Needless to say, I’m on a goddamn high from knowing my future is well within reach as I head inside the townhouse. More than anything, I’m excited to relay all of this to Logan. Because, in part, this is his win too. He’s put just as much into helping me achieve this, even if it meant putting aside his own grievances with his name.
And it was all worth it.
I hear him talking as I climb the stairs toward our rooms—more than attuned to the sound of his voice these days—but when I reach the landing, I catch a second voice in the mix. Bailey’s, I quickly realize.
I’m about to pass by, planning to let him talk to his best friend while I drop off my bag in my room, until I hearmyname mentioned, and my feet become rooted in place outside his door.
“I understand how you got caught up in this thing with Camden, especially if the sex is good, but you’ve been in love with Lexi for as long as I’ve known you. No matter how confusing this might seem right now, that’s gotta count for something.”
Nausea causes my stomach to churn, all of the excitement from moments ago evaporating into thin air. And somewhere inside me, I know I should move. Leave. Walk away, instead oflistening to whatever comes next.
And yet, my feet are stuck in quicksand, and I’m sinking.
Sinking…
Sink—
“I know you’re right,” Logan admits, only for Bailey to immediately ask, “Then what are you gonna do?”
My eyes slide closed, anticipating the worst. Waiting for him to say—
“I wish I fucking knew.”
Those five simple words sever every vein and artery in my body, and even as I’d prepared for them—for something even worse—they still leave me bleeding out internally on the floor outside his bedroom.
I gather my wits and my mangled heart as quickly as I can, dragging my corpse to the safety of my room while my throat threatens to close in on itself. Breathing is nearly impossible by the time I’m inside, gently closing the door behind me and dropping my duffle to the floor.
Somehow, I make it to the foot of my bed, the mattress dipping with my weight as I grapple with what I overheard, not quite believing it, but knowing it’s true all the same. And it’s not the part about me that stands out.
“You’ve been in love with Lexi for as long as I’ve known you.”
My teeth sink into my cheek, hard enough to taste blood, as the sentence replays in my mind over and over and over again. And each time, it shreds something inside me a little more. Because it can’t be true.
Can it?
A thousand questions run though my mind as I attempt to analyze every moment, every interaction. Every fucking minute I’ve seen the two of them together filters through my mind, searching for the evidence of what I so clearly missed.
Sure, Logan was texting her a lot while she was back in Portland, presumably to check in after the breakup, but I did the same thing. I didn’t think anything of it at the time, but now, I’m questioning everything. And the more I sit here and puzzle it together, the more it makes sense, pieces all snapping into place.
How he rushed to her aid the second he found out Wyatt was no longer in the picture. The way he was holding her when I came downstairs after it happened. The way he avoided being at the house as much as possible in the early days of our fake dating arrangement. Fuck, going all the way back to the first goddamn kiss, that day we came to the agreement, it’s clear as day.
“You’ve been in love with Lexi for as long as I’ve known you.”
“You got caught up in this thing with Camden.”
Bailey’s words ring in my head in a chorus, echoing off the distant recesses of my mind, only to pair with another voice.
“You’re not a night or two. Not to me.”
And for the life of me, I don’t know what’s true. What to believe. Or rather, I don’t want to admit how damning the evidence is, because it all points to him loving her.
And I’m just…
I wince, unable to think the words without wanting to break down on the spot.
The only thing pointing to the contrary is currently sitting safely in my desk drawer, and while I thought that piece of sketchpaper, covered in black ink, counted for something, I’m not so sure anymore.
My fingers rake through my hair as my eyes sink closed, struggling to keep my emotions at bay. Struggling to comprehend how we ended up here.
