“First off, I never said I lov—” I pause, her words finally registering, and turn to her. “What do you meanfakeboyfriend?”
“What? You really think I didn’t know?” she shoots back, arching a manicured brow. My face must say everything my mouth refuses to speak, because she lets out a scoff and shakes her head. “Oh, Loge. You can’t lie for shit. Not to me. Which is why Ialsoknow you’re lying with that whole ‘I never said I was in love with him’ blah, blah, bullshit you were about to pull.”
Her revelation shorts out the neurons in my brain, and I’m left struggling to reconnect the wires while I gape at her. I blink a few times, attempting to collect my thoughts, but my mind is filled with so many questions it feels impossible to know where to start.
“I… When did you figure it out?” I finally ask.
“I saw through you from the jump. The moment you said you and Cam were seeing each other.” Her tone turns gentle, matching her softening gaze when she adds, “I just didn’t want to embarrass you any more than I already did. You know, by calling you out on your feelings for me.”
Fucking. Christ.
My head falls back against the couch cushion, and I let out a humorless laugh. Because, of course, she knew the whole time. I’m sure Willow did too, which means not a single person was fooled by us faking it.
Apart from me, I guess.
“Well, this is just fucking perfect,” I mutter, scrubbing a palm over my face. Turning my head to face her, I’m hit with a massive wave of guilt. “I wasn’t trying to act on them, you know. Ever. I respected your relationship too much, and I would’ve never risked our friendship—”
“I know that,” she cuts in earnestly. Her teeth snag her bottom lip, and she shrugs. “I thought about saying something, having gone through the whole unrequited crush thing myself—”
“What? With Wyatt?”
She lets out a lilting laugh and shakes her head. “No, no. This was long before Wyatt. It was my brother’s husband, Aspen. Back before they got together. But the point is, I know how much it sucks, wanting someone who feels unattainable. Thankfully, after a while, I realized it was just a fantasy, you know? It wasn’treal.” Reaching over, she places her hand on my arm, offering a gentle smile. “I didn’t want you missing out on someone great—something that could be more than just a fantasy—because you were pining for me. So I figured it was better to keep quiet and see how it played out. Maybe you’d end up finding something real instead.”
“Glad to have been your social experiment,” I mutter indignantly.
I can’t deny she was right, though. While I felt absolutely nothing but contempt and irritation for Camden in the beginning, he quickly became better than any fantasy I ever had about the woman beside me.
What I felt for her pales in comparison to how I feel about him.
And that’s why it’s destroying me.
The hand resting on my forearm gives a gentle squeeze of reassurance before she pulls it away again.
“You love him, Logan. I can see it written all over your face. So you should tell him.”
“Except he ended it, Lex,” I tell her, my voice shattering as the statement falls from my lips. “I want to be with him, despite every logical part of my brain screaming at me why I shouldn’t. And before I even had the chance to tell him, he called it. So he obviously didn’t feel the same way.”
She purses her lips, her hazel eyes boring into mine. “You’re really making me want to hit you again. Damn fool.”
“I don’t—”
“Logan, shut up and listen to me,” she scolds, taking on her no-nonsense tone. “I might not know Camden all that well, but I do know what real love looks like. And, God, do I know pining when I see it. My brother was the gold medalist of it for years before he finally got his shit together. But the way I’d see Cam look at you? He might give Keene a run for his money.”
My attention drops to my hands, and I start picking at the hem of my shirt.
I want to believe her, I do. There was a time when I’d look at him, and I was almost certain he felt everything I did. But if that were true, then I don’t understand why he’d end it. Why he wouldn’t sayyes, there’s another reason we should keep doing this.Why he’d cut us off at the knees right when things were good—great, even.
The only thing that makes sense is… I fell for the lie, and he didn’t.
“I also want to point out, you saidwant,notwanted,” she murmurs, attempting to drive her point home. “So if you really dowanthim, then what do you have to lose by telling him?”
My fingers run through my hair as I nod, processing my options. Weighing them on a scale in my mind. Debating with myself over the kind of regret I’d rather live with: loving someone who doesn’t love me back or loving someone and never knowing if they feel the same.
And in the end, the choice is easy.
Grabbing my phone, I tap out a quick message to him and hit send before I can chicken out.
Me: Can we talk after you get back from graduation?
