Kyra forced a smile. From the bottom of her heart, she meant it, but she couldn’t muster the energy for a more sincere expression. Her mother seemed to understand and hurried her out the door before Kyra could properly protest. In truth, a big part of her didn’t want to protest at all. She was tired, and it wasn’t the same kind of tired she used to feel at the end of a long day on the ranch. It was a bone-deep tired that came from a lack of hope.
Back at the house, she curled up on the couch and listened to a show she’d grown up watching. She was too tired to keep her eyes open to watch it, though she had always followed her mother’s instructions to the letter. And though she was hungry, she was also too tired to make a snack or eat it. Honestly, she doubted she would even be able to hold anything down, though she was past the morning-sickness part of her pregnancy.
When Jasmine got home, she found her daughter still curled up on the couch, half asleep with the show streaming quietly in the background. Kyra wasn’t even watching it. “Kyra?” Jasmine said, shaking Kyra’s shoulder gently. “Are you awake or hypnotized?”
Kyra looked at her mother and sat up on the couch. “Sorry. I guess I’m kind of tired,” she said with a sheepish smile.
“You’re more than simply tired, honey,” Jasmine said. “You’re depressed.”
“What?” Kyra tried to laugh but failed. “No, I’m not. I don’t get depressed.”
“I know it when I see it,” Jasmine insisted. “Trust me. You’re good at denial, but you can get depressed just like the rest of us. It’s rare, but I’ve seen it before.” She tapped Kyra on the nose,which got a lackluster chuckle out of her daughter. “I’m going to whip us up some comfort food, and we’re going to spend the evening together doing whatever we want.”
Kyra sighed. “I doubt I’ll be very good company for you.”
“That’s hardly the point,” Jasmine said. “Tonight, it’s all about what kind of company I can be for you.”
They spent the evening together in the house Kyra had grown up in. She should have been comforted, but all she could think about was how this place felt so much less like home than it used to. She missed the horses, the cows, and the chicks. She missed Adam, though she shoved the thought out of her head every time she had it. She realized, with some heaviness, that the ranch had become more like home to her than both her apartment and the house she’d grown up in.
At some point, without any particular trigger, Kyra finally burst into tears. Her mother cocked her head at the television, assuming something in the show had brought it out, but the scene was a relatively uneventful one. Ever the pragmatist, Jasmine got up and brought back a box of tissues. “You’ve fought it long enough, honey,” she said. “Time to let it out.”
Kyra didn’t know how long she cried, only that it was long enough that the episode they were on had come and gone. When she finally settled down, her mother’s arms were around her, and Kyra was holding a bunch of soggy tissues balled up in her hand. Another pile of tissues was on the floor beside her. She sat back and sniffled. “Sorry,” she said to her mom. “I don’t mean to be such a bummer.”
“You aren’t a bummer,” Jasmine said, getting up to get a wastepaper basket for the tissues. “Your boss is the bummer.”
When she returned with the basket, Kyra insisted on picking up the tissues herself, however awkward it was with her new belly. “It’s not his fault,” Kyra said.
“Oh, isn’t it?” Jasmine’s eyes narrowed. “It takes two to tango, honey. This situation is as much his responsibility as it is yours, and it isn’t fair that you’re the only one feeling it.”
Kyra didn’t know how to respond to that. Part of her wanted to defend Adam, but another part of her was so grateful to have another person on her side, she didn’t dare. Finally, her sense of justice won out. “It was my decision to keep the baby.”
Her mother shrugged. “And it was his decision not to use protection. Like I said, it takes two. The difference is you’re not running from it, and I couldn’t be prouder. You, me, and this little baby are going to make the best family anyone could ever ask for. It’s a shame your baby daddy is going to miss out on all of it. He could at least call and check up on you. The fact that he hasn’t even made sure you got home safely is making my blood boil.”
“It’s OK,” Kyra mumbled. But it wasn’t, and she knew it as well as her mother did.
“Give me your phone,” Jasmine finally said.
“Why?”
“I’m going to call him to tell him you got here safely,” Jasmine said as though that wasn’t the most obviously thin excuse she could have used. “I promise not to yell at him too much.”
Kyra handed her phone over to her mother. “Don’t yell at him at all, OK? But I should have told him I got here safely. You’re right about that.” Not only that, but she was curious to knowhow he was doing. At least it would be her mother finding out rather than her. Less temptation to say something she would later regret. Jasmine had always been great at diplomacy, so Kyra trusted her not to make a mess of things.
Jasmine glanced through Kyra’s contacts and found Adam’s number. “My hot boss?” she said with a chuckle. “You’ll want to change his name in your phone.”
Then she called him. Kyra held her breath while her mother waited for Adam to pick up. What would he say? Would he be worried about Kyra? Would he even care what happened to her after she had left the ranch? Something in her hoped he would.
But after several seconds of waiting, Jasmine finally hung up the phone. With a shake of her head, she handed it back and said, “He didn’t pick up.” And Kyra’s heart broke all over again.
CHAPTER 17
ADAM
After six weeks of working alone, Adam was seriously starting to regret his choices. As soon as Kyra left, he had felt her absence keenly, but he’d assured himself he had made the right choice. All he was doing was keeping the promises he’d made to himself as a child. There was bound to be an adjustment period, but if he pushed through, he was sure to find a way past it. At least, that’s what he thought would happen.
But as the weeks wore on, Adam didn’t feel any better. In fact, he felt worse and worse with every day that passed without Kyra. For Adam, this was increasingly surprising. He’d said goodbye to so many people in his life, and he’d always found it easy enough to push through, no matter how sad he might have felt initially. But the absence of Kyra was eating him alive.
There were too many habits to unlearn. First, he had to remember to make only one breakfast, which was something he’d failed to do the first several days. Every time he passed one of the brightly colored buildings that had been so dull before Kyra painted them, he felt his heart sink a little.
