‘I’m in love with her, Zayden,’ I say. ‘Like, totally, utterly, sick to my stomach in love with her.’ Zayden turns his stare to meet mine, a shadow across his face. ‘It doesn’t mean I love you any less. You’re both my entire world, and I’m not going to ruin anything, I promise. I will always treat her right, no matter what. Her happiness is my number one priority.’
Silence stretches between us, and I sigh, continuing what I was doing.
‘You promise me you will never, ever hurt her?’ he murmurs.
Pausing, I turn, nodding. ‘I promise.’
Swallowing, he nods. ‘This has really rattled me. Rod dying, and then seeing Anya almost get hit by that car ... it’s made me realise how fucking easy it is to lose the people you love. Not that I loved Rod in any way. You know what I mean.’ He exhales, rubbing his jaw. ‘I shouldn’t have spoken to you and Anya like that.’
The pressure in my chest uncoils, and I feel air trickle down my body, releasing me from the anxiety and its tight grip on my heart.
‘I don’t know when I started to fuck up so much. I never had any intention to ruin things between us. In my head, I thought I was doing everything right to prevent things from happening with her. But then I’d see her ... be around her ... and everything just went out the window. I tried to fight it so fucking hard, Zay. I left the country to get away from her, and to run away from my feelings and the mess they were causing.’ I pause for a moment, trying to catch my breath.
‘I love her. So much. It scares me how much I love her. We decided that we wanted a relationship, and we were going to tell you everything. Then Rod had the accident, and everything got crazy after that.’ I look at my thumb; blood trickles down it from my picking at it so much. ‘There’s no excuse for being a bad friend and lying to you. I was so scared of losing one of you. And then there was the thought of losingbothof you, and I ... can’t handle that, Zay. I really can’t.’
‘I feel like an idiot.’
Shocked, I look up and stare at him. He’s looking right back at me, his eyes such a bright emerald-green, so similar to Anya’s, under the soft glow of the streetlamp shining over us.
‘I could see it. I knew you loved her. I could see it written all over your face every time she entered the room, but I selfishly refused to let you to do anything about it, because I didn’t want to lose you, either. I know relationships often don’t work out, and I didn’t want that to affect our friendship. I also knew how much anger I had inside me, and I didn’t want to risk her being with someone who might suffer from what I do.’ He lets out a heavy exhale. ‘If you’re a bad friend, then I’m one too.’
‘I never meant to hurt her, or you. The love I have for both of you is more than I have for anything else in the world. It really scared me, knowing my love could be the reason I lost either of you. I was so scared you would hate me.’
‘I can’t hate you,’ Zayden says quietly. ‘And I can’t lose you, either.’ Hope swells inside me. ‘Can you promise me right now that you feel forever about her, and that you will never hurt her like that again?’ he asks firmly, his stare landing heavily on mine. ‘And that if anything happens between you two, it will not affect us?’
‘I feel more than forever about her,’ I admit. ‘I’m all in this time, and I need your blessing.’
His eyes search my face, staring intently at me for a few long seconds, as if trying to see through me, right to my very soul.
‘Okay,’ he says.
‘Okay?’ I repeat.
‘If you make each other happy, then you have my blessing.’
Rolling onto my back, I stare up at the stormy sky, smiling softly. Years and years of stress and anxiety, resolved in one simple conversation. Like it should have happened, long ago.
‘If you do hurt her again,’ Zayden adds, pointing a finger at me. ‘You won’t like what will happen.’
A small smile tugs at my lips. ‘I wouldn’t expect anything less.’
40
ANYA
MY HANDS WON’T STOPshaking as I attempt to slide my dress up my hips. Mason’s fingers touch mine, and I close my eyes softly, enjoying the simplest of touches from him. My anxiety levels are through the roof today, but having him here makes everything so much better.
‘Let me,’ he says softly.
Pulling my dress up the rest of the way, he gently eases the thick straps over my shoulders. His warm breath spills across the back of my neck as he inches the zipper up my back, until the dress hugs me tightly.
‘Thank you,’ I murmur.
Mason was a dream the past two weeks while I mentally recovered from everything. I had a concussion, but thankfully no long-lasting physical injuries from the accident, just some minor bruising. He is the best partner I could have asked for. He’s everything I always wanted and more. I can’t believe we’re finally together, after all this time.
‘I know you didn’t sign up for this,’ I say weakly, gesturing to my glistening eyes. I’ve been so emotional since the big fight with Zayden, and learning everything about Rod, my mother and what happened between them all.
Running his fingers down the side of my face, he pushes my hair back behind my ear. Leaning forward, he lightly presses his lips across the freckles on both of my cheeks. ‘When it comes to you, I’ve signed up for everything.’
