“It really shouldn’t be a surprise by now, you know.”
“You’re right, it shouldn’t. But then again, you always seem to.” The way his gaze lingers on my lips before finding my eyes again, it’s clear he’s speaking on more than just my pervy mind, but I don’t get the chance to ask what he means, because he’s smiling and gesturing toward me. “I mean, you killed it with the speech. Thecoming to blowscomment was a stroke of genius.”
“And how did you feel about the rest of it?” I hedge.
Cam clears his throat before murmuring, “I think it hit home for a lot of people.”
There’s a second where we just stare at each other, neither of us speaking, and more than anything, I wish I could crawl inside that beautiful, blond head of his to know what he’s thinking. Not just about the speech, but about everything. About last night, about where we stand.
About where we go from here.
That’s the biggest one of all. Despite how much of the past we covered before I dragged him up to my suite, we still don’t know what path we’re on for the future—if we even are awe.
But, God, it felt like it last night. Every moment of it.
Even in the midst of his breakdown, when he was so clearly overwhelmed with all the feelings he was trying to repress, I still felt hope. And I still do right now, staring into those ocean blues. Because even after all the pain I caused, he leaned on me. He let me be the anchor keeping him steady during the raging storm of his emotions, despite being the catalyst for it forming. I have to believe that counts for something.
“Will you take a walk with me?” I ask once I finally find the nerve.
There’s a hint of wariness in his gaze before he glances over toward the table where he was sitting with his friends through dinner and speeches. “Yeah, but we better move quick if we don’t want Theo as a chaperone.”
“Why? Did you turn into a regency-era maiden in the past twelve hours?”
“Not far off, considering he’s made it his life’s mission to be a human chastity belt,” he says with a sigh, which only has me chuckling softly.
“Guess that’s what happens when Madden isn’t here to keep him occupied.”
“So I’m starting to realize.”
Thankfully, the bar is situated along the back wall, allowing us to slip out onto the terrace relatively unnoticed. Then again,with the reception festivities well in progress now, almost everyone is occupied on the dance floor—Theo included—leaving little time to worry about where the two of us are.
Cam holds the door open for me, and I’m hit with a brisk summer breeze coming off the water now that the sun has set. It has me bristling even more than his silence does as we walk over to the ledge—the same one where we devoured each other not even twenty-four hours ago.
I lean back against the cool stone to face him, and the second I do—the moment I see his expression waver with uncertainty—my stomach sinks straight to my ass.
Fuck, fuck, fuck.
“About last night—”
“Please don’t say it was a mistake.”
Cam instantly shakes his head, his brows drawing together. “Never. Nothing about you could ever be a mistake.”
I swallow, only to prompt, “But?”
There’s a beat of silence where his teeth sink into his lower lip, causing another bolt of panic to surge through me before he speaks.
“I think it was careless, us falling into bed without completely talking things out first.”
My throat catches, and I reach out and place my palm on his chest. “If this is about my feelings for Lexi—”
“It’s about you and me, Lo,” he whispers, a small smile on his lips. “The deal, the stuff with Lexi…I forgive you for all that. It hurt to hear the reason why you lied, but if I try to be objective, I can see why you did. You had no reason to trust that I could keep it a secret in the beginning.”
“I still could’ve told you at another point, though. When—”
“No, seriously. It’s okay,” he cuts in before shrugging. “There’s no point in talking ourselves in circles over it, you know? I’m ready to just…put it in the past.”
I nod a few times as I step forward, unable to stop myself from reaching up until my hand curls around the side of his neck. Fear and hope war within me as I stare into his eyes, and more than anything, I’m praying like hell what I’m about to propose will go the way I want it to—the way I fuckingneedit to.
