Which means when I find Belle in the living room, I don’t give in to what she wants.
“Rowan. Be reasonable.” She’s let her hair down from the hair tie, and she’s scrubbing her hands through it, her eyes tired.
In fact, everything about my sister looks a little tired. Bags under her eyes that weren’t there before. And her body looks a little softer.
It’s been almost five years since I saw her last. Since I left in the middle of the night and said nothing to her about it. Her anger is justified.
But so were my actions.
“You have to go to the doctor,” she says, tilting her head in a way that reminds me of our mother.
“I feel fine,” I counter, taking a seat in the living room. Not relaxed, but not towering over her, either. I know the height difference between us is only going to make her angrier. “And you know the risks of me going to the doctor.”
“Rowan.” Belle circles around in front of me, putting her hands on her hips. “This is a non-negotiable.”
She’s wearing a pair of jean shorts — which are dusty, likely from her hike out to find me — and an old T-shirt from the high school we both attended.
When our parents died, Belle took over as both parents for me, and I’ll always be grateful to her for that. But at a certain point, just like real parents would, she’ll have to realize she can’t tell me what to do anymore.
“Unless you’re willing to knock me out and kidnap me, Belle, I’m not going.”
“Ugh!” She lets out a strangled scream, tipping her face up to the ceiling for a moment, then running her hands over her face before she looks back at me. “Why do you have to be so frustrating? It’s simple, Rowan — a tree falls on you, you go to the doctor. Just to make sure.”
“I’m well aware of emergency medical protocol, Belle.”
She gives me a look. “Right. Mr. Smarty-Pants. What if it was me? Would you let me not go to the doctor?”
“People aren’t going to recognize you, follow you, shove a camera in your face,” I counter, watching her as she paces in front of me. At least, I hope they aren’t.
The whole point of me leaving was to make sure my sister wouldn’t be in the line of fire anymore.
“Fine, that’s true,” she says, and something inside me relaxes. “But you didn’t do anything wrong, Rowan. It’s not fair that you should sacrifice your life?—”
“I’m not going to put you in danger, Belle.”
“People don’t care anymore.”
“Yeah, because they couldn’t find me.”
“No, because time marches on and there are a million other scandals that are a lot more interesting than what happened with you.”
“I’m not doing it.” I say this with finality, with a tone I hope doesn’t come off as petulant, but as firm. Cheese whines and sets her head on my leg.
Belle stares at me for a long time, then shakes her head, sucking in a breath. “A lot of things have changed, Rowan. I’m pissed atyou for the years you’ve wasted hiding away, but… I’m angryforyou. Do you get that? You don’t need to make this sacrifice.”
“I like it here.”
“Yeah, but I’m sure you miss yourfucking family. Elliot doesn’t get to win. Hannah doesn’t get to win. They got the company, they got off scot-free for all that shit, and I hope they’re choosing to live their lives differently. But if you just rot away up here, alone… I won’t watch it.”
I turn, staring at the fireplace, which is appropriate with the dropping temperatures up here.
This would be the perfect time to connect with Belle again. I can almost see exactly what it would be like to have my family back in my life. How I could make it work, especially if what she says is true and people don’t care anymore.
And then I remember the look of terror on her face when the first death threat came to her house. The way her fiancée had spoken in a hushed voice, wondering if they should install a security system.
I wouldn’t be the reason her life was upended.
“So don’t,” I say, knowing my voice is too hard, but not knowing how to change it. For her own safety, and for the sake ofherlife, I need to make sure Belle stays away. I’m not sure I can go through the process of finding another place to hide.
