And I hate, most of all, that another part of me whispers:Would she choose him, if he gives her that?
Worse:WouldIgive her that?
I force my voice into control.“Don’t narrate her future like it belongs to you.”
Cally’s eyes narrow, like he can see straight through the armor I wear.Like he knows exactly what lives underneath it.
“Then don’t disappear,” he counters, quietly and deadly accurate, “because you’re terrified she’ll leave you behind like everyone else.”
My pulse spikes.
There it is.The truth I never give anyone.The thing I keep locked up because it makes me weak.
My fear that everyone fucking leaves.
My fear that I’ll never be enough.
I hold his stare anyway, because I’m not letting him see me crack.Not him.Not now.
From down the hall, Vesper calls out again, voice brighter than it has any right to be.“If you two are done measuring your emotional damage, I need someone to tell me if bubble baths are illegal now.Also, how old are these salts, Monty?”
Cally glances toward her door, then back at me.His expression shifts—softer, wrecked with feeling he doesn’t know how to place.
“We’re not leaving her,” he says again, like it’s a vow.
And I realize, with a cold jolt in my gut, that I’m not fighting him on that.
Because I’m already in too deep.
Because I’ve always been in too deep.
And because whatever comes next Vesper is going to look between us and try to laugh it off because she’ll be breaking without letting us know.
“Salts and bubbles came with the apartment.Not sure if they’re old, Ves,” I respond.“Why don’t we get you new stuff tomorrow and today you just try to take a nap?”
“I’m not sleepy.”
“Your body needs rest,” I tell her.“Do you want us to join you?”
Silence stretches out on the other side of the door.I hear water shift in the tub, a small slosh.Her breath, too, like she’s deciding whether she can afford to be honest with us.
When she finally speaks, her voice is light on purpose.“Nah.I’ll be on the couch in my comfy pajamas.If I leave you two unattended, you’ll kill each other, and then you won’t be useful to your new team.”
Cally answers like he’s smiling, but I hear the nerves tucked underneath.“Thoughtful of you, Ves.I’ll grab a blanket and a pillow while Monty makes tea.Crackers should be here soon, and we’ll have someone making you dinner.He claims to know how to handle your symptoms and keep food in your belly.”
“You two are overbearing,” she calls back.
“And you love us for that,” I say, aiming for easy.
The apartment hums around us—heat whispering through vents, rain ticking against the glass, the city’s distant hush living behind the windows.It’s too quiet for what just happened here.
Too much has shifted in a single day.Her father.The trade ...
And now this.
I hate how useless I feel.I hate that I can’t reach into her body and take the fear out with my bare hands.I hate that the only thing I can do is make tea, order crackers, and pretend that planning is the same as saving her.
I look at the bedroom door like I can see through it.
