“I think you do know,” he said. “What am I missing?”
“Do you wish you hadn’t come home? I could see the look in your eyes when Noah didn’t believe it. You relaxed more when they said you were nuts to not work for your parents before, but everyone knew how much you didn’t want to.”
He sighed. “You’re right. Not a conversation to be having standing in the kitchen like this. Let’s shower and then talk.”
He turned and walked away from her. She started this so she’d have to accept that she might not like what he was going to say, but she knew she’d need to know.
She’d been in a relationship before where she was left guessing, and wouldn’t do that again.
She put her coffee down and went to her room. The water was on and Jayce was dropping his underwear and holding his hand out for her to join him.
Why not? They’d get done faster.
They got in together, one on each side of the shower, each having their own showerhead, and cleaned up.
He was out before her since she shaved. No reason to not go through her normal routine.
By the time she was dried off and dressed, he was in the kitchen and starting breakfast. There were eggs on the counter with bread by the toaster. Her normal morning routine didn’t feel so relaxing right now.
She popped four slices in while he was scrambling eggs, then grabbed her coffee to finish it.
“We are out of the shower so you can talk now.” His silence while he cooked told her that maybe he didn’t want this conversation.
“First, why are you asking me these things? Just curious.”
“I don’t want to fight. But sometimes my mind wanders. I was in a relationship where I was left guessing a lot. It’s a horrible feeling I don’t want to repeat. I’d like to think that if I’ve got questions or concerns I can voice them.”
“Absolutely. And I’ve got no intention of fighting. You asked if I wished I didn’t come home and the answer is no. When I was back in Charlotte on Wednesday, I knew right away it was the best decision for me to have left. I made it for myself, just like I told them. I came back before you and I reconnected, and there isn’t anything about that life that I want back.”
“Nothing? I heard you talking about things last night. The pride and excitement in your voice when they questioned you and your relationship with players. You never gave much away, and I’m sure you felt like you couldn’t, but everyone could see you had friends there. Players, not just coworkers. Do you not talk to them anymore? I never ask and I should.”
“Most of them were friends because we worked together. I still text with a few players, but not much. The season is over and they are spending it with their families. I knew that a lot of those relationships were temporary. That doesn’t bother me and never think it.”
“So nothing like you had with Noah and Simon.”
His head shook slightly. “No. And maybe I didn’t realize until last night how much I missed that too. The true connection with someone who knows what you were like before you had to prove or make something else of yourself.”
“You’re the one who made that decision,” she said. “I don’t think anyone forced it on you.”
“No,” he said, sighing and finishing the eggs. “They didn’t. I did that all myself. I talked a big game, told everyone what I was going to do and when I got the job, maybe I bragged I was moreimportant than I was. But the harder I worked the more I saw myself rising in the ranks.”
“Everything you wanted,” she said. “But then you left.”
“I did. Maybe it wasn’t what I wanted at all. Or it was only for a period in my life. Those players, they know their time is limited and then they settle down. My brother, my sister, they were all moving on and... adulting.”
She laughed. “No one would say you weren’t an adult.”
“I know. But there were times I still acted like I was twenty-two. Then one day I looked at the young twenty-somethings and how they acted and it annoyed the shit out of me. I wondered if I was like that.”
“I bet you were,” she said. The toast popped and she put butter on it, then moved the plate to the island where he was sitting and grabbed some eggs.
“I was. I grew up. For you, becoming a mother had you look at life differently. Lots of things did for me.”
“Makes sense.”
“I told a lot of people I wasn’t coming home, and I think for me, the hardest part was waiting for people to judge it. I got a few comments on Wednesday, then last night. Some when I got home too. Like I had this easy life I could do whatever I wanted. It irked me. I worked hard at my last job and I am now.”
“But your friends’ comments were supportive.”
