Sidian chuckled, sliding one of the knives from the elastic band securing it in place as he turned it over between his fingers. “The breeding center had the same issue with me. I wasn’t allowed to be left alone with any utensils or cups or anything I might be able to break.”
“You grabbed a scalpel on your way out the front door.” Smart thinking on Sidian’s part; Roman wasn’t even paying enough attention to what Sidian was doing beyond running to know where he snagged it from. A lone cart, perhaps.
Sidian hummed softly, fingers brushing over the scab on Roman’s cheek. “You cut yourself making sure I didn’t fall.”
“It didn’t hurt. Doesn’t bother me.” He’d cared far more about catching Sidian than hurting himself.
Sidian’s hand slid down to cup his jaw, tilting it upward so that the cool, thin blade of the knife met Roman’s cheekbone. “What would you do if I used this on you?”
“Let you.” It wasn’t even a question. Saying no didn’t occur to him. If Sidian wanted to slice him open, then he could.
The thought of being at Sidian’s mercy shouldn’t be as exciting as it felt. Anticipation swelled in Roman’s gut at the thought, and an unwelcome memory returned. How many times, as a stupid teenage boy who was more hormone than he was human, did he wonder what it must have felt like to be under Sidian? To be at the receiving end of whatever weapon Sidian had gotten his hands on this time?
Viper training required them to refine their natural alpha pain tolerance into something borderline superhuman. Between thatand his own fucked-up head, masochism really should have been on Roman’s radar before now.
Sidian trailed the very tip of the blade down Roman’s skin, though he didn’t add enough pressure to cut him. “You always did look good covered in blood. Brace yourself, Roe. You’re gonna need it.”
Chapter Eleven
Something about the sight of Roman on his knees made Sidian want to cut him open, see Roman bloody and torn in front of him.
Logic would dictate it was because Roman was an alpha, and every single alpha Sidian ever encountered in his life had wanted to hurt him, or had hurt him. The businessman who convinced his worthless father to sell him like a whore, Pack Kincaid… So few compared to the world at large, but Sidian had been wary of alphas even before he presented. Wary, and always aware of hungry eyes gazing at his immature body in just a t-shirt and jeans. As if that was enough to lure them into the thoughts of what they might do to him.
He wanted to hurt Roman because he was an alpha, and because he couldn’t hurt anyone else who’d wronged him. But that wasn’t all of it. He wanted to hurt Roman because he enjoyed hurting people, and that very realization kept him from progressing anywhere in his mental health journey. Roman’s father saw it as a flaw, a symptom of something greater. It wasn’tallowed to be a part of Sidian because a good little breeding bitch didn’t want to sink its teeth in just to feel the flesh tear and the muscle twitch.
He wanted to hurt Roman because the thought of blood rolling from wounds inflicted by his own hand made his clit throb and his pussy ache to be filled.
Roman’s scent always answered the bloom of Sidian’s own, flames licking his skin as he watched Roman skim his shirt up and over his head. Ropes upon ropes of muscle, a feast for the eyes, shifting and flexing beneath that sun-kissed olive skin. There were more scars here and there, and a bitter growl rose in Sidian’s throat because none of them were his.
Roman was his. He should belongonlyto Sidian.
“Wherever you want,” Roman rasped up at him, and slick trickled into Sidian’s underwear. “Whatever you want, omega.”
Fuck.That single word made Sidian want to shove Roman against the floor so he could ride that pretty face of his. Sidian had been told it felt good, but none of the alphas who’d ever fucked him did more than rip him open and leave him bloody and raw. A whine tore from his throat at the memory, more terrifying than it had any right to be, because he didn’t want that. Not again. He’d been hurt so many fucking times he couldn’t even think straight if a gorgeous man offering himself up for the slaughter was enough to scare Sidian still.
Roman tipped his head back, baring the long line of his throat. A sign of utter submission. “What’s wrong?”
“You listen to me.” Sidian tapped the blade against Roman’s nose, biting back a chuckle when Roman’s eyes crossed to look at it. “Or you don’t get to fuckingtouchme.”
Those beautiful forest eyes flicked back up to his face. “You were thinking about them.”
“Whole fucking pack, yeah.” Sidian didn’t want to think about Pack Kincaid, but he couldn’t run away from them. Romanneeded to know, and how much longer Sidian could hide the worst of it from him was up for debate. “The shit they did to me… You ever fuckingthinkin that direction, and I won’t even give you the courtesy of a quick death. I’ll make sure you beg me to fucking die.”
Roman’s brows furrowed. “Of course. I’d let you.”
It clicked a moment later, and Sidian bit back a moan, slick gushing out of him like a damned fountain as he pressed his thighs shut. Roman’s submission was almost more than he could bear, omega hindbrain ill-suited for what it meant to be in control. He didn’t know alphas could be so submissive, could give in so freely and so openly, and it turned Sidian on so fast he felt dizzy. And horny, his cunt weeping to be touched.
He ran his tongue across his teeth. “I’m going to cut you. I’m going to hurt you.”
“I hope so.” Roman shifted on his knees, his scent thick and heavy in the air.
“Not just this once. I’m going to do it as many times as I want.” Sidian flicked the blade, and Roman flinched, though he didn’t respond fast enough. A thin cut opened on his cheekbone opposite the one Sidian had accidentally left on him in the forest, an almost-matching set. “And only when I’m satisfied do you get the privilege of getting me off.”
“I want to.” Roman swallowed, and Sidian watched the collar undulate with the shifting movement. “I enjoyed making you come at the motel. It was satisfying.”
Sidian chuckled and let himself wander back; that had been a good way to wake up for certain. “If you’re really good, I might let you get your tongue on my pussy. How does that sound?”
“Please.” Roman shifted on his knees, his hands twisting into fists atop his thighs. “Please, I want that. If you’ll let me.”
