“She was. But the lifestyle I lived worked for us. I was on the road a lot and she enjoyed going with me. Looking back, I think it was more about that than anything else.”
“What happened?”
“She said she was in love. She wanted to get married and start having kids. I thought she was rushing it some. I wasn’tready at that point. Not for a family at least. My career was starting to really take off, I wasn’t around enough, and though she traveled with me on the weekends, it wasn’t something you could do with kids.”
“Not at all,” she said.
“She was putting pressure on me to get her a ring,” he said. “I don’t always do well with pressure.”
It was a major red flag to him. He’d been clear where his head was at. It was too soon for that kind of commitment, but he wasn’t saying it was off the table. He had loved her. He did see a possible future with her at some point.
“I’m the same way.”
“I saw another side of her. When the ultimatums came, I dug my feet in more. Of course she didn’t like that. Then she was getting her coworkers to subtly drop engagement talks.”
“Ugh,” she said. “That’s annoying.”
“Very,” he agreed. “The next thing I know, she’s breaking up with me. Part of her plan, hoping I’d miss her enough to ask her back.”
“Or give her that ring,” she said.
“Exactly that. I don’t play those games. I moved on and she was even more pissed.”
“Moved on with another woman fast?” she asked.
“No,” he said, shaking his head. “Just moved on with my life. We weren’t living together, but I returned her stuff that was at my place. That’s when she realized she’d made a mistake. She tried to get back with me and apologize, but it was too late. My feelings had already changed months prior with her behavior.”
“Then you knew.”
If she had been the right one for him, he would have given her another chance. But that he could walk away so easily and two weeks later it didn’t bother him to see her at the office said he was better off.
“I did. She tried to make me jealous next flirting with someone else. Maybe I shouldn’t have laughed at her.”
“Ouch,” she said, smirking.
“Not my proudest moment, but it didn’t get much worse than that. She ended up leaving for another job.”
“There has been no one else?” she asked.
“Not that long and no one I can say that I was in love with. Have I thought I could fall in love with other women? Sure. But I tend to be one of these guys that gives it time before I open up.”
He wasn’t now and that was scarier than fuck.
Probably the biggest battle he’d had in his life was giving Farrah the time to decide where she wanted to go with him.
There was too much on the line. Too much at stake.
He knew those things and held it all back like he was used to doing.
But now he wasn’t so sure he had the strength to keep it locked up tight.
He couldn’t let her know that though. He didn’t want the pressure on her shoulders.
Patience was working and it’d have to continue, even if it was the last thing he wanted to do.
“I’m sure many would say that about me,” she said. “Things were fast with Tucker. They weren’t all terrible either, but once I got pregnant, it just all changed.”
“That’s horrible.”
