‘I’m sure they’ll direct you,’ he replies.‘If you’re still worried about all that other stuff, please don’t.Your readers will love getting to see you and learn more about you.’
‘I hope so.’
Although I don’t sound confident, his words provide me with the extra reassurance that I’m doing the right thing by agreeing to this.I know I’d personally love to learn more about my favourite authors if they were anonymous.I can’t help suspecting that some people might expect something different from me and be disappointed, but I can’t let those kinds of thoughts dictate my life anymore.Life’s too short to be weighed down by the opinions of others and it’s about time I start letting all of that go.
‘Should we go out for breakfast and then we can go to your shoot?I don’t have too much on my timetable on Fridays,’ Zayden says.‘If you’re wanting the company, that is.’
‘Sure, that would be great.I’d feel better if you were there.’
‘I’ll be there then.’
He drops into the seat beside me and that same sensation of warmth trickles through me.It’s just so easy with him.This is the kind of relationship I yearned for.Easy-going, supportive and understanding.
‘I have an idea, and I’m not sure if it’s a terrible one or not,’ he says, voice muffled as his mouth is full.
‘What is it?’I ask.
‘I thought I might go home for the weekend, and I’d like to take you.See if Mason and Anya want to come as well, and your friend Cami, too, if she wants.I need to go visit Mum, which I’ll do on my own, but I’d love to show you around and introduce you to her as well.’
I perk up at this, thrilled by the thought that he wants to show me more of his life.It would probably be considered too soon to meet each other’s parents, given we only just agreed to start dating, but when I’m around Zayden, I feel like I’ve known him for longer than I have.I’m so comfortable around him and I’m confident he wouldn’t be taking things to the next level if he wasn’t serious about this.He doesn’t seem like the kind of guy to muck a girl around, especially knowing I’m always going to be close by, being such good friends with Anya.
‘I would love that.’
‘Seeing how things are with your family – I hope you don’t take any offence to this – has made me rethink some things about my relationship with Mum.I’m still hurt beyond words at everything that happened, but I think it’s important to rebuild our relationship.Thinking ahead about future things here … I’d want her to be involved in my child’s life.Not that I want that right now or anything, I hope I’m not coming across crazy right now, but I just don’t want a strained relationship anymore.I think it’s worth trying to work through it.’
‘No offence taken at all.I wish my relationship with that side of the family was better, but it isn’t my choice.’
‘That’s what I mean.When it comes to my mum, itismy choice, and although I will never forget everything that happened, I’d like to try and repair what’s left of our relationship.’
Reaching over to him, I link our fingers together, squeezing his hand.‘I’m sure she would appreciate that.’
‘Yeah.It’s about time I face it all.’
Running my thumb over his knuckles, I stare down at the contrast of his tanned skin against my pale complexion.His large hands make mine small.I’m not used to that feeling.The way he towers over me, his hard wall of muscles, he makes me feel safe, secure, and like I’m not the biggest person in the room.I know all of that thinking is in my head, but it’s hard to let it go when it’s been conditioned in my head over the years from family always criticising me and commenting on my appearance.If it wasn’t my weight, my hair was too oily, my skin too dry, or my clothes were not nice enough.When I managed to get one thing right, something else would be brought up.It felt like I could never win.
‘You okay?’he asks, a frown denting the skin between his brows.
‘What?’I ask distractedly.‘Oh, yeah.Just thinking.’
‘About what?’
‘Family,’ I shrug.‘Nothing important.’
‘I didn’t upset you, did I?’he asks in concern.
‘Not at all.’
He looks relieved, nodding.I slowly let go of his hand and withdraw mine back to my lap.I need to head back to my apartment today and get my things.I reached out to the admin department and explained I no longer need the room.It’s a huge cost that goes out per week and since I’m here all the time, I’ve decided to make it official.Most people would tell me it’s not a good idea to move in here, since I’ve only just started dating Zayden and things could change at any moment, but I don’t feel comfortable or safe in that apartment.Even if this is short-term, it’s the better option of the two.Besides, I’m hoping to buymyself a house soon with the money I’ve earnt from my books.I can’t wait to see the look on my family’s face when I announce it to them, considering writing is simply a ‘useless hobby’ and I’m ‘wasting my time’ with it.
‘I better get organised,’ I say.
‘You sure you don’t want me to come with you?I can go after class.’
‘I’m a big girl, I’ll be fine.’
‘Okay.’
Leaning forward, he kisses my forehead.I stand and jog up the stairs.I dress in a skirt and a long-sleeve top, twisting my hair into a half-up, half-down style – my signature go-to look.Styled with my sneakers, I head off, my stomach clamping with dread the closer I get to the university living quarters.
