Shit.
“I did,” I confirm without needing to and she hums, still looking at me intently and I swear to fuck, nervousness overrides me the longer she takes to answer me, to agree to a date where I will fucking ensure I’m dug deep into her bones because I may not have wanted this like every other brother I know but I won’t run away from it.
I’ll regret it if I do.
“Okay, at the school dance,” she finally says and I chuckle, I can’t help it but my grin soon wipes off when she adds, “But as friends…”
Son of a…
“No,” I instantly state, “not as friends,” but she gives me a small smile.
“Take it or leave it,” she whispers and my jaw ticks before she changes the subject as Lyra and Caleb bring their plates to us.
“My car won’t last much longer will it?” she confirms as she smiles at the kids who rush off through the kitchen swing door and into the living area and I sigh.
“A few months maybe,” I admit as I watch her load the dishwasher like it’s second nature and I can picture her now, wearing nothing but my shirt, her hair down, our kids asleepupstairs and the most terrifying part of that picture – a small bump.
I want a life with her.
I want to get to know her, to fall in love with her, and have a life with her but by the looks of things, she really is going to make it difficult for us and I don’t know how I feel about that, especially when this is the kind of life I steered clear of after everything with Cheryl, after shit came out about mama cheating on dad.
“About the friend thing…” I mention, not allowing her to move away from it now that the kids are out of ear shot.
I want a date, no, fuck that, I need one, so I can show her we belong to each other, to show her that her body compelled to be near me isn’t something to run from and that we can be scared together.
“I’m your son’s teacher,” she finally states and I narrow my eyes at her in confusion because why would that come into it, I mean, shit, she can feel the connection but won’t act it out because she’s...
My mouth parts with realization. Jesus, she really isn’t like other women is she?
I slowly lick my bottom lip as I nod with understanding while my respect for this woman climbs higher than it had when she brought her car to me. Most women in her position would jump at the chance to be with a brother but this woman, she’s not a patch chaser. No, she’s a fucking darling, my darling. Her sole focus is her daughter and her job, the happiness of the other kids and she’s putting them first despite there being a connection between us and something tells me, because of her love for my son, something my dad has claimed she has several times, she won’t give in even after he graduates her class.
I need a plan.
For years I have said no to an old lady, to falling in love and putting a woman before anyone else, before the club, yet my son, my head strong, conniving little boy who I love more than anything knew better, he knew I belonged with his teacher… Just like I knew her daughter belong to me in every way except blood.
She’s my daughter, I can fucking feel it and this time next year, I’m going to marry her mama and adopt her, I’ll even put my patch on it, I just need a plan, a really fucking good one.
I need help.
“What time do I need to be at the school next week,” I ask instead of trying to convince her we should be together knowing I need to take this carefully.
She’s clearly head strong and doesn’t think about herself and honestly, she seems like the person to keep her distance, something I believe she would have done if her car hadn’t acted up.
Holly’s beautiful eyes sparkle instantly and my chest squeezes at the grin that over takes her face, a dimple popping out on her right cheek and I melt.
Fuck I’m so screwed where this woman is concerned.
***
“Shouldn’t you be at the farm?” I mutter two hours later hearing my back door open and close, not stupid to who it is because no matter what he said a few weeks ago when we were convincing him to put his cut back on, despite not being at the club much, he’s always there when you need him and the fucker knew I needed him.
He knows how I feel…
“Nah, thought I’d come have a beer with my brother,” Tank replies as he takes a seat beside me on the decking and passes me a beer and I take it as I hum and look up at the night sky, not onecloud in sight, the stars shining and despite knowing my son is tucked up in bed asleep, emptiness fills me.
It took fucking everything in me not to stop Holly and Lyra from leaving an hour ago, and I mean, fucking everything.
They should be here under my roof, not in some townhouse with their cousin.
