Yanking her hands from mine, she shakes her head and darts around me. She opens the door and slips out of it so quickly that when I reach for her I grasp empty air. Shoving through the gap in the doorway, I stumble into the hall, where Kai is standing, watching Anya and me with growing interest.
‘I was wondering where you ran off to,’ Kai says to Anya, even though his eyes don’t leave mine. ‘Guess there’s my answer.’
‘It’s not what it looks like,’ she says weakly. ‘I don’t feel well, I’m going to head home. I hope you have a nice night with your friends.’
Kai’s cheek spasms as he finally drags his gaze from me down to Anya.
‘I’ll take you,’ he says.
‘It’s fine,’ I cut in, stepping so close my chest hits Anya’s back. ‘I’m leaving now. I can take her.’
Kai nods slowly. ‘Yeah. Sure. I bet Zayden will love hearing all about that.’
Ignoring his comment, I push around him, and Anya follows closely behind. We are silent as we make our way through the crowded room. Zayden is leaning on the bar, talking to the girl who I bought the drink for. She was probably looking for me, and I feel a little bad about that, but it looks like she is enjoying Zayden’s attention. He won’t even realise I’m gone. Deciding to text him later, I lead Anya out onto the street. The crisp night air washes over me, relieving me momentarily of the anxiety that is swirling in my chest.
‘Wait, do you even have your car here?’ she asks.
‘No,’ I reply. ‘But I didn’t want you going with him.’
She rolls her eyes. ‘How are we getting home?’
I wave my hand, showing her my phone screen. ‘I just ordered an Uber.’
‘You don’t have to leave,’ she says.
‘I want to.’
‘Did you have a lobotomy when you were overseas?’ She raises her eyebrows, looking at me curiously. ‘You’re not the Mason I remember.’
‘That’s what I’ve been trying to tell you,’ I murmur, stepping so close that our hands touch. ‘I’ve changed. For the better.’
Chewing her lip, she stares down at the proximity of our hands, deep in thought. Headlights swing onto the street, and the Uber stops in front of us. Wordlessly, we climb into the car.
The tension between us is simmering as we take the short trip back to our house. My eyes are glued to her bare thighs. She faces away from me, gazing out the window, her knee bouncing up and down. My hand drifts towards her, skating across her shoulder. She shivers as my fingertips drag across her bare skin. Wrapping a dark piece of her hair around my finger, I gently play with it.
‘Mase,’ she whispers, closing her eyes.
I continue my soft caress until the Uber pulls up out the front of our house, when I reluctantly pull my hand away. My skin burns where it made contact with hers.
When we get inside, Anya walks into the kitchen.
‘What are you up to?’ I ask, watching her pull out ingredients for a hot chocolate. Every part of my body begs me to close the distance between us and hold her, but I know I can’t. She isn’t ready for that, and I need to come to terms with the fact that she may not ever be again.
‘Having a drink. Want to join me?’ she asks, her voice surprisingly calm and collected. She seems so unaffected by the tension between us, whereas I feel it in every bone of my body. Was this how she felt all those years? It must have been torture.
‘Sure.’
‘Then I’m going to watch a movie.’
I bite the inside of my cheek. That was something we used to do together all the time. I nod, leaning my elbows onto the kitchen bench as she prepares the drinks.
‘Can I watch it with you?’ I ask.
‘If you want to, but I’m choosing the movie.’
‘Of course.’
‘You’re okay, right?’ she asks softly, pausing for a moment to meet my eyes. ‘Should I be worried?’
