‘This is exactly why,’ Zayden snarls, hands shaking, ‘I don’t fucking trust men in general, Mase, and with everything you’ve been through, I didn’t even trustyouwith her.’ He shakes his head, jaw clenched, a storm in his eyes. ‘The risk of her being hurt is why I never wanted you to go there. How the fuck could you have done that to her?’
‘It’s not like that at all, Zay.’
‘Right.’ He scoffs.
‘Can we just go back home and talk about this?’ Mason pleads, looking distraught.
‘Nah,’ Zayden shakes his head, backing away. ‘You two enjoy spending so much time together. Who cares about me?’ Turning, he storms off.
Glancing around, I have no idea when Dylan left. I can’t even spark any energy to give one fuck about what he is up to now. All that matters in this moment is Mason, and the way he just found out my biggest secret. The part of my life I refuse to let myself grieve or wallow in, for fear it will utterly destroy me. He hasn’t looked away from me for a long time, and my stomach is in knots. Tears soak my face. A loud clap of thunder rumbles in the sky, and light drops of rain begin to fall, but neither of us moves.
I’ve run from this secret for a long time, never stopping to fully process it or let myself understand the true weight of what I went through. I thought this was something I would carry with me to the grave. I have a lot of regrets, and telling Phoebe is number one on the list. I don’t know if I made the right decision or not by never telling Mason, but he wasn’t here for me through any of it. I never expected our romance to blossom again, after everything. But maybe this secret should have stayed buried, because now he is going to hurt too. His dark hair falls onto his forehead, now damp from the rain. My eyes rake over his sharp jaw, those dark brows, the smoky-brown eyes I adore so much. My heart is tearing in two at the agony in his gaze.
‘You were pregnant?’ he whispers, voice raspy and deep. My tears intermingle with the rain on my skin, and I slowly nod. ‘From that night?’
‘Yes,’ I say, my voice thick with emotion.
‘What happened?’ he utters, walking towards me, looking hopelessly sad, making me cry harder.
‘I don’t know. I’d only just found out. I had an awful pain in my stomach one day, and then I went to the bathroom and there was blood everywhere. When I went to the doctor the following week for my check-up, there was no baby anymore.’
His eyes fall to my stomach. ‘Who knows about this?’
‘Only Phoebe,’ I say, and release a sharp exhale. ‘Well, shewasthe only person who knew.’
‘You went through this. Alone.’ His words ring through to me, and my heart squeezes.
Zayden never told me his story. I never told him mine.
‘Well,’ I say, a little bluntly, ‘you weren’t here.’
He stares at me in that intense, scrutinising way he does when he seems to have a brand-new thought about me. The rain streaks his lightly tanned skin, making his eyes appear so much darker. He looks as crushed as I feel. ‘When did you find out?’ he asks, voice hoarse and desperate.
Swallowing, I shrug. ‘A few weeks after my birthday. I was eight weeks along when I miscarried.’
Mason looks distraught, combing his fingers through his hair as if needing to occupy his hands. ‘I’m so sorry I left. That I was too much of a coward to handle what was going on between us.’ He strides towards me, taking my hands in his. ‘I will spend the rest of my life making sure you never go through anything alone again. I’m here for you.Always.’
I nod, swallowing the emotion that is threatening to consume me. I squeeze his hands. ‘I know,’ I say softly.
‘I don’t think I can ever tell you how sorry I am.’
‘It’s okay, Mase. It’s all in the past now.’
‘It makes sense now. Why you were the way you were when you first saw me. Why you were so guarded. So different from the girl I used to know.’
Tearing my gaze from his, I stare out into the distance, watching everyone in motion, laughing, like my entire world hasn’t just fallen apart and shattered to pieces. I’m frozen, shivering in the harsh wind, the rain coming down harder now.
‘Let’s go home,’ I say quietly. ‘It’s freezing, and it looks like the storm is settling in.’ Tilting my head to look up at him, I offer him a small smile. ‘You’re not afraid of them anymore.’
The corner of his mouth lifts a minuscule amount. ‘No. Not when I’m with you.’
Curling his arm around my waist, he guides me back through the carnival and out to the car park. I feel numb and a little stunned. He helps me into the passenger seat, wordlessly offering to drive us back home. I’m glad, because my brain feels like it’s malfunctioning.
It’s too quiet in the car, despite the low rumbling of the radio and the rain hitting the windscreen.
‘I’m sorry I never told you,’ I whisper, voice shaky and small. ‘I didn’t know what to do, and you left. You didn’t answer any of my calls. You were just ... gone.’
‘I already feel so guilty about the selfish shit I did back then, and this just makes everything so much worse,’ he admits. ‘I can’t believe we’re here right now, talking about this. You really are putting up with me, after everything?’
