“Why is this so hard for you?” she asks.
I run a hand over my cheek. “I just don’t like not knowing.”
She tilts her head. “Why?”
“I don’t know,” I admit. “I’ve just always been like that. I hate being in the dark.”
Her eyes soften with interest. “When was the first time you noticed this impulse toknow?”
I think about it for a moment. “I don’t remember the first time,” I say slowly. “But I remember hating waiting to find out my grades. I used to pester my teachers constantly.”
Claudia nods. “What was your home life like growing up?”
I stiffen.
“Can we not talk about that?” I ask.
She gives me a gentle look. “In order to understand your issues, you need to confront where they come from.”
I lick my dry lips and take a sip of water, buying myself a few seconds.
“I… I’m an only child,” I finally say. “Both my parents are pharmaceutical reps. That’s actually how they met.”
Claudia listens without interrupting.
“Growing up, it was like they were a team,” I continue. “Which, I get, that’s what marriage is supposed to be. But it wasn’t just about discipline or rules.”
I stare down at my hands.
“It was everything. What to eat, where to go, what shows we watched, what vacations we took. They always agreed. Always backed each other up.”
My throat tightens.
“And I basically ended up feeling like the outsider.”
Claudia studies me carefully. “You felt outnumbered.”
I nod. “Yeah. Exactly.”
“So when you didn’t know something,” she says, “or when something was out of your control, it felt unsafe.”
I blink.
“I never thought about it like that.”
She gives a small smile. “Not knowing feels threatening to you because, growing up, not knowing meant you were the last to be included.”
The words settle heavily in my chest.
“And now,” she continues, “Logan asking for space feels like being shut out all over again.”
I swallow hard.
“I guess so,” I whisper.
Claudia leans forward slightly. “But this time, Jessica, it isn’t you against them. It isn’t a child being excluded. It’s two adults trying to figure out if they can rebuild something that was broken.”
I stare at the steam rising from my coffee.
