I’m quiet for a few long moments, unsure what to say.
‘I can’t change anything about our past, and I will regret everything I did for the rest of my life, but I’m here now.I want to know you.I want to be in your life.’
The wall I’ve been building around me for years wavers.I don’t know if I have the strength to hold it up anymore.I’m always going to be angry about it, but it’s time to forgive.Never forget, but it might be time to move on from it.I owe it to my family to try.We are all that we have left, and life is too short not to make amends.I’m sure I could have done more.Noticed how things were earlier.Somehow tried to help.
‘Okay,’ I eventually say.
‘Okay?’she repeats.
I nod.She pushes to her feet and I slowly do the same, towering over her.She seems to be getting smaller each time I see her.She wraps her arms around me and clings to me tightly.I feel the wetness of tears soak through my shirt.
‘I love you so much, Zay,’ she whispers.‘More than you will ever know.’
‘I love you, too, Mum.’
Nora is sprawled out on the back deck when I return.
She’s lying on her stomach, her dark waves falling down her back in ripples as she lies in the sun, her laptop in front of her as she types.I admire her for a moment.
‘Hey,’ I say when she pauses her frantic typing.I’ve never seen fingers move so fast.They glide over the keyboard and she doesn’teven have to look down as she does it.I suppose you’d get very quick at typing when you write novels for a living.
Glancing over her shoulder, her pretty smile that I love so much greets me.‘Hey.’
‘I got some goodies.’
I hold up the bakery paper bags in my hands and she snaps her laptop shut, getting to her feet.She places her things onto the bench and we grab the coffees and bags, taking them into the lounge room.
‘How did it go?’she asks, her expression a mixture between happy to see me and concerned about what I might have to say.
‘Okay,’ I say.‘It was needed.We’re moving forward from it all.’
‘That’s great.How are you feeling?’
I shrug.‘I mean, I’m still hurt.I always will be, but I understand that she was a victim, too, and felt powerless in her situation.’
‘It sounds like she was in a very scary place.’
‘She was.’
‘I’m proud of you.’
Our eyes meet, and I curl my hand around the back of her neck, tugging her to me.She swings a leg around my other side, settling on my lap.My hands run up her side and when we kiss, she tastes like coffee, sunshine and home.Having her on top of me is exactly what I need right now.
Pulling back, I lock my eyes on hers.‘Thank you for being here with me.I appreciate you.’
‘There is no one else I’d rather be with.’
After we eat, I spend the next hour showing Nora around Bliss Bay: where I went to school, the footy fields I’d spend most of my evenings training at, my favourite places to eat.We share an ice cream and walk down the North Wall, watching the wavescrash against the rocks.The salty air and the sound of the water is comforting to me.I do enjoy being back here, even though I was so desperate to leave when I graduated high school.It sort of feels weird being back here without Mason and Anya by my side.It was us three against the world when we were here.
We spend the rest of the day by the beach.We swim for a bit and then retire back to our towels.I lie back, not hiding in the slightest that I can’t keep my hands or eyes off her.My eyes are trained on her breasts as she rolls to the side.
‘What?’she asks playfully, smiling at me.
‘I want to do many, many things to you right now, and it’s very unfortunate that we’re in public.’
Biting her lip, she tilts her head to the side.‘Prove it.’
‘I will,’ I promise her.
