“And isn’t it getting uncomfortable?”
“Are you suggesting I can’t reach the steering wheel?” She arched an eyebrow at him and crossed her arms over her chest.
He leapt to his feet. “No, no. I’d never assume…” Then he started second-guessing himself. What if she really couldn’t reach the steering wheel? Wouldn’t claiming he would never assume such a thing suggest that not being able to reach the wheel was bad? Was he insulting her while trying his best not to? “I mean, if that’s the case, there’s nothing wrong with it,” he concluded.
“Do you think that’s the case?” She wouldn’t let him off easy, apparently.
“Of course not.” He shook his head vigorously. “I mean, you don’t look…”You don’t look that bigwere the logical next words he would say, but he stopped short of them. No matter how he reworded it, he couldn’t make it sound like anything other than a backhanded compliment. She looked ready to slap him. He sighed. “You look beautiful, is what I mean.” It made no sense whatsoever, but it was all he could think to say.
Luckily for him, Kyra had a sense of humor that far exceeded his own. “I guess I’m just too pretty to drive. OK. You can come. I’ll be your passenger princess.” She grinned.
Adam heaved a deep sigh of relief. “You’re going to be the death of me one of these days,” he said, getting to his feet. She knew exactly what she was doing when she toyed with him. The only problem was that he loved it a little too much. “Where are we going anyway?” he asked.
“The hardware store. I want a longer hose. The one we have doesn’t quite reach the last stall, and I’m tired of lugging buckets around. Don’t worry,” she added. “I’ll pay for it myself.”
“The hell you will,” he said. “It’s my ranch. I’ll buy what you need.”
“But the only reason I want it is because I’m pregnant. You shouldn’t have to pay for that.”
“It’s called making accommodations for your employees, and it’s something every decent boss should do, in my opinion.” He was stern enough that she wouldn’t be able to argue with him.
There was a moment in which she looked like she was going to keep arguing against how much use she was as an employee. She was way too hard on herself. But instead, she smiled and said, “You’re the best boss ever. Let’s go.”
On the way to the hardware store, Kyra knew exactly when to turn the radio up. She sang along with all of Adam’s favorite songs. Though he wasn’t quite comfortable joining her, he loved to hear her sing. Her voice made it almost impossible not to smile.
The truth was, Adam hadn’t really dealt with the fact that he was likely going to lose her. He kept convincing himself she would stick with the job even after the baby was born. Part of him knew this was unlikely. Even if he gave her enough leave, working with the father of her child, who would not allow himself to be recognized as such, might be far too difficult for her to handle. When he asked himself whether he would stick around in such a situation, his answer was invariably no. But Kyra was not the same as him, so he allowed himself to hope things might be different with her.
More often than not, these days, when his mind wandered, this was the place it wandered to. Will she stay? Will I lose her? Even if he managed to shut these inner thoughts up, the questionswould always crop up again later. He wanted to do everything in his power to keep her in his life. But the one promise he’d made to himself that he desperately wanted to keep was that he would never be like his father. And the best way to ensure that was to never become a father at all.
The hardware store was busier than usual. Adam could tell that much by how full the parking lot was. Granted, this was ‘busy’ in a small town, which wasn’t all that busy in the end, but it was still more people than Adam was accustomed to dealing with on a day-to-day basis. He tended to get his shopping done early, when he knew there would be fewer people at the store. Now it was peak hours, and he could feel his shoulders tense up as he and Kyra walked into the store.
“Let’s make this quick,” Adam said to her, but she didn’t seem to be paying attention.
Instead, she said, “Ooh, look,” like an excited child and wandered over to the houseplants section. She took the time to examine every plant, reading all the care-and-feeding tags and marveling at the different leaf shapes. “Do you think I should get a plant for my apartment?”
“You’re living in the main house,” Adam reminded her.
“Not permanently, though, right?” she said, picking up a cute little plant with heart-shaped leaves. “I like this one.”
He wanted to insist that she was absolutely staying in the main house permanently, and she was never to move back into the detached apartment again. But if her intention to stay in the apartment was going to keep her on the ranch, he’d take that over her leaving the ranch entirely. “If you like that one, you should get it,” he said. “Keep it in the main house until you’reready to move back into your apartment. Just make sure it’s not toxic.”
“Toxic?” Kyra cocked her head.
“For the baby,” Adam clarified. “Babies eat everything, apparently. It’s best to make sure you don’t have any houseplants that will hurt them.” This was something he’d learned from one of the parenting books he picked up. Regardless of whether or not he intended to be a parent, the child was still his own flesh and blood. He would make sure whoever was parenting it did a decent job of it. He would absolutely not admit, even to himself, the real reason he bought those books, which was due more to second-guessing his own resolve than anything.
Kyra glanced down at the plant in her hands. “Oh, you’re right. I hadn’t even thought of that.” She pulled out her phone and typed in the name of the plant, which she got from the care-and-feeding tag attached to it. She scoured the internet until she was satisfied. “It says it’s safe for kids.”
“In the cart it goes then,” Adam said.
She smiled broadly as they walked away. Such little things made her so happy. Whoever ended up with her was going to be incredibly lucky, he thought. She was so easy to please, so grateful and open. His heart clenched at the mere thought of her marrying someone else. But he was determined to push his instincts down and listen to reason instead.
They made their way to the right part of the store, and Kyra spent some time picking out her favorite hose. “It has to be extra long,” she said. “It should be sturdy, too. Because what if it gets trampled by horses?” She laughed.
“What about this one?” Adam picked up a hose and offered it to her.
She looked it over carefully. “I think that’s perfect. Let’s get this one. And one more thing.” Adam had no idea they were coming to the store for anything other than a longer hose, so he followed her with a quizzical expression. To his horror, she was heading for the furniture section. “I want a swinging bench,” she said. “They’re on sale now, and come summer, I can imagine sitting outside after work with an iced tea, watching the sunset.”
“Does this mean you’re going to be sticking around through next summer?” He couldn’t help asking. It had been on his mind lately whether he would be able to see her after she had her baby. He knew he had no right to insist, seeing as he wasn’t planning to be a father to the child. Still, he hoped she wouldn’t disappear from his life forever.
