“I’m certain of it,” she said. “I’ve looked everywhere, and we don’t have what I need.” She hoped he would be willing to accept her vague answers without asking too many questions. At first, it seemed like she was going to get lucky. But after giving her permission to go, and seconds before he closed the front door, Adam opened it again and stopped her.
“Are you OK? You look a little pale. You know you can take the day off if you’re not feeling well,” he said.
Kyra thought about it and came up with what she felt was a believable answer. “I haven’t been feeling great this morning, actually. But I’ll pick up some medicine in town and see if it helps. Maybe it’s just a little bug. If I still feel sick after taking medicine, I’ll take the rest of the day off.” That would give her an out no matter what she discovered on her trip into town.
Adam nodded. “Let me know,” he said. “I can take on your duties for today if you need me to.”
Kyra tried to give him her usually warm, friendly smile, but it felt more wooden than usual. She hoped he didn’t notice. “Thanks, boss. I’ll keep you in the loop.”
She’d originally planned to take her car into town, but Adam insisted she take the truck, suggesting that if she was going to get supplies, she might need it. Kyra agreed, not because she thought she would need the truck, but because she knew it would look suspicious if she didn’t. She felt bad being so deceptive, but at the same time, there was no need to worry Adam prematurely.
Unfortunately, Adam had failed to warn her that his truck was low on gas. Kyra needed to fill up before she even made it into town. She popped into the gas station for some anti-nausea medication while she was there. The last thing she wanted to do was throw up in Adam’s truck. She quickly found the medication she was looking for, but not before she saw that the gas station also carried pregnancy tests. She immediately grabbed one and paid for it at the counter.
Over the last several hours, her stress had been going up and up. She didn’t want to wait another moment to figure out where exactly she stood. So, after paying for the medication and pregnancy test, she headed to the bathroom.
“At least it’s clean,” she said to herself after locking the door behind her. Gas station bathrooms were hit or miss at best. But this one was one of the better ones she’d used. She opened the box, read the directions, and followed them to the letter. Then she waited.
The wait was excruciating, and Kyra hoped the gas station attendant didn’t notice how long she was spending in the bathroom. There was no one else around, so she wasn’t too worried anyone else would need to use it. She spent the time playing games on her phone, and while her wait was only minutes, it felt like hours to her.
By the time the results were ready, her palms had begun to sweat profusely. She pocketed her phone and picked up the stick to check the little pink lines on it. And she couldn’t believe what she saw. The rational part of her had known it was a possibility, but the irrational, frightened part hadn’t really believed it.
“I can’t be,” she muttered. “I can’t be pregnant.”
Yes, you can, the rational part of her seemed to say.You know you didn’t use protection, and you weren’t on any form of birth control. It’s more than possible.
She took out the second stick and decided to retest. There had to be some mistake, even though part of her knew there probably wasn’t. Accepting that wasn’t on her to-do list for today. She retested and got the same result. Then she cursed and threw the whole test away.
Kyra bought another test on her way out of the gas station. The clerk asked, “Didn’t you just buy one of those?”
“Yeah,” she admitted, “but I don’t think it worked very well.”
The clerk arched an eyebrow at her. “Didn’t get the result you wanted?” He was a younger man, and Kyra had to wonder how he was so perceptive at such a young age.
She hit him with her usual smile. “No, I think I did it wrong. I realized it after I’d already tried it twice, so… silly me.”
“Go ahead and take it,” he said with a sympathetic tone Kyra didn’t quite appreciate. “It’s on the house this time.”
She knew she was blushing a deep crimson as she dropped the test into her purse. “Thanks,” she said, and turned to leave. There was no chance in hell she was going to take the test in the gas station again.
“No problem,” the clerk said to her on her way out. “And good luck.”
Kyra felt his eyes burning into her back. What was good luck supposed to mean in this instance? No matter how well he meant it, she couldn’t help considering all the less-than-pleasant possibilities, however unlikely they were. She wished she was one of those women who could be ecstatic at a positive result. She didn’t want to be someone who was dreading it. Under any other circumstances, she would be elated, wouldn’t she? But right now, she was not in a committed relationship. The father had no idea she had even taken a test. Right now, she didn’t have the kind of home or family she’d hoped to give her future children.
She slapped her own forehead and started up the truck, but as soon as she put it into reverse, she realized she had no idea where to go. She couldn’t go back to the ranch, not with how she was feeling right now. And she hadn’t brought her house keys with her, so her own apartment was out.
“I’m such an idiot,” she said to no one.
There was only one place she could think to run to when everything else felt impossible. She had one safe place that would always be safe, no matter what unexpected disaster she brought upon herself.
The second her mother’s bakery came into view, Kyra felt a fraction of the weight lift from her mind. Strange how she wasn’t worried about what her mom would think of her. Judgement was not Jasmine’s style. Kyra smiled to herself and parked.
The café was winding down now, as most of its business was in the early mornings. The truck was the only vehicle in the parking lot besides Jasmine’s car and one other. Kyra stepped out of the truck and into her own safety zone.
Her mother smiled wide when she saw her. “Kyra! How’s the new job treating you?”
Kyra opened her mouth to answer, but she couldn’t seem to get the words out. As soon as she saw her mother, her eyes had begun to well up, and it was taking all the strength she had to avoid bursting into tears in front of the lone customer. Of course, Jasmine noticed this at once and stopped questioning her daughter, choosing instead to quickly serve the customer and get them out the door.
As soon as her customer was gone, Jasmine locked the door behind him and turned the open sign to closed. “Mom, you don’t have to do that,” Kyra said, still holding back her tears. “I’m OK.”
