With a shake of his head, he walks out the door.
As soon as the door clicks closed, I miss his calming presence like something is lost, but I can’t quite put my finger on what exactly it is.
It doesn’t make any sense. I’m fully aware of that. I know we decided this distance is what would be best for Mav and Oliver, but I’m starting to see the cracks forming in that reasoning.
Would it really be so bad if something happened between Kane and me? Linc? Wyatt?
I slide my fingers into my hair, tugging slightly.Fuck me.This is all just… a lot.
When I walk into the kitchen, another reality smacks me in the face.The guys aren’t going to be around anymore.I mean, they’re still going to be living in Aspen Springs, but they won’t be camped out outside my house every day.
Sadness washes over me. I shouldn’t care that I’m not going to see them as much, but I do. I care a lot.
I’ve gotten to know all the club members who have been stationed here, but the friendship I have built with Linc, Wyatt, and Kane during that time is something different.
Friendship?
Maybe more?
I can try and deny it all I want, but it really feels like more than friendship… with all three of them. It’s absolutely ridiculous.
It has less to do with the fact I’ve developed feelings for three men, but rather that I have feelings in the first place. Finding someone to connect with is something I slowly let go of over the years.
It was never something I thought would happen to me, but it’s hard to ignore the feeling growing inside me that they’re all special in their own ways.
I’m beyond grateful that Leah is safer now, but I can’t fight the absence I feel knowing it will force more distance between us.
The distance is for the best. I know that on a logical level, but my heart doesn’t want to be logical right now.
CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE
Kane
The warmthfrom the coffee mug starts to defrost my chilled hands. I just came in from shoveling the few inches of snow we got last night.
I wasn’t out there for long, but with the sun barely peeking out over the mountains, it was pretty cold.
Everyone else is still asleep, so it’s just me in the living room. Being alone with my thoughts right now is kind of a recipe for disaster. They tend to have a mind of their own and travel in only one direction.
Abby.
I miss seeing her all the time. I didn’t cross paths with her every day when we were watching over Leah’s house, but it was enough for me to feel the void in my days now.
I miss those tiny moments, even if it was just a quick wave or a smile.
I glance down at my coffee, wishing it was the kind she made for me. I don’t know what kind she buys, but it was damn good.
I could ask her what it is, but I don’t know when I’ll see her again. Texting her feels like opening up Pandora’s box.
I only have so much restraint when it comes to that woman.
While I don’t miss standing outside in the increasingly cold temperatures, I feel her absence in my days like a lack of oxygen in the air.
I groan, clenching my teeth. This is so fucked.
My brain knows I need to accept that she is my friend and only my friend, but my heart hasn’t received the message yet.
There’s just something about her that is unlike any other woman I have ever been around. It feels far more natural to fall into themoreterritory with her versusfriendsterritory.
