My mouth decides for me.
‘So, you’re proud of me now?’I ask, trying to keep the sharpness out of my voice, but failing.My hand tightens around my drink, my fingers cold against the glass.‘After telling me for years that my writing was a useless skill and that I would never achieve anything with it?That my arts degree is nothing but a “waste of time” and it’s “useless”?’
His smile falters for a fraction of a second, but he quickly recovers.‘Oh, come on, honey, I’ve always been proud of you.You know that.’The words come out too easily, too rehearsed.‘I’m just glad the world knows what I already knew.You’ve always been destined for greatness.I mean, of course you are.You’re a Robertson.’
My chest tightens, the words stinging like acid, and I want to cry, but somehow, I hold it all in.Zayden shifts closer to me, his shoulder bumping mine, as if he is offering reassurance.
‘Right,’ I mutter, the sarcasm thick in my voice.‘You’ve always been there.You know me so well that you even got my pen name wrong.’
‘Of course.’His voice is louder now, ignoring my comment, sounding more assured, as though he’s convincing both me and the room that this is how it’s always been.He places a hand on my shoulder – too heavy, too forced.‘And now, look at you.Mydaughter.The famous author.’
I want to shake him off, walk away, but something holds me in place.I stand there, my mind a tangled mess of anger, disappointment and exhaustion, while he tries to convince these strangers that he is a decent human being.
I’m not a kid anymore.I don’t need him to validate me.There was nothing more than me wanting him to be proud, but not anymore.
Instead, I just take a deep breath, smile through clenched teeth and nod.‘Thanks,’ I say, my voice tight but polite.‘It’s nice of you to finally give a shit.It only took a worldwide story to break out for you to notice me or care.’The words taste like venom on my tongue.‘I suppose I should thank you; you’re a massive inspiration behind some of my work.You know, the trauma and whatnot.’
A few heads turn my way, sensing my tone, their eyes ping-ponging between the two of us, watching to see how my father will react.
He doesn’t notice, or at least he is fantastic at pretending he doesn’t.Instead, he pats me on the back, smiles that fake smile and walks away.
‘What a fucking prick,’ Zayden says, and a few people glance at us in shock at his words, one woman looking downright mortified.
‘Can you believe the audacity of him?’I counter, still in disbelief.
At least Zayden is here witnessing all of this, because I used to question whether this was all in my head and if they weren’t really that bad.Having him see it and stick by my side validates me in more ways than I ever knew I needed.
A sound of heels clicking against the cement draws me from my thoughts.Michelle’s fake smile is already fixed in place, and Kyle beside her, hands stuffed in his pockets like he’s too cool to be here.
I stiffen and Zayden steps closer to me, protectively.
‘There she is,’ Michelle purrs as they approach.Her voice is syrupy sweet, and her smile reveals veneered teeth that look out of place on her face.On the outside, it must look like we are all one big happy family.‘Themystery writerherself.Imagine our surprise when that landed in our inbox.Someone sure wanted us to know how well she was going.’
Her eyes narrow as she assesses me, emphasising her words, making it clear she thinks I’ve outed myself for the recognition.Of course she would think that – that’s just how she is.
Kyle offers me a lopsided smirk, rocking back on his heels and making his bouncy hair flop up and down – looking like a total douchebag as always.‘Didn’t think you had it in you.All those years locked in your room with your weird notebooks.Guess you were doing more than writing love notes after all.’
I stare back at them, appalled that even they don’t have a nice thing to say.At least my dad pretends in front of other people.Passive-aggressive comments are more his style, whereas Michelle likes to be more direct with her insults.In a way, I have more respect for her for that.She’s not a fake and can’t seem to hide her distaste for me.I still don’t know what I have ever done – other than dare to be different – to make them hate me so much.
Forcing a smile that doesn’t quite reach my eyes, I can’t help letting a little bit of the true me slip through.I am done holding back and pretending to be someone I’m not.‘I’m sure it was a real tragedy for you both, not knowing what I was capable of.’
Kyle chuckles at my words, and Michelle looks surprised at my indifference.Zayden takes my hand, grounding me, and I feel so much more confident having him here.Like I can do or say anything and know he will be right there and have my back.
Michelle’s eyes slice to him, scanning him up and down as if she has the ability to calculate his worth just by assessing hisappearance.‘Nice to see you again, Zach,’ she says, knowing all too well what his real name is but doing her best to make him feel as unimportant as the dirt beneath her feet.‘Bet you had quite the surprise, finding out you’re dating a little celebrity.’She pauses, head tilting, clearly assuming Zayden didn’t know the extent of my fame.‘I mean, there’s not much that’s little about Nora, but you know what I mean.’
Fire burns my cheeks, and I feel like with each inhale, I’m not quite getting enough oxygen.She wasn’t getting enough of a reaction, so she went for the jugular.I’m not surprised at all; I know now to expect the worst of them.
Zayden smiles, slow and easy, looking almost excited to have the chance to add something to the conversation.‘Not surprised at all, since I already knew how successful she is.I see how hard she works.I’m very proud.’
That shuts her up for a moment.Her lips purse as she eyes him with distaste.
‘Anyway,’ she says, recovering quickly, clearing her throat.‘Your father’s just a little … emotional.You know how he is.Maybe try not to be so public next time when you have something you want to say.We get it, you’ve achieved something for once in your life.You didn’t need to make it so publicised for the world to see.’
I meet her gaze.‘Maybe he could try not being sodisappointedin things he doesn’t understand.’
Kyle snorts.‘You think a few silly romance books make you better than the rest of us?’
‘No,’ I say calmly.‘But they’ve made me free of you, your judgement and your pathetic existence.’
