Nothing but the need to get to him is what propels me forward.Please be okay baby.
31
EWEN
My day was long but I’m finally able to relax. The shower helped loosen my muscles but I’m too giddy to notice. Declan is coming over later, and I’m waiting for all the dirty things he’ll do to me this evening.
I’m just lying down on my couch with a book, Beocca stretched along my legs, when a loud crash comes from downstairs. Beocca practically jumps over me he’s so startled.
I make my way through the rectory and down to the office to investigate the noise. Opening the door, I’m greeted by a sight that shatters my soul. The church is on fire. Large, angry flames consume everything. One of the ancient stained-glass windows is shattered and the flames are annihilating the beautiful history that is the church. It’s spreading—and quickly. I want to fall to my knees and weep at the destruction and loss I’m witnessing, but that will do nothing but end my life.
My brain kicks into survival mode, pushing me to run. I know no one else is here. I walked the Sisters out myself. But I need to find Beocca. I turn and run back up the stairs. There’s already smoke filling the space. Flames have begun to consume one side of my apartment, creeping along the walls and devouring everything in their path.
“Beocca!” I yell. Where is he? I will not let him perish in this inferno. The smoke is getting thicker, restricting my vision and burning my lungs. A deep cough racks my body. The rectory isn’t big but it’s proving to be next to impossible to find my cat. Rushing back into my room I drop to the floor, looking under the bed. I find him when he releases a tiny meow. I reach for him but he’s too far back. I’ve never man-handled him, but in this moment, I will to save his life. Panic takes over as I feel the heat coming for us. I have to get us out of here.
I jump up, lift the bed, and flip it across the room. It’s the only way I can think of getting to him fast enough. The smoke has consumed the room. On instinct alone I reach down and grab him, pulling him firmly into my chest. As I turn to leave all I see are flames.
No! This can’t be my end. I have so much more to live for.Declan.Panic and smoke choke me. I can’t see anything other than the glow of the flames. They’re hypnotizing, luring me into being consumed by them. What a horrible way to go. Is this God’s way of showing me that my double life, priest and sinner, has finally come due?
Think damnit! Find a way to survive!The voice in my head growls in Declan’s timbre.Think! I cradle Beocca closer to my chest, trying to shield him.THINK!
The private entrance, the one that leads to the parking lot. Can I make it to that one? I can’t see it, but I have to try. Anything to escape. Sliding along the wall, I keep myself as far away from the fire as I can. The heat is excruciating. I bump into a shelf of books and vinyl’s. With more strength than I thought possible, I shove it forward, creating a bridge towards freedom with my free arm. The fire jumps for the new thing to consume as I climb over it. The door is right there. My lungs start to revolt from the smoke. My vision blurs, and my head feels heavy. I just want to close my eyes and let this consume me.
DON’T LEAVE ME!Again, it’s Declan’s voice I hear. I can’t leave him. I CAN’T! Getting to him is what keeps me going. I shuffle along slowly, knowing the door should be here. Hot metal bumps my hip, and I cry out from the pain. The doorknob. I made it. I know I can’t touch it. It’ll burn my hand, but between death and scars, I’ll take the scars.
I’m just about to sacrifice my hand when the door next to me bursts open with a violent crash. Without thought I throw myself through the escape. Strong arms envelop me. I can’t see anything as I’m ushered down the stairwell. Once we’re outside and fresh air hits my lungs I collapse to the ground, coughing and trying to breathe. I keep Beocca cradled in my arms. On instinct alone I protected him.
“Breathe!” is yelled at me and I do. I fight through the burning sensation in my lungs and force air down. Someone removes my arms from around my cat.
I’m coughing, trying to gulp down clean air, crying, shaking. Everything is a jumbled mess in my mind.
A soothing hand rubs my back. “Just breathe for me, baby.” It’s Declan. That’s the only thing I am sure of at this moment. He’s here. I need to see him, touch him. Make sure he’s real and I didn’t die in the fire.
With whatever energy is left in my body I lift up and through blurry vision, I see him.
The flames light up behind him, giving him a fiery halo and wings of fire.
He’sallI see. My sinister angel.
32
DECLAN
Holding Ewen in my arms with the cat next to us, I pull back to inspect him for injuries. Once Ewen sees me he smiles then passes out. “Hey! We need help!” I yell and hope someone hears us. A group of firefighters come running, armed with hoses and ready to take on the fire. “Help!” Two firefighters start spraying the building while two more rush toward us.
“He was in there. He made it out, but he just passed out,” I inform them. I try to remain calm, knowing my panic doesn’t help them assess the situation. One talks into his radio and within seconds we’re joined by two paramedics pushing a gurney. They drop down next to us and start inspecting Ewen. I scoop up Murder Mittens to get him out of the way while they work on my Aingeal. I sit there, scratching the cat, consoling him as well as myself.
They put an oxygen mask over his face and take his vitals. His eyes flutter, as if he’s trying to open them but is too exhausted from the ordeal to fully come to. One of the paramedics finds a nasty burn on his hip.
Slowly he opens his eyes. He appears dazed while frantically looking around. I lean forward and let him see me. He starts to realize where he is and can tell he’s going to be okay.
“We need to take him to the hospital and have him fully examined,” a female paramedic says. I nod in agreement. When they move him to get him on their gurney, his hand shoots out for me. I grab it and squeeze, letting him know I’m there. We walk around the burning building. The structure is fully ablaze. Firefighters with hoses are dousing it, trying to prevent the spread of the flames. A large crowd of onlookers stand around and watch the destruction. Whatever caused the fire has an unforgivable desire to consume the architecture.
They’re loading Ewen into the ambulance and I step up to go with them. “You can’t bring a cat in here.” One of the paramedics stops me. I forgot I was holding him. I can’t leave the cat, but I can’t leave Ewen either. I scan the crowd, looking for someone—anyone—I can trust him with. I spot her red, chaotic curls from here. Fiona. “Wait, don’t leave yet,” I tell the paramedic and run over to her.
She sees me and I notice she’s crying. “Is—is everybody okay?”
“Yes, but I need to go with Ewen to the hospital.” I shove the cat into her arms. “Here, take care of him for Ewen please.”
