Turning his back to me, he disappears through the door, and I lean back against the locker, eyes tilted towards the ceiling.
I don’t deserve him.
30
MASON
THE UPSIDE OF HAVINGa pool and living with the girl I’m in love with is that I get to see her in a bikini regularly. The downside – not being able to look at her or touch her the way I crave to – is that it’s unbearable at times.
On this specific occasion, I’m able to stare. Zayden is out with some of the team, meeting them for lunch. I was honest with Zayden, telling him I didn’t want to leave Anya alone after everything, but that he should go. He seemed reluctant, but we basically forced him out the door. We both knew he wanted to go. He’s been by her side ever since it happened, and she is doing fine. Or at least she says she is.
Cami and Nora are coming over later today to spend the evening. They’ve been around a few times, having movie marathons, eating junk food, gossiping about anything and everything. I’m glad she’s found good friends. She deserves them, after the last ones she had.
She’s been painting a lot, and every time I’m reminded of how gifted she is. It blows my mind that she didn’t paint much while I was away, since she’s constantly doing it now. She’s incredibly talented, and I hope she does something with it in the future. I wish I had a creative mind like she does.
‘What are you thinking about?’ she asks, dropping beside me and dipping her feet into the water. I exhale, watching the water ripple for a moment.
‘Nothing,’ I reply, my gaze catching hers. ‘Everything.’
The slight breeze blows her dark hair over her eyes. Reaching out, I push it back. My eyes roam her face. Letting my hand fall, I face the water again, my heart beating painfully in my chest.
‘Everything?’ she repeats softly.
‘I’ve, um, decided something.’ My chest constricts, and I curl and uncurl my hands, trying to stop the anxiety from climbing its way up my body like it’s trying to.
Her brows furrow. ‘Okay. What is it?’
‘If you decide you don’t want to pursue this’ – I wave a hand between us – ‘if you don’t want a relationship, then I’m going to move out. Give you some space. I think it would be easier on both of us.’
Shock registers in those pretty eyes of hers. ‘No way. You were here first. If things reach that point, then I will be the one to leave. I’m the one who invaded your space.’
‘You didn’tinvademy space.’
‘I sort of did.’
Cheers erupt somewhere in the background. I glance up at the TV, where a re-run of one of our games is playing. Zayden always puts them on to watch and he never remembers to turn the TV off when he leaves a room – or turn off any of the lights. It drives me mad.
‘Either way, I’ve made my decision. It’s on you now.’ I swallow, glancing at her and then away just as quickly. ‘No pressure. Just wanted it to be clear to you that I’m all in. There is no one else for me.’ Running a hand down my face, I scratch my jaw. Turning to face her, I gather her hands in mine. ‘You’re my person. You always have been, and I regret all the shitty things I did in the past. I’m sorry for everything. I love you. I’ve always loved you. I’m ready to do this. If you are.’
A tear slides down her cheek, and I bring her hands to my mouth, pressing my lips to them.
‘Okay?’ I say.
‘Okay.’ She nods.
‘I was so scared of losing you and losing Zayden. My response to what happened and the decisions I made were childish. I was a coward. I’m so sorry, Anya.’
‘I know you are,’ she replies softly.
Letting her go, I get to my feet and help her up. She rolls her lips together, staring down at her feet.
‘Last one inside has to make the other dinner,’ I tease, wanting to break the tense air around us. She launches forward, and I wrap my arms around her waist, yanking her back and throwing her into the pool. I hear a gasp just before she lands with a splash that sprays my legs. Jogging to the back door, I put one foot inside, just for the win, before I run back out and cannonball right next to her, sending a giant wave in her direction.
Spluttering, she releases a laugh and wipes her hair back. Shoving me, she dunks my head under the water.
‘You idiot!’ She shakes her head, a smile curving her lips.
‘An adorable idiot?’ I smirk.
