The new Bishop Sandoval was very kind and helpful. He questioned my reasoning when I first requested the laicization but once I said I was in love he accepted and helped with the process. I’m still ordained but I won’t be preaching in front of a congregation anymore.
Mother Helen has become a dear friend of mine. We meet once a week for Bingo. She apologized to me for being so cold. I told her I fully understood, nor did I even think she was cold. Since becoming friends, I understand her more. She’s been a nun since her teen years. Giving her life to God and the church.I never knew Bishop Wilson was corrupt. He was outed after the kidnapping as being a conspirator. He quickly left Boston. She had seen more than she ever told. When she caught me and Declan that day she thought I was just as corrupt as him, using the church for personal gain.
I decided to put all my knowledge of theology to use and am in school to get my masters. I plan to one day be a professor. I have always loved being able to talk about history and the beginning of religion. Religion and I are on loose terms with one another. I don’t agree with some of it. I don’t believe it all anymore. But I still believe in God and that He truly does love us all.
I have been working part-time at Murphy’s with Fiona. It helps me feel like I’m contributing and gets me out of the house more often.
