Again, he should have predicted that she was going to be difficult. If he was completely honest, he would have hated to be in her shoes himself. After he left the military, he’d had an opportunity to work an office job, and he’d refused. It felt wrong for him to sit still for so long, and he imagined she probably felt the same. “It’s only temporary,” he assured her. “I promise. And this way, you can work on the ranch longer before you need to take your leave.”
She thought a moment and seemed to come to a decision. “I guess that makes sense,” she finally said.
Adam had spent much of the morning cleaning up his office so Kyra wouldn’t feel uncomfortable working in it. But as soon as they entered the room, she wrinkled her nose like she was smelling something particularly unpleasant. “What’s the problem?” he asked.
“Nothing,” she said. Then she added. “It’s… a little disorganized.”
“Well, that’ll be your first job then.” He grinned. “Organize the office.” He didn’t admit he was a bit hurt by her comment. The effort he’d extended to straighten up the place had gone completely unnoticed. Of course, he’d probably done more stacking than organizing, shuffling papers into tall piles so they looked better than when they were just strewn across the desk.Apparently, Kyra easily saw through that. He decided to spin things in his favor. “Help me, Kyra Powell. You’re my only hope.”
She patted him on the shoulder and sat down at the desk. “I guess I’ll get going then. Do you have any instructions?”
“I leave it in your very capable hands,” he said with a smile. “As long as it makes sense, and it’s something you can explain to me later.”
He left her to work, checking on her between most of his other tasks. Usually, he’d ask her what she was working on and listen carefully while she explained it to him. She really was quite good at organizing paperwork. He assumed this had something to do with her mother being a business owner and her having helped out a lot. She’d probably kept books before or at least assisted her mother in doing so.
Adam was able to leave her to her work more and more as the week went on. She was a quick study and learned anything she set her mind to almost immediately. He got the impression he could have given her any task at all, offered a few lines of instruction and left her to it. He took on all the physical labor himself, grateful his injured arm was almost completely back to normal.
The work was hard and he’d gotten used to doing only half of it, but keeping Kyra and her baby healthy was of the utmost importance to him. What he wasn’t ready to admit to was why. So, he convinced himself it was the best way to ensure no one got injured on his property. He convinced himself he was avoiding litigation. The truth was, he couldn’t bear the thought that any harm could come to her, so he wouldn’t allow it, especially not on his watch.
By the endof the week, Adam was exhausted. The weather was unseasonably warm, and he decided to treat himself and Kyra to a bonfire. He’d bought marshmallows to roast, along with chocolate and graham crackers, and he had a thermos with Kyra’s favorite herbal tea ready for her. She was more than happy to join him when he invited her. They sat and stared up at the stars for a while before he finally broke out the ingredients he’d brought with them.
“I haven’t had s’mores since I was a kid,” she said with a massive grin on her face. She held one end of the metal hanger he’d straightened for her over the flames, sanitizing it in the fire. “It was always my favorite summer treat. Did you call my mom to find out?”
“Now I wish I had,” he said, ashamed by how highly she thought of him. “I thought it would be fun to try it, even though it’s a bit late for summer.”
“You mean you’ve never had s’mores?” Her eyes went wide in disbelief.
He shook his head. “I haven’t.”
“Oh my gosh, you’re missing out!” she cried. “OK. Let me show you how it’s done. First, you have to have your sandwich ready to go.” She broke a graham cracker in half and laid a few squares of milk chocolate on one half of it. “Like this. Then you toast to golden brown.” She pushed a marshmallow onto the end of her fully sanitized hanger and held it over the fire. “The trick is to getit the right shade of golden brown without letting it catch fire. You know it’s perfect when it starts to bubble.”
Having her teach him how to toast marshmallows was honestly such a pleasure. He burned more than one of them on purpose, just so she would take his hand to show him how far from the flames he should hold his marshmallow.
Finally, he had a good s’more to try, and it was, of course, heaven on earth. It made him sad about all the camping trips he might have gone on as a child, if his father had ever had the time or inclination. Part of the reason he’d thought to try them today was because he had spent some time thinking about all the things he missed out on as a kid. No child should have the kind of upbringing he did — feeling like they didn’t matter at all, like if they were to disappear one day, their parents wouldn’t even notice.
One thing Adam knew for certain was that Kyra would never allow a child of hers to grow up like that. If he could have chosen anyone to be the mother of his child, he would have picked her in an instant. At least the kid would have a magnificent mother, regardless of their absent father.
Kyra bit into her s’more and audibly groaned. “Some people try to make these in the microwave,” she said. “But it’s not the same. You don’t get the same crispiness. It’s the texture and smokiness that make it so good, don’t you think?”
“I’ve never had microwave s’mores,” Adam said, “but I’ll take your word for it. I can’t imagine they’re any better than this.”
“You should definitely take my word for it.” She lifted the tea to her lips and took a sip. Her face in the light of the fire, flushed by its warmth combined with the heat of the tea she wasdrinking, made her even more beautiful than she usually was. If anyone had asked Adam if it was possible for her to surpass her own beauty, he would have insisted it wasn’t, but here she was, looking like some kind of angel.
Adam couldn’t help himself. “You look amazing tonight,” he said. “I always wondered what it meant when people told pregnant women that they were ‘glowing’. But… I think I know now.” He scooted closer to her. “Are you cold at all?”
She took his invitation and sat closer to him. He put an arm around her shoulders, pretending to keep her warm but loving the closeness the whole time. Then she rested her head against his chest and said, “This is nice.”
When she glanced up at him, his heart started to pound. His mind flashed back to that night in the barn, how perfect it had felt to be that close to her. He bent over her, drawing nearer, desperately fighting the urge to kiss her. The truth, if he could bring himself to admit it, was that he didn’t want to lose her. It was selfish, really. He wanted to keep her despite not being willing to be a father. But what kind of man did that make him, keeping her from finding a real father for the child?
His own childhood promise to himself, that he would never become anyone’s father, started screaming in his head. And a couple inches from her lips, he stopped and pulled back. “Sorry,” he murmured, when she looked confused. “Sorry, that was stupid of me. I got caught up in the moment. Sorry.”
There wasn’t a lot more he could say. The mistake he’d made was written all over Kyra’s face. Her hurt and confusion were clear as day. Adam felt like the worst kind of person, which only cemented his own insecurities. He wasn’t the right person to become Kyra’s husband. And he definitely wasn’t the rightperson to father her child. She deserved so much better than a man like him.
She was still staring up at him as she said, “I don’t understand.”
All he could do was repeat the wordsI’m sorryas he rose and left her alone by the fire.
CHAPTER 15
