But she gave him the words. “No. He never tells me when he’s seeing someone and I’ve never told him when I was.”
“You said this is different. I’m the first person who Archer knows about. Did you stop to think he’s liable to tell his father? I’m surprised he hasn’t already.”
Unless he was thinking more of himself and his impact on the boy’s life.
What a shitty feeling that’d be. That he’d found what he’d been looking for but no one felt as deeply as he was.
Which was a lie because if he just opened his eyes wider and cleared his self-pity from his brain, he’d see how much he meant to both Archer and Farrah.
Hadn’t Archer asked him to watch out for his mother while he was gone? To be the man of the house?
You didn’t hand over those reins unless you trusted another person.
“I thought he would have also, but he hasn’t. Remember, they don’t talk that much and when they do, Tucker is normally talking down to Archer.”
“Which is emotional abuse,” he said.
She sighed and stabbed her fork into her lettuce. “I’ve had a lot of conversations with Tucker about that. He’s not stupid enough to yell at Archer. He lectures him like he did me. We didn’t fight until the end. I can’t control those things, but I can be there for my son. I’m not sure what you want from me. Tucker isn’t the best father out there, but he’s not going to harm his son.He’s not going to make him cry and if he did, he’d fix it because that is what he does.”
“Fix it how?” he asked. They were getting into something he’d never heard about.
“Buy him things. Make him look like the big guy. Take his mind off what was bothering him. That’s how Tucker operates.”
“So he did that to you?”
“He tried. The first time it worked, the second I caught on. I’m not a child he could manipulate. I have a good memory of past actions. I knew what he was about and I was the one who put up with it longer than I should have, but we had Archer.”
“And if you didn’t, would you have left him sooner?”
“Jayce, I’m not sure where you’re going with these questions. I did have Archer, so it’s a moot point. It serves no purpose to drum up hypothetical questions.”
“You’re right. Sorry. I guess I’m out of sorts he doesn’t know about me.”
“I don’t care if he knows. I’m not hiding any of it. Tucker has dated and been in relationships for the past five years. Archer has never told me about them.”
“How do you know then?”
“Because I just did. There’d be sly comments as if Tucker wanted me to question him and I never did. There would be times Archer would meet these women, but I’d find out after the fact. To him, they were friends of Tucker’s and nothing more. It’s not like he was an affectionate person in front of people. He never was and I doubt he’s changed, but if he has, that’s his life.”
“You really don’t care?” he asked.
“No. I can’t. I can’t fill my life with what my ex may or may not think of me as a person. I’m the mother of his child and I’m a good mother. I’m a good person, and if he didn’t see that, it’s on him.”
This was going downhill fast. “You’re an excellent mother. A wonderful person. He didn’t appreciate you like you should have been. Like I do.”
“No, he didn’t. He made his bed and hated that he felt it was an embarrassment to him I left. His actions caused all of that, but we’ve moved on. Archer is going to have a great time. That is what I’m focusing on. I hoped we’d have a great weekend together too, but maybe not.”
He put his arm around her shoulder. “We will. I think I got in my head. I would have liked to be there with you today when you dropped off Archer. Then I figured you said no because you didn’t want Tucker to know about me.”
“I’m not hiding you. It’s not that. The drop-off and pick-up has always just been the two of us. If I bring someone, he might feel he can do it. I want his attention on his son, not the person he’s with.”
“So it’s more about respecting and setting boundaries?” Which he should have realized.
“At this stage, yes. If one of us were remarried, that would be different. I love you, Jayce. I’m not putting pressure on anything and I know you’re not either. But for five years this is how we’ve done it. Tucker has had more opportunities to not be alone picking up or dropping off Archer and he hasn’t done it. I’m not going to the first time I’ve got a serious relationship. Not yet.”
“You’re a better person than me,” he said.
“Absolutely not. You’re very considerate. Patient. Lots of things I’ve needed in my life and am thrilled they’re there now. I don’t want you to be afraid to ask or say things to me.”
