And the dam breaks, leaving me to drown in despair.
Thirty
Logan
July, Senior Year — Fourteen Months Later
The second I step through the massive double doors of the Grand Shoreline Hotel, my gaze drags upward, finding the ornate ceiling I know resides overhead. It doesn’t take more than a second for my heart to crawl into my throat while staring at the stucco designs and gilded carvings. Just the sight of them takes me back to a different time. The last time I was here, in this very spot.
To the person I was with.
Despite all the months that’ve passed, I often find myself looking back at that time, and all the moments I shared with Camden. And whenever I do, my mind chooses to focus on the night we were here. The night of the banquet. I remember every detail of it like it was yesterday: the way he spoke about me to my family, the way he cared for me when I felt invisible.
The way he kissed me like I was the oxygen he needed to survive.
I may not have been in love with him at that moment, but I can recognize it was certainly the start of the fall. The momentmy heart could no longer deny the magnetic pull it felt toward him.
My throat bobs as I swallow, and I push away the memories, locking them back in the box where they reside in the recesses of my mind. The weekend of my brother’s wedding isn’t the time or place to wallow in heartache, even if the circumstance does make it more noticeable.
I follow the signs for the restaurant where we’re having the rehearsal dinner, and find the opulent dining room situated near the back of the lobby. Mom and Dad spared no expense on the whole weekend—despite Quinton and Oakley’s many objections—which includes renting out the entire restaurant for the evening.
It only takes a few moments to spot my brother near the bar. He’s chatting and laughing and gesturing wildly, likely in the middle of a story, with Quinton, Holden, Theo, and the rest of their friend group listening in.
Includinghim.
I’d know that tall, muscular form anywhere, even if it’s dressed head to toe in a midnight-blue suit rather than his typical sweats, hoodie, and denim jacket. He’s as devastatingly handsome as he was the last time we were here, even just seeing his profile. The shade of blue he’s wearing will undoubtedly make his eyes an even deeper navy than they already are, and his sandy hair is styled back off his forehead, looking every bit the polished AHL star he is. He has the beginnings of a beard now too, adding to the allure he’s already dripping with, but it’s that intoxicating grin of his while he laughs at something my brother says that has my heart lurching in my chest.
Every fiber of my being is telling me to make a bee-line in his direction, craving proximity to the man I haven’t gone a single day without thinking about. My head, on the other hand? Well, it’s screaming at me to bolt in the other direction before he cannotice me.
Unfortunately, I don’t get the chance to decide. As if feeling my gaze on him, Camden’s attention slides to me, and whatever he was saying to my brother and their friends cuts off mid-sentence.
As if out of a movie, all of their gazes follow his, only to land on me. And while I’d normally cringe or shrink away from all their attention and scrutiny, I hardly notice any of it.
The only thing I see is him.
Electricity crackles in the air between us, zipping back and forth while our gazes remain locked on one another, and that sensation from earlier—the one pleading for me to cross the room to him—intensifies, and I take a step forward.
Even from across the room, I catch the subtle bob of his Adam’s apple as he swallows.
Do you feel it too?
The connection is broken when Theo places a hand on Camden’s shoulder, pulling his attention away from me again. I keep my distance while the two of them speak, still feeling the rest of their group watching me like a hawk—even my brother, like he’s waiting to see what move I’ll make next.
Whatever Camden and Theo were discussing ends quickly, only for Theo to shoot his gaze toward me and head off toward the tables in the back of the restaurant. The rest of their group follows suit, minus my brother, who lingers a few feet down the bar, clearly under the guise of getting another drink. I don’t know if he’s meant to bemyemotional support or Cam’s, but either way, it doesn’t matter.
When those blue eyes find mine again, my feet move of their own accord, carrying me toward him without a second thought. His probing gaze watches as I approach, and his chin lifts slightly when I finally stop beside him at the bar.
“Well, if it isn’t Little Reed, in the flesh,” he greets with one ofthose million-dollar smiles.
God, he’s even more devastating up close.
For a second, I just stare at him before I manage to find my words again.
“Hey, I, uh… I didn’t know you’d be here,” I say slowly. “Uh, you know, since you weren’t at the engagement party or anything.”
Though, that fact was more disappointing than I care to admit to myself, let alone aloud to his face.
He laughs as he circles his finger around the rim of his glass of dark liquor.
