‘Of course,’ he said. ‘Take your time.’
‘And you need to go and warm up,’ I said.
The last thing I wanted was to throw him off before the biggest match of his life.
‘See you on Centre Court,’ he said.
I nodded. ‘I’ll be there. You’ve got this.’
I took my time deciding what to wear. It was already gone twelve and I needed to get going if I wanted to make it to the grounds in time for the match, because I could only assume the traffic would be horrendous onmen’s finals day. England was in the height of Wimbledon fever, even more so because Marcus was playing. The press had finally started to champion him. One newspaper had even printed a picture of him and me together with the headlineHas Racquet Man Turned Into Romantic Man? Dean’s plan had worked like a dream. Marcus had offers of sponsorship, more than he could ever have imagined. But for all that Marcus had gained, something had been lost for me. My relationship with Cassie was going to take some time to recover, and I was going to need to process the fact that she and Charlie were together now, and that I felt differently about my sister as a result. Any happy memories of my relationship with Charlie had been trashed by recent events, which was probably a good thing. And my article was finished, I just needed to add in a line or two about Marcus’s final match at Wimbledon. Amanda Eddington was impressed with what she’d seen so far – Zoe said she was raving about me in the team meeting, and that she wouldn’t hesitate to hire me again – in fact, there was a profile of an A-list actor she was negotiating for and she’d already asked about my availability for August.
I laid my dress out on the bed. Zoe had persuaded me to buy it, and I swung between thinking it looked lovely and being convinced that I looked ridiculous in it. It was a showy dress. A cerise pink mini with puffed sleeves and a nipped-in waist. A look-at-me dress. If I wore it in the players’ box, would everyone think I was pulling attention away from Marcus? And then I realised that it was my punishing voice doing the talking – my mum’s voice, I supposed, that I’d somehow internalised and made my own. As if wearing a nice outfit would in any way take away from what Marcus had achieved and would go on to achieve today, whatever happened. I slipped it on. I was just about to leave when my phone rang. It was Mum. I checked the time – 12.20. She would have to be quick.
‘I’m just off over to Wimbledon, so ...’
‘This won’t take a minute, Ava,’ she said.
I packed my bag while she was talking, hooking the phone between my shoulder and my ear. I’d need my tickets, my accreditation, tissues, money, credit cards, lipstick. Foundation and powder for touch-ups. Sunglasses. Sunscreen. What else?
‘I know we haven’t really spoken about Cassie and Charlie, but I wanted to have a proper think about what I wanted to say to you.’
Here we go, I thought. I’d somehow be to blame. Cassie would be a mess and it would be my fault.
‘Mum, can we skip the recriminations? I really haven’t got time for this today.’
A beat.
‘That’s not why I called, Ava.’
‘Oh?’
‘It might surprise you to hear that I’m actually quite disgusted by what Cassie has done. And I’ve told her as much.’
I raised my eyebrows. She was right, this was not what I’d been expecting, not at all.
‘I’m not sure if I’ve told you about when Cassie was born,’ continued Mum.
‘You have,’ I said. Several times, I nearly added.
I knew she’d arrived two months early, that she’d been in the neonatal unit, that she’d caught an infection and almost died. I knew that I didn’t see my parents for almost two months because they were at the hospital and I had to go and stay with my nan and grandad in Slough.
‘Well, I think it shaped everything from then on. Because we nearly lost her, and because you were so strong and healthy and capable, I think I felt I had to make it up to her. Had to make Cassie feel extra special, as special as you seemed naturally to be.’
‘Mum . . .’
‘Hear me out, Ava, I’ll only be another minute. I want you to know that I’m aware I tried to dull your light. Me and Dad bothdid. We saw that you were destined to shine and we felt worried that Cassie would feel left behind. And ... I’m sorry about that. It wasn’t fair of us to do that to you.’
I swallowed hard. Mum had never said any of this to me before, I’d never had any idea this was how she felt.
‘Sometimes I thought you actually disliked me,’ I said.
‘Never,’ she said. ‘And I understand now that I need to show you how much I care aboutbothof you, not just Cassie.’
‘Thanks, Mum,’ I said, touched. I took a deep breath – it probably wasn’t a good idea to get upset and ruin my make-up.
‘And Ava?’
‘Yes?’
