The sand feels cool under my feet, and the waves crash softly against the shore.I never come to the beach at this time anymore, and I miss it.I used to spend days and days at the beach, soaking up the sunshine, feeling the salty water on my skin.With classes, study and football dominating most of my time, I find it difficult to get here that often now.
Nora’s quieter than usual, but I can tell she’s not upset.She’s got her hands in the pockets of her hoodie, and her hair is blowing gently in the breeze.I don’t think she notices, but I keep glancing at her – her face is soft now, the hard edges that were there this morning, when she was about to walk into the studio, have faded away.There’s no anxiety in her shoulders anymore.No tension in her jaw.I think she is coming to terms with her new reality, and instead of being scared of it, she’s finally embracing it.
‘I’m proud of you,’ I say, breaking the silence as we walk.My voice feels a little too loud, but it’s the first thing that comes to mind, and I mean it more than anything.‘You were amazing today.You looked like a natural up there.Your career is just going to soar after all of this.’
She glances at me, a small smile tugging at her lips.‘Thanks.It’s weird, you know?Being seen like that.Being honest about such an intimate part of my life that only I’ve known about for so long.’
I nod, not sure what to say because I can’t imagine what that feels like.‘I can’t put myself in your shoes right now, but I’d like to think I’d have handled it as well as you did.’
‘I thought I’d be a mess,’ she admits.‘I was terrified I might even cry, but when I got in front of that camera, I just felt so angry.Like, a calm sort of angry.I don’t know how to explain it, but I needed to tell my side of the story.It was my one chance to do it.’
I reach for her hand, pulling her closer as we walk side by side.It feels good, the warmth of her hand in mine.I give her fingers a gentle squeeze.‘I wonder if your family saw you?’
She lets out a small laugh, though it’s not quite a laugh – it’s more like a breath she’s been holding in for a while finally slipping out.‘Who knows.I’m still not sure how I feel about all of it.I mean, it’s not like it’s agoodthing to have your life turned upside down, your identity exposed.But I don’t feel as panicked anymore.I think I’m okay with it.I think I’m finally accepting the fact that they are going to know about it.’
I stop walking for a second, making her pause too, and I turn to face her.Her eyes are wide, and I can see the little flicker of vulnerability there, just for a second, like she’s still working through it all.
‘You’re more than the books.You’re a real person and that’s what people are going to see now.’I pause, giving her a crooked smile.‘I lowkey love that Riley thought this would ruin your life but instead, it’s sort of been the best thing for you?’
Nora smiles again, a little wider this time, but there’s still something guarded in her expression, like she’s not sure if she’s completely convinced.‘I hope so,’ she says, her voice softer now, like she’s just realising how much of herself she’s shared with the world.
We start walking again, the sand cool beneath our feet.It’s quiet here.Safe.At this moment, I know that whatever comes next, we’ll handle it together.
‘Not having my accounts is hard, but I can rebuild them all again.It’s going to take time, but I can do it.’
‘I’m am proud of you, Nora,’ I say again, this time with more certainty, because she deserves to hear it more than once.
She looks at me, her smile soft and real this time, and I see the truth in her eyes.
‘Thanks,’ she whispers.‘That means everything to me.I have loved having you by my side through all of this.’
‘I wouldn’t have it any other way.’
23
NORA
THERE’S A KNOCK ATthe door.Three quick raps.Sighing, I drag my feet to the front of the house.When I swing the door open, I don’t expect dark eyes to be blinking back at me.Leasa stands there, her hair somehow even glossier than usual, however today she is without all the glamour she usually possesses.She’s dressed in faded jeans, a white t-shirt, and her hair is pulled into a low pony.I’ve never seen her with her hair back.She is always dripping in designer clothes and accessories.She doesn’t look any less stunning like this, but she does seem more human.
Her arms are wrapped around herself like it’s colder than it is, her eyes flicking up to meet mine and then away just as fast.She looks so different.Not in the way she’s dressed – still put together, still effortlessly stylish – but something is definitely different.Like she seems softer.
‘Nora,’ she says quietly with a small smile.‘Hey.’
‘Leasa,’ I say, unable to hide my surprise.
‘I—’ she starts and stops.Her mouth opens then closes again, like she’s trying to figure out how to say what she wants to say.‘Can I talk to you?’
Every instinct tells me to say no.My jaw’s already tightening, heart thudding loud in my chest.My mind turns back to the coldlooks she threw at me as she would pass me between classes, the words she spoke to me when she ambushed me in the bathroom, the way she was all over Zayden like a leech whenever I wasn’t around.The way she even turned up to our first date to ruin it.Anger unfurls inside of me at the thought, but the girl staring back at me right now doesn’t seem like the same girl.
So I nod, step aside.She walks in slowly.I cross my arms and wait.The silence stretches.
‘I’ve been awful to you,’ she says, finally.‘And I know it.I just …’ she lets out a breath, shaky and unfiltered.‘I didn’t know how to deal with everything.With him moving on.With you.’
Her voice cracks a little at the edges, and she doesn’t try to hide it.She looks up, meets my eyes for real this time.
‘I’m sorry.For all of it.You didn’t deserve that.Losing Zayden wasn’t easy on me.He’s a hard person to move on from.’
I don’t know what I expected – defensiveness, excuses, another ambush trying to convince me her and Zayden are endgame, but the way her voice shakes makes me pause and listen to her carefully.I have no idea where this is going.
